15 Signs You Are An Empath

Do you feel things deeply? Have you ever been told you are too sensitive? Are you the peacemaker amongst your friends and family? If so, you may be an empath. Being an empath is a superpower if you know how to use it to your advantage.

Let's take a one-on-one deep dive into what it means to be an empath, the top 15 signs that you are one, how to regulate your emotional and mental wellbeing from today forward, the brain science behind the empathic feeling.

Transcript

Hey everyone,

Welcome to the Get Your Life Together Girl podcast.

I'm your host,

Danielle Vann.

As a cognitive behavioral therapist,

Life coach to women,

And author,

I've spent my life studying and learning from the stories that make us human.

It's my passion and goal to help you shift your mindset and create a lifelong revolution to help you reach your greatest potential.

This week we're taking a one-on-one deep dive into a behavior or trait that seems to be crossing many people's lips these days.

In fact,

I can almost guarantee you've heard at least one person in your life say they identify with this term.

What is it?

We're diving into what it means to be an empath while examining the top signs that you may be one.

Then we'll look at an empath's emotions and how to regulate them.

And lastly,

We'll chat about some of the things that you can do to use this superpower to your benefit.

If you aren't sure why you behave the way you do,

Or you've been called sensitive or over-emotional,

Well,

This is the episode that may open your eyes and give you workable tools to best serve yourself and the people that you love.

Or if you're around someone who you find to be too emotional,

This will help open your eyes as to how to best serve them as well.

So let's shift our perspectives and our ability to be our best selves.

The Get Your Life Together Girl podcast starts right now.

We are diving right into what we are talking about today,

Empaths.

And you know,

We're going to do so with a no holds bar kind of disposition today,

Ladies and gentlemen,

If you are listening as well.

I often notice an influx of similarities in my private sessions.

And you know,

It's not lost on me that we all seem to move through similar emotions and situations collectively.

I see it,

I feel it,

And I absolutely honor it.

But what I've noticed recently is a large amount of women identifying or seeking resolution,

Really,

For one thing that comes up in multiple different questions.

So I want to give you those questions,

But I've actually kind of moved them around a little bit so that it would really suit you and really help you identify if you are among the special group of humans known as empaths.

Now,

Again,

I've changed these questions to make them a little bit more personal.

So those questions are,

Has anyone ever told you that you are too sensitive or too emotional?

Right.

That's a that's a big question.

But most people can answer yes or no without much thought.

Do you feel drained or anxious when you spend time around certain people or in large crowds?

Can you tell when people are not telling the whole truth?

Right.

Like instinctively,

You just know.

Right.

Not that you have a preconceived notion,

But there's just this feeling that someone's being dishonest when a friend is feeling particularly happy or maybe even distressed.

Do you find yourself feeling those same emotions alongside them?

You know,

Like with them,

You feel the same way they do.

Do you get your feelings hurt easily?

This is a yes or no there,

Too,

Right?

Don't overthink it.

Do your nerves become frayed by noises,

Smells or excessive talking?

I laugh because,

You know,

I can actually fall into that path.

Do you struggle or have you struggled with emotional stress that impacts you a bit longer than what seems logical or what you would expect?

Do you struggle to keep your boundaries and intimate relationships and find yourself engulfed by them?

Are you easily startled?

And lastly,

Do you ever feel like you don't actually fit in?

Those are all big questions.

And maybe you're nodding your head or raising your hand to all of them on this list.

And if you can answer yes to three or more of those questions,

The standard is you do have some level of being an empath.

If you can answer all of them,

You are 100% an empath.

And,

You know,

It's yours to own.

Now,

To be clear,

Being an empath is different than being empathetic.

We talked about self-empathy and its necessity in our life in episode 55.

So if you missed it,

You definitely want to tune into that so that you can understand the difference.

But a quick explanation of being empathetic is,

You know,

When your heart really goes out to someone,

You can put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Being an empath means that you can actually feel somebody's happiness or sadness in your body.

You take on other people's emotions.

There are really,

You know,

A host of ways that empaths are impacted.

And we're going to talk about all of them in a minute.

But that's kind of a baseline,

Right?

But first,

Before we talk about it,

Let's get really brainy.

You know,

If you've listened to this podcast,

That I love the ins and outs of the brain.

I've been trained in it,

And it's a passion study for me.

And I think that I probably will be studying it for the rest of my life.

But fascinating research and studies have come out showing that the brain's mirror neuron system,

Which is a specialized group of cells that are,

They're responsible for our individual actions and compassions,

Are really hyperactive in empaths.

Now,

During the last two decades,

Neurologists and scientists have been studying mirror neurons because before this discovery,

We thought our brains use logical thought processing to interpret and predict other people's actions.

However,

Now many believe that we understand others not by thinking,

But by feeling.

This is so interesting.

Mirror neurons appear to let us simulate not only what someone else is going to be doing,

So their behavior,

But it also helps us understand the intention and emotions that we believe is behind the action itself.

This is huge.

Really important research.

Let me give you an example so that I can take the brain science out of it and put it back into everyday perspective.

Let's say you are at the grocery store or a marketplace.

You pass a stranger and they smile at you,

Right?

Every one of us have had this experience.

You can be literally in the worst mood,

But if you took in the smile,

You witnessed it,

You could actually feel yourself smiling back and it's subconscious.

Your mirror neurons are the reason why.

You experienced the smile,

You felt it,

And immediately and effortlessly,

You smiled back.

This is incredible brain development and another reason why it is so important to understand our emotions.

Now,

That's true whether you're an empath or not.

Before we go any further,

Let's cultivate our definition of empath and then we'll talk about the traits before we talk about the impact and how we can really use this to really guard ourselves and create emotional support for ourselves so that we can live with our lives fully together and in a state of thriving.

Many who have never walked down this road of understanding often think something is wrong with them,

But once they understand why they behave and feel the way that they do,

Really a whole new world of self-understanding opens up for them and they can finally start using this as their superpower,

Right?

This really purposeful trait that serves them and others.

So our definition is,

An empath is a sensitive individual who has a keen ability to sense what people around them are feeling.

When we are talking in the terms of cognitive behavioral therapy,

We also tend to believe that the term empath describes a person that experiences a great deal of empathy,

Often to the point of taking on the pains of others at often their own expense.

In a spiritual sense,

And now even more scientifically,

An empath can be described to mean someone with special abilities to sense emotions and energies of others.

There are different types of sensitivities an empath may experience.

Physical empaths,

For example,

Are attuned to other people's physical symptoms and they can absorb them into their own bodies.

So you see someone stub their toe and you could actually feel it in your toe.

There are people who do that,

Right?

Emotional empaths pick up people's emotions and become a sponge for their feelings.

So if someone's depressed and they're in their space,

They're gonna feel that.

There are roughly 11 types of known empaths,

But physical and emotional are really the most common.

So that's what we're gonna hang with today.

And beyond our definition,

We're gonna dive into a few questions I often get when talking about empaths,

And then we'll go deeper into the understanding of what you may experience on the day-to-day and even the common traits.

So before we do that,

Let me say this.

For anyone,

And I do mean anyone,

Who has ever been told that you are too sensitive,

Too emotional,

Too much,

Too anything,

You,

My dear,

You are literally the medicine of this world.

You are the medicine the world needs.

Empaths are often the people that make the greatest impacts in our world because they understand compassion and understanding.

You are the ones who not only enrich your own life,

But you are of service to others.

These are your healers.

These are your therapists.

These are the people that guide you.

You know,

Those guideposts I often talk about.

Being an empath is not a bad thing.

So let's take it off the table now.

And let's address the first question that I get so often,

And that is,

Are empaths real?

And honestly,

That depends on who you ask,

Right?

Depending on which specialty you ask in the medical health field or in the mental health field,

You will receive a number of varying answers.

In my thought process and in my training,

Especially through the HeartMath Institute,

There is staggering and insanely interesting information and research that proves empaths are not only real,

But they do make a huge energetic impact on our world.

So for me,

It's a firm yes,

But I'll leave it to you to answer the question for yourself.

The second question is,

What's the difference between an empath and a highly sensitive or overly sensitive person?

And that's a very good question.

Truthfully,

The lines are extremely blurred here.

I wish I could give you a clearer answer,

But there are a few distinctions between the two.

Highly sensitive people have innate personality traits that create sensitivities,

Not only to the realm of their emotions,

But in all sensory areas.

So we see things like being overwhelmed by visual or audio stimulation.

Certain music and art can be too much,

Or they can be really moved by those things.

And there's a depth of processing that so many people don't actually have.

And that means making decisions cost a highly sensitive person more time because they need more time to process what they are thinking and looking at.

That isn't necessarily true for an empath.

And so that's some of the differences.

But these people are sort of overreactors,

Right?

They have a hard time accepting feedback.

They tend to hide their emotions.

And they can really be taken down by negativity.

I mean,

Can't we all,

Right?

All of us can be,

But this seems to be a different level.

And they really have a higher fear of rejection and often experience tension and anxiety at a deeper and higher level as well.

So some of those traits just don't cross over to empaths,

And some of them do.

And so let's go on to the next question because I really wanna get into what our superpower is as empaths.

So the last question is,

Are empaths developed due to trauma?

This is a big question,

And we're only gonna scratch the surface with the answer,

But the answer is yes.

Many empaths have experienced some level of high emotional trauma or post-traumatic stress.

This is in part because they were,

Or maybe still are,

On sensory overload for so many years.

Or even in the short term,

It can be really damaging as well,

But generally it's long-term that we're looking at.

But when this occurs,

Our nervous system is constantly being flooded with adrenaline.

Other reasons empaths are developed in early childhood would be neglect,

Abuse,

Or simply not being seen in families.

So other examples of that might be hearing parents or siblings frequently arguing at overwhelming rates or levels,

Being repeatedly yelled at or downgraded or belittled.

Physical and emotional abuse would be one,

Or being shamed and blamed for being oversensitive.

You know,

Another last thing outside of the home would be high levels of prolonged bullying.

When we are exposed to early trauma or abuse,

Young nervous systems develop defenses,

And without healing them,

We can become hyper-aware,

Hyper-vigilant,

And become more in tuned with the environment around us to help us create safety for ourselves.

Remember,

Your brain's number one job is to keep you safe.

Now,

Can this be healed?

Absolutely it can.

It is necessary for me to say that in childhood,

Our brains are constantly evolving,

Growing,

Creating new patterns and learning.

But once we reach adulthood,

Our brains have to be tested and consciously challenged into change and rewiring.

Yes,

Our brains are always changing.

It's an ever-changing evolution,

But we need to challenge ourselves for new patterns to be formed and developed.

Otherwise,

The brain will seek whatever pattern it's most used to in any given situation.

Got it?

All right,

So now let's talk about other traits we see in empaths.

There are so many,

It would be impossible to hand them over to you all right now,

But we can walk through some of the most commons and the pros and cons.

Now,

Let's start with the cons so we can get them out of the way,

You know,

And then end on a high note,

Right where we should always be.

We always want to keep ourselves in focus and in check.

And so the cons.

Empaths are often mistaken for being aloof,

Standoffish,

Or even snobby.

Many people don't recognize that empaths keep their distance to protect themselves and assure themselves that they can keep on emotional and mental solid ground.

They're not being snobby.

They're not being aloof.

They're really trying to protect themselves.

Because of this,

They can also have trouble fitting in.

They can easily be overwhelmed by things that are simple in the eye of other people,

But for them,

It is massive.

They can be quote,

Moody,

Right?

Because their emotional state can shift really rapidly.

You can consider empaths as some sort of emotional chameleon,

If you will.

Anger or yelling can really make them feel physically ill or even exhausted.

If you are an empath,

You can often find that people will use you to offload their problems.

And,

You know,

You have a hard time telling them no.

You can become uncomfortable around fake people,

Air quotes fake.

You know,

This is kind of a pro and a con,

Right?

Because you can see through people easily and that's always a plus to help guide you into the right relationships.

But that also means that you can tend to draw in narcissists.

There's always a downfall with constantly dealing with other people's emotions because for empaths,

It's hard for them to unwind themselves out of that connection.

You know,

To put it lightly,

It's exhausting.

Many struggle with balance,

Stress disorders,

Sleep issues,

And maintaining their mental well-being.

In 2011,

A study was released that found empaths have higher rates of anxiety,

Especially social anxiety.

It also found that empaths are much more likely to operate with high functioning anxiety,

Which means there's a constant level of anxiety,

But it's then used as,

You know,

Motivation and the driving force that gets things done.

Anxiety in the end is not a positive behavior in our lives,

Right?

Whether it's high functioning,

Social,

Or it's physical or emotional,

It doesn't really matter.

It's not really a great thing for us to lean on.

Lastly,

It can be troublesome to create long lasting bonds with others because let's face it,

Right?

Most people are not comfortable being around those that,

You know,

Can easily see through them or quickly see through them.

Many people walk through life wearing a mask of what they want people to see and feel.

But when that mask is lifted,

Especially without permission,

Those people often pull away.

Not everyone wants to be an open book because,

You know,

They're not interested in being authentic.

Now,

Let's shift into the good because we need to talk about how we can regulate our emotions and protect ourselves to stay well and to really help empower ourselves and those empaths in our lives.

You know,

Because we all know them and we love them.

So let's start with the pros.

And the first pro really comes with hard scientific evidence that a lot of people tend to reject.

Empaths are highly attuned to their intuition,

Right?

It's scientifically founded.

You can call it whatever you want.

So if the word intuition rubs against your beliefs or it makes you uncomfortable,

Let's call it whatever you want to call it.

You know,

Inner guidance system,

Inner knowing,

Inkling,

Hunch,

Instinct,

Gut feeling,

Whatever you want to call it,

Call it that,

Right?

It all comes back to a highly valuable trait of being able to understand something immediately without the need of,

You know,

Conscious reasoning.

You can take it a step further and say it's a knowing that comes with trust without question.

I love the way that Psychological Today has described intuition.

It is,

Quote,

Intuition is a mental matching game.

The brain takes in the situation,

Does a quick search through its files,

And then finds its best analog along with the stored information from memories and knowledge and really puts them together,

Right?

That's intuition.

True intuition is an early warning system that is done through the subconscious level of our tactic knowledge.

That's a podcast in and of itself.

Maybe I'll do one.

We'll leave it there.

It's done at the subconscious level and another piece of our understanding.

With intuition in play as an empath,

You usually have extreme attunement to your own feelings as well.

It's easy to engage with yourself and recognize your gut feelings.

This attunement can actually be used to differentiate between your emotions and the emotions you pick up around you.

But that is a developed skill and something we'll talk about in just a moment.

It also helps you to see beyond feelings and seek the reason for those feelings.

This is very important because most people who are not empaths react solely to what's happening around them and generally do not stop.

So that pause,

Right?

Holding space to question if the situation is about them or if the emotion or moment is being directed at the right person.

When empaths develop deeper awareness,

This becomes one of their great superpowers.

Other pros really quickly,

You know,

Empaths are majorly empathetic.

They're amazing problem solvers because they can see the situation from a different angle.

And,

You know,

This is something that most people do not have a skill set for unless you found yourself in therapy or life coaching and then that becomes a standard operation for you.

Generally,

Right?

That's the purpose.

Empaths are deeply caring and I'm going to say that's probably a pro and a con because deeply caring about anyone or something is really a beautiful thing.

But over caring can take us down.

It can even at its worst cause us to abandon our personal aspirations.

Empaths are often peacemakers among their friends and family and really anybody they come in contact with.

They're pretty damn good mediators because they don't take sides,

Right?

They can see everything from every angle and they just want peace.

So they want to facilitate it.

Now,

This habit,

This trait that I'm going to bring up now,

I believe is the top one,

At least,

You know,

As far as I have seen empaths operate.

And this is the fact that they test their beliefs,

Opinions,

And ideas at a far greater rate than most people.

They really don't stick with habits that don't serve them.

And if they do,

After a while,

When they realize it's draining them,

They move on.

They understand that things change and evolve and that every situation in their lives cannot be answered by a standard formula or,

You know,

Habit.

It's really a beautiful thing and it's something that everyone should develop.

But empaths are much better at it than those who are not.

On the bright side,

Empaths are excellent friends and amazing listeners.

They always show up for people.

They're genuine.

They have big hearts.

They're generous with their time,

Attention,

Emotions,

And love.

There are so many things that I can say,

But let's put a pin in it right now so that we can really get into the superpower,

Not only for ourselves,

For those of us that are empaths,

But also for those around us.

I say those around us because perhaps you can't see yourself as an empath,

But you are starting to recognize that someone around you is.

If that person isn't aware that he or she is an empath,

They may be using this trait to their detriment.

We see higher levels of numbing in empaths.

We see it with food and alcohol,

Drugs,

Risky behaviors,

Sexual partners and behaviors because they're trying to shut down the overwhelming feeling.

There are key skills to learn,

Whether it's for yourself or someone around you,

That will help you prevent empath overload and also take advantage of the sensitivities,

The pros that make this ability really so special.

So let's break down how to manage and support ourselves and those around us.

The first thing is,

Many people struggle with boundaries,

But when you are an empath,

It is absolutely necessary.

For so many empaths,

Saying the word no,

Literally pushes them over the edge.

If you don't know how to set healthy boundaries,

Listen to episode six as I walk you through the exact ins and outs.

As to having healthy boundaries,

Not being able to say no often leads to over committing and draining yourself emotionally.

Now this goes for everyone,

But you have to have firm boundaries and standards in place as to how much time you're willing to engage.

You know,

Listen to other people's worries,

Complaints and problems.

There has to be a boundary line that can't be pushed.

And you have to really be able to kindly,

I do mean kindly,

Say,

You know,

I don't have space for that right now.

Another pro tip,

Right?

This is like relationship 101,

Move you on the favoritist best friend scale level,

Right?

If you know someone in your life that is an empath and you use them as a sounding board,

If you will get into the habit of asking the singular question,

You will literally give so much space and respect in that relationship for you and the other person.

And that question is,

Do you have emotional space for my problem right now?

Think about if someone said that to you and you have to be willing to be okay with whatever answer you receive,

You know,

Without giving pushback or upset.

But if someone said,

You know what?

Thank you so much for asking.

I really don't right now,

But I probably do tomorrow.

Wouldn't you respect that so much more than just,

You know,

Emotionally vomiting all over someone and then being upset when they go,

I don't know.

And they really don't engage with your feelings and emotions the way you hope they would,

Right?

Practice that.

Ask that question.

It is huge.

For empaths,

Remember,

You know,

No is a complete sentence and silence will always be an answer.

As empaths,

You must protect your emotional,

Mental,

Spiritual,

And physical health and well-being.

And to do so,

You have to have clear limits,

Expectations,

And boundaries.

Next,

This is a big one.

You must take time to learn about energy and your emotions.

You've heard me say this before,

But we are all energy bodies and our bodies have an energy field.

This is pure science,

Right?

That's not the spiritual side of anything.

This is pure science.

All living things emit energy vibrations and each of us is impacted by that.

This is what empaths pick up on,

Right?

When we have a hyperactive brain,

When our mirror neurons are picking up on everything,

Our brain takes in more energy.

Emotions are impulses.

Impulses are energy.

Thoughts are energy.

Action,

It's also energy.

You get it.

Everything is energy.

Empaths must take time to explore their emotional understandings and their personal definitions.

The homework here is to come up with an understanding of your personal definitions and your level of sensitivity.

You know,

That's an ongoing practice,

By the way,

But it really is a necessary thing.

Another beautiful method to explore when it comes to energy is the healing art of Reiki.

It's been around for,

You know,

Eons,

Right?

It's energy healing techniques and it can be practiced on yourself.

If you're unfamiliar with Reiki,

Just type in Reiki into Google and you're going to have a world of knowledge at your fingertips.

Of course,

Like anything that you Google,

There's going to be some odd information out there.

Just look for the articles,

Videos,

And practices that align with how you think and what you know will work for you.

With this,

Understand that you have to give yourself deep permission to unplug,

Right?

This is the next step.

You have to really get into a space that goes beyond the personal boundaries and it is personal permission to take a time out for yourself.

We have to find time to establish healthy and fulfilling self-care practices.

You know,

Maybe it's going out into nature.

It's learning how to meditate,

Listening to your favorite calming music,

Exercising,

Whatever it is.

You have to make this a priority.

It's so necessary.

We also must realize that constant exposure to social media or negative news will always drive anxiety and that's for everyone.

But this especially creates heaviness in our mind,

Body,

And souls of those that are empaths.

It is vital that you unplug.

Limit your exposure to these things.

Go with whatever you're comfortable with,

But you have to set limits and set timeframes for yourself.

You know,

If you're especially feeling overwhelmed one day,

Limit your exposure to 15 minutes every couple of hours or say this is,

You know,

A no social media or no news kind of day.

Beyond digital,

You have to give yourself permission to unplug from people too.

So many people call this selfish,

But in actuality,

It is emotional and mental preservation.

Just allow yourself to do that.

Empaths that practice mindfulness have better self-regulation skills.

We can all get caught up with the world around us,

But practicing mindfulness allows us to slow down.

It allows us to really engage in our nervous system in a way that regulates it by using our breath.

And ultimately,

If we can quiet our mind,

We could recenter our body.

To get you started,

A great mindfulness mantra would be in this moment,

I am safe and well.

My emotions,

Thoughts,

And actions belong solely to me.

This is a great way to practice mindfulness.

You know,

This helps too to separate yourself and come back to center.

Here's a huge one that is necessary for all of us,

But you know,

Especially empaths,

Because that's what we're talking about today.

Get ready for it.

Learn to silence your inner critic.

You can listen to episode 55.

If you don't know how to do that,

It is so necessary.

I'm going to pause for a minute because there's an epiphany happening for me.

I mean,

I already knew this,

But it's all coming together now.

You know,

So much of what I teach and what I've learned and what I have really done so much research around has all been through how to handle my own empath situation,

Right,

My own ways.

And so it's interesting to see how many episodes have really been centered around the things that we need most as empaths.

So let's move on.

Listen,

Your inner critic is one nasty coach that lives rent-free in your head.

You know,

It's waiting for an opportunity to tell you what a failure you are,

How you won't amount to anything or asking you,

You know,

What's wrong with you?

You know,

Or it accuses you of being far too sensitive.

You get it.

It's that inner bully that lives within all of us.

Now,

These words are often developed by situations or handed over to us by those that were supposed to keep us safe.

But,

You know,

It's important to know that we can release them and we don't have to be taken down by these self-attacks.

When we are emotionally sensitive,

We can fall into the trap of trying to numb the negatives away.

Remember,

I said that before.

The most important part of this is to understand that the mind does not have a metrics for what is positive or negative.

It's just a blanket understanding.

Whatever you tell your brain is what it takes in.

When we focus on our thoughts and our emotions,

Not that inner bully,

We take ourselves out of the small boxes and out of little lives.

Now,

Let's move on to the next thing.

And this is one that I cannot stress enough.

I just can't.

You must,

And I mean must,

Absolutely be selective of who you spend your time with.

Look,

The truth is certain people are better off in the rearview mirror of your life.

That feels nasty.

I know it does,

But it's the truth.

Some people are better if you distance yourself physically,

But keep a connection via text or phone.

Others,

It's better to emotionally distance yourself.

But remember,

If you spend too much time with toxic personalities,

You can feel like your life is being poisoned from the inside out.

Not the outside in,

But the inside out because you're taking it all in.

It's sitting within you.

If you are around people who drain you,

You need to evaluate how you're being served in the relationship.

It's a big one.

One of the sayings my stepmom would always say to me when I was a child and,

You know,

Someone hurt my feelings or there was some stress in my life,

She would always say,

Consider the source.

I love that saying still to this day.

I still use it because it is so important.

Consider the source of what you're experiencing and who you are experiencing it from.

You know,

Is this thing,

Is this person adding to your life or are they causing more upset?

If the source isn't healthy,

If it's not contributing,

Maybe the source needs to be reconsidered.

Right?

Very important.

I swear I just heard someone yell,

But how?

All right,

Detachment.

That is how.

If you heard me talk about the thought process,

You already know that the only thing that we can truly impact is what we give power to.

And that goes for how things impact us as well.

Yes,

Things occur,

But how we perceive them and how we respond is the level of power in which we give to that situation.

Same with emotion,

Same with thoughts,

Always with action.

This is the baseline to that,

You know,

Saying that goes,

It is what it is.

I hate that saying,

But here it is true.

When we consider the source and realize that we've given too much power to it,

We can take a step back.

We can detach.

We can offer empathy,

Love and kindness,

But that's it.

We can stop trying to fix people in situations that were never ours to fix in the first place.

We detach our emotions and our mental involvement because we know that it's not our burden to carry.

Now,

The second to last thing we need to focus on is listening to our personal narrative.

When you soak up other people's stuff,

For a lack of a better word,

You have to know your inner voice super intimately.

I mean,

Like you can hear yourself speak and you can hear someone else's voice within your head that intimately.

You have to know what belongs to you and what belongs to others.

So you have to take time to listen to your inner conversation.

You can do this through journaling or any other thing that really helps you distinguish your narrative.

Lastly,

At least for today,

Because again,

We can talk about this forever.

Before we talk about a few practices,

Though,

Let's talk about the last one,

And that is to find your balance.

This is an evolving practice that all of us should be working on and towards every single day.

But if you don't know how to ground yourself or bring yourself back to center,

Life can just simply spin out of control for you.

And again,

This is where the addictions find their way in.

When it comes to balance,

You have to be aware of what ground zero is within you.

You have to know what it feels like to be centered so you know what it feels like when you're not.

When you move through life stressed and upset,

We think this is our norm,

That this is our balanced self.

But it's not.

Our balanced self is never stress.

Within you,

There is a core of balance.

When you know what it feels like and looks like,

You can stop allowing the environment around you and others,

For that matter,

To,

You know,

Stop impacting your mood.

You can also have the wherewithal to bring yourself back into center and balance much quicker because you know when you're not there.

That's important for all of us to do.

Now,

Let's talk about some practices that you can start using today,

Right,

Or suggest to someone else.

If you know an empath,

Maybe send them this podcast episode or write these tips down so that you can hand them over and,

You know,

Make it sound like you've been doing some research to help them,

Right?

All right.

So the first thing is for highly visual people.

And for those of you who have never tried this strategy or maybe it feels like you're pushing some self boundaries here,

It could feel a little strange,

But I want you to try it before you discount it.

The practice is called shielding visualization.

This is a pure mind trick.

It is a brain hack,

OK?

And it really does help you to feel safe in certain environments around certain people.

So let me quickly walk you through it because it really is very simple.

And you start by taking a few calming breaths.

In your mind,

I want you to see yourself.

Place yourself in a calm space that you love or a place that's your favorite and really begin to continue that breath.

And as you do,

Visualize putting a bubble or a shield around yourself.

This is really great for anxiety,

Too,

By the way.

But I want you to continue to breathe and make sure that that bubble envelops all of you completely,

Head to toe,

All the way around.

Some people find themselves making their bubble their favorite color or they make the shield pure white light or even rainbow.

It doesn't matter,

Really.

It doesn't.

Don't fight whatever comes.

Just allow your mind to create whatever it wants to naturally.

You know,

Next,

Picture yourself really placing all of your good intentions,

All of your good emotions inside of it.

So name in your mind what those good feelings are that you want inside that bubble.

Maybe it's happiness,

Harmony,

Joy,

Love.

It doesn't matter.

Whatever feels best to you.

And as you look outside of the bubble,

I want you to realize that all of the negative things,

All of the hurtful emotions,

Negative emotions,

Negative intentions are outside and they cannot cross or permeate your barrier.

When you know what is outside and what is inside,

Lock this image in your mind and use it anytime you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed or uncomfortable or you just need a mental or emotional break.

You can use the image that you've already created or do the exercise at will.

It's really excellent.

It's truly a form of meditation and self-awareness,

But it's a great exercise that actually works and it de-escalates the brain.

The next practice is a journaling practice,

Right?

It's a habit that has to really be developed.

I understand that not everyone loves to write and many times when I suggest journaling,

I get pushed back because of time constraint or feeling as if they don't have enough ability to put emotions on paper.

But here's the deal.

We scientifically know that if we release our emotions,

We release our toxic response to them.

That is huge.

And all you have to do is commit to 10 minutes each day.

I'm not asking you to write for four hours.

I'm asking you to write for 10 minutes.

If you want to go longer,

Great.

But what you do is you write down how you feel,

What's happening within you.

That absolutely begins to shift and transform your centered perspective.

Journaling can help really create emotional regulation,

Processing,

And it helps you create a stable mental environment.

Again,

10 minutes a day.

That's all you have to do.

There's no excuses.

You have 10 minutes.

You were on social media for eight hours.

Look at your phone,

Right?

Look at how much you've used your phone.

This past day,

And you know that you have 10 to 20 minutes to commit to emotional regulation.

So if you need help getting started,

Simply write the sentence and carry forth whatever comes forward for you.

Today,

I feel and fill in the blanks,

Right?

Fill in the rest.

Do so with no judgment.

Just do the work.

It's fantastic.

And it really helps you.

The next thing is meditation.

I get pushed back here too because so many people say I cannot clear my mind.

I cannot make my brain stand still.

And I'm telling you,

As a meditation teacher,

I hear you.

I get you.

I see you.

I feel you,

Okay?

I'm not asking you to do that.

What I'm asking you to do is to ground yourself and release emotions through your breath,

Right?

I personally meditate every morning,

Seven days a week because it does reset my mind,

Body,

And soul.

And I could go on and on about this,

But I want you to listen to the neuroscience because it has been proven that people who meditate have greater gray matter,

Right?

The good stuff in their brain.

They have greater and deeper self-connection.

They have better emotional regulation and they have a better grasp on how to achieve centering peace.

Here's the other piece that's really big.

We have found no difference on the impacts of the body between someone who meditates for four hours,

Right,

Or an hour-long meditation for someone who spends five to 10 minutes in meditation.

There is no difference,

Okay?

So I want you to really slow down,

Find a calm space,

Engage in your breath,

Use your mind to focus,

And I promise you,

You will see benefits.

This is fantastic,

Not only for your brain,

But it helps your body calm down and release.

You know,

Speaking of breath,

Let's go to my next favorite thing,

Right?

You've heard me talk about it so many times.

Your breath is the number one way to regulate your nervous system.

Breathing exercises never have to be complicated,

Right?

So I'm gonna give you my favorite one.

It's something that I teach.

It's something I love.

It's something I've used myself in times of deep stress,

And it's called box breathing.

There's actually a video on the Get Your Life Together Girl Instagram page.

If you need a visual,

Scroll all the way down to the bottom,

I think,

Really.

I think it was one of my very first videos that I put up on Instagram,

And you'll find that quick video to help you.

But if you're ready to go now,

It's very simple.

Simply use your thumbs and your pointer finger on each hand to create a box right in front of you,

Right?

So just create it right in front of you there,

And you're gonna use your breath as a way to move from each point of the box.

Now,

Once you can visualize the box itself,

I want you to drop your fingers and just use your pointer finger.

It doesn't matter right or left.

It depends on if you're right-handed or left-handed.

Just use what's comfortable and pick one point of the box at the top.

What you're going to do is visualize that box,

And as you inhale to the count of four,

I want you to hold it for two to four.

In the beginning,

Two is probably going to be easier than four.

You know,

Whatever is most comfortable for you.

But as you exhale,

I want you to use your finger to trace down to the next point of the box,

And you're going to do that to the count of four.

So count of four to inhale,

Hold a count of two to four,

And then exhale to a count of four while moving your finger to the next point in the box.

When you get to that next point,

I want you to inhale again to the count of four,

Hold to the count of two to four,

And then move to the next point of the box.

Again,

You're going to exhale as you do.

You will do this four times so that you complete the box.

When you get finished,

You can determine if you want to continue on.

You know,

Do this as many times as necessary to help you feel rebalanced.

It's a great exercise.

It gives you the ability to visualize the breath.

And you know what?

When you are counting your breath,

When you are focused on the breathing techniques,

Your mind simply can't stress,

Right?

Let me give you one more exercise,

And this one takes a little bit of focus,

And it too can feel a little foreign,

But it is something that is incredibly effective.

It's called the emotional body scan.

Every one of us carries emotions in our bodies.

I've already told you that we are energy beings.

We have an energy field.

Think about it.

Your stress is not stored outside of you,

Right?

It's inside of you.

You can say,

You know,

I've got a headache or my stomach hurts or I have chest pains.

You know,

Some people carry their stress in their shoulders or their jaw,

And some people feel,

You know,

Queasy in their stomach or they have headaches.

You know,

What we're doing here is we're checking in not only with the emotional body,

But the physical body.

Here's what you'll do.

You'll find a comfortable space and you'll take a few deep breaths.

It doesn't matter if you start at the head or at your feet.

What you want to do is simply check in.

I'm going to start at the feet,

And I want you to really think about what this process is.

You're going to just bring your awareness,

Your attention to your feet and say,

You know,

How do they feel?

Are there any emotions or thoughts that arise when you think about them?

An example would be,

My feet are really sore.

And here you can go a little bit deeper as you're breathing and just say,

Why are my feet sore?

Or you can try to visualize or feel the tenderness and tension leaving your feet.

Some people even say,

OK,

Thank you.

I'm done with that now.

Whatever the emotion or the feeling was that came up.

When they exhale,

They really allow the discomfort to leave them.

When you are ready,

You can move on to the next place that you want to feel and examine.

So maybe it's your calves and you do the same thing.

What am I feeling?

You continue to do this throughout the body,

Connecting with yourself and the emotions or the situations that come up for you during the scan.

This is another great way to reset,

Self-connect and work on releasing anything that is not serving you.

And then I have a quick suggestion,

Right?

So those were great practices,

But I also highly recommend using affirmations or intentions to help transform your inner state and reset your mind.

When we speak with intention or we speak intentions out loud,

We tell the brain what we want and what we need,

Especially the subconscious mind.

It's here that we create focus.

This is extremely important.

A great affirmation would be,

I release all of the emotions that are not mine.

Another would be,

I release anything not serving my emotional and mental well-being.

Use your own powerful affirmation to help you focus for yourself.

Ultimately,

Being an empath is a beautiful thing.

It is a unique gift that can help heal yourself and others.

It can change relationships for the good.

It can provide peace where there is none.

It really is a superpower.

It can help you see that you have courage,

Joy and beauty,

And it can help others do the same.

Just like any other trait or behavior with focus,

You can change how you show up with it and how you thrive in this world.

If you found yourself identifying with these behaviors,

Do yourself a favor and do some research.

Dig into what makes you tick and what will work for you.

Maybe these exercises aren't,

You know,

In alignment with what you want,

But find the things that will.

For many,

This understanding unlocks so much.

You deserve to have a grounded,

Fulfilled life.

And it is an essential step into getting your life together,

Girl.

Thank you so much for listening to the Get Your Life Together Girl podcast.

I hope you've enjoyed these tips for bettering your life.

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If you're seeking daily inspiration or additional tools and tips,

You can follow me on social media at Get Your Life Together Girl on Instagram,

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And you can visit the show notes,

Blog and my website at getyourlifetogethergirl.

Com.

Until next time,

Be kind to yourself and others.