I too am afraid.
Sometimes it's a dull ache,
Like an oncoming migraine sitting behind my right eye.
Other times the fear is all consuming,
Like bread in an oven,
Swelling and overflowing its tin.
I too sometimes feel I have nowhere to go,
Desperate for a home of understanding,
Searching for a person who when I share something with I don't have to ask,
Do you know what I mean?
I can get so lost,
Directionless in a world with GPS,
Sundered from self,
Detached from knowing,
Feeling so far from my home within,
I forget how good it feels to visit there.
Sometimes I'm in shock because the pain strikes me from behind,
Like when you realise you've forgotten something and it's too late to go back for it.
Sometimes my trauma lies in the past but the fear of it trembles in my body today.
I try to stay very still,
Almost invisible,
Hoping my trauma will leave because it can no longer find me.
But this renders me motionless,
Unable to move.
Others cannot understand my pain.
No one seems to care enough to try.
I'm stuck in my own panic and victimhood,
Surrounded by a smog of shame,
Confusion and grief.
I can feel like an obscure shape nobody has a name for,
Like a word nobody can remember.
I am stuck on the tip of tongues,
Trapped within the amnesic blankness that coats forgetful minds.
I too can feel misunderstood,
Frightened and overwhelmed,
But here,
In this place,
You are safe.
In this place where it is just you and me,
This place where your thoughts are set free,
This place where nobody is hurting you,
This place that is so safe,
There is nothing that needs your control.
Where we are now,
You are safe.
Where all you can hear is love from me to you.
Where each word has been written to soothe you.
Where time has been taken to let you know that you are special,
Cared for and loved.
In this moment,
You are safe.
Where all that has come before is forgotten,
And all that will come after hasn't happened.
In this moment,
Absent of exterior pressure,
No one can subtract from your wholeness.
For in this moment,
Presence is swaddling you in tranquility,
In peace of mind,
In the knowing that nothing,
Nothing can hurt you here,
For in this place,
You are safe.
In your breath,
You are safe.
You are safe as it washes in and pours out.
You are safe as it centers your heart like a swinging hammock coming to rest.
You are safe as it takes you underwater,
Where sounds are softened and the only audible whisper is the ocean as it shuffles the sea floor.
You are safe here with me.
You have no problem to solve,
No person to please,
Nothing to do.
This space is yours,
It was made for you and will give you all that you need.
No one can judge you here,
You are safe in this place where you are not alone,
Because here your search for happiness connects you to every living thing.
This place will look after you like a hand that cools your fever with a damp iced towel or one that comforts you by cradling your cheek.
Here nature heals you with breeze and with sunlight,
With water that washes away all that clings to you,
A letting go that leaves you feeling lighter,
Liberated,
Free.
This safe place is a soft bed of marshmallows for you to lay down in,
Where tasty sugar dust floats around you,
This place is a treat for your worried heart.
Here without effort you can be yourself,
Here your mind is as calm as unrippled water.
Just for these few moments,
At the very least today,
In these few moments you are safe.
You do not need to be brave,
You do not need for anything,
You are full from the feast of knowing that there is nothing to fear.
Let these words embrace you,
Let them be enough for you,
Let them build whatever castle moat four walls you need to feel secure,
Protected and at ease.
Let this moment hold you like a mother holds a child,
Supported underneath head,
Looked over for life.
This safe place is as endless as your capacity for love.
This safe place exists within you,
You carry it with you as you move,
It's in your chest,
Just to the left,
Inside the thing that gives you life.
It is the home whose door is always open to you,
The place you have a permanent bed to rest in.
No matter how late in the night you arrive,
There is never any notice needed.
You are forever welcome here.
I too am a warrior of life.
I too continue to step forward in the face of fear.
I too overcome life's most difficult hurdles.
I too juggle ball after ball of responsibility.
I too wake up each morning and do my best but I too need to,
Just sometimes I need to feel safe.
I need to feel as if the world I am a part of has my back.
I need to feel like if I fail I have still achieved in trying.
I need to begin from a place of faith that I am always safe because I always have a safe place to come back to.
My serenity,
The place I cultivate in my heart that I belong to,
That centers me,
Inspires me,
Accepts me and says everything is alright.
Everything is alright.
