How To Process And Release Heavy Emotions

Heavy emotions cause our minds to spin and fog our perception of reality. They can cloud our judgement of ourselves, others and the world and make our daily lives clunky and challenging. I speak to the nature of emotion, how to meet it with courage and compassion and connect to empty, peace within. Not mentioned in this talk but a very important step for balancing intense emotions is to cleanse your liver - I follow the Medical Medium morning cleanse, heavy metal detox cleanse and 3:6:9 cleanse as the safest, most powerful options (simply google them or get the affordable book "Cleanse To Heal"). A calm liver is a calm mind and emotional state. This is a LIVE talk recording :)

Transcript

Let's drop in together.

So allow yourself to gently close your eyes.

Take a nice deep breath in through the nose.

Hold and sigh.

Good.

Take a nice deep breath in again.

Hold and sigh.

And one more full breath in.

Hold and sigh.

Place your hands on your body,

Your chest,

Your belly.

Soften through your forehead,

Your heart,

Your shoulders.

Allow yourself to feel rooted and grounded in the earth beneath you and the support around you with everyone here together.

Allow yourself to receive what serves you.

Allow yourself to contemplate,

To wonder,

And to remain curious.

Take a breath into your belly and breathe out.

Good.

Alright,

Gently opening up the eyes.

Hello Kurt and Lani,

So nice to have you here.

Hello Sadi.

Okay,

So coming into heavy emotions,

I did have a piece that I kind of channeled and wrote down just after New Year's for this and I gave it a quick look but the universe gifted me,

Let's say,

With a lot of heavy emotions and things this past week from endings in my life and it's been difficult.

I spent a lot of time in bed and a lot of time alone and processing and also talking to people.

So from that experience,

I feel like it's deepened what I have to say to you here today and I also feel like that there's many different components and avenues to this.

So I'd like you to think about your own personal experience and think about which stuff that I'm talking about may relate most to your own experience and then in your present moment,

Knowing you can take that and see what resonates and what you could do moving forward for yourself or not do.

So yeah,

So coming into heavy emotions,

I just want to base it on this.

I've contemplated many times,

Like why do we have these?

Why is this such a big issue?

Why do we feel so lost in this realm,

In myself included,

Right?

Like all of us together and I just want to preface it by saying that I think it's pretty clear to me through my contemplations that it's because of our conditioning in our society.

We simply do not live in a society where emotions are shared,

Right?

Like if you were lucky enough to be around a family where that was welcomed,

Then that would be really amazing for your mental health,

Your sense of self,

Your spiritual evolution,

Your feeling of at-homeness in your body,

You know,

All these things.

But for many of us,

That's not the truth.

We have to understand that when it comes to heavy emotions,

It is not something that we can quickly,

Just automatically begin to reverse,

Usually,

Right?

Like this is a little bit of a process because for our whole lives,

Majority of us,

Including myself,

We haven't felt safe to express our emotions from a young child.

We've been told to be quiet or,

You know,

Like don't show that,

Put on a happy face,

You know,

Make sure you look good for the world outside,

You know,

These sorts of things.

And it gets really deeply ingrained.

So I just want us to acknowledge that the ground that we're standing on here is one that does not really hold space for emotional release and the feeling of energy and flow within the body and the mind,

Which actually wants to happen on a very kind of fundamental,

Just natural level of our human existence is energy wants to move and energy wants to flow.

But from a young age,

We have been blocked for one reason or another by thinking that the expression of this,

Whether it's through crying or screaming or words or anger or whatever it is,

That that is going to be a block to our love.

That's going to be a block to our love.

We're not able to receive love,

Affection and acceptance and validation if we go down that path of expressing how we actually feel.

So it can be subconscious and to you guys here,

It's definitely in your conscious awareness.

So congratulations for that,

That you know that you have heavy emotions and you have something that needs to be moved.

And you've probably bit by bit,

Including myself,

My whole life been like,

Oh,

Yeah,

I feel a little off,

But whatever,

You know,

Push through next,

Let the mind lead the way.

And so understanding that this is really deep in our conditioning and how we've been brought up to suppress emotion.

Okay.

Is it healthy?

No.

Is it for our highest?

No,

Not at all.

But we're in the process of digging our way out of this.

So know that you're not alone.

Know that many other people also struggle with the vulnerability of their emotions and how to express it or even what to do with it.

And,

You know,

Not having the tools,

Not being given the resources for what this actually means,

What these feelings are,

You know,

How to navigate them,

How to not personalize it,

How to understand its wisdom and its gifts,

All that sort of stuff.

I had to figure out from scratch and maybe you had to as well,

Because our,

You know,

We are,

You know,

Products of this system that did not teach us.

So it's left us in the dark and being left in the dark with the most,

I'd say,

Powerful and potent aspects of our lives,

Which is our energy,

Can feel incredibly isolating,

Right?

When there's been so much emphasis on the physical,

On achievement,

On what you're doing next,

You know,

What your life looks like,

What you look like,

All this superficial stuff,

You know,

That is really like not highly energized and is just like a small fraction of life.

Being told so much about that,

So many talks about that,

Emphasis on that,

Everything throughout the society,

It causes us to hyper focus on that and completely ignore a lot of our own power and feeling and value and worth and fulfillment comes within life,

Which is within our energy,

And then the external stuff can become,

Can come after that.

So now we're left in this place,

Right,

Where we're sitting with heavy emotions and maybe it's a heavy emotion from something that you've been carrying for your entire life,

You know,

Maybe it's a feeling that is almost like a comfort zone to you because you're like,

Oh,

I'm just used to feeling this way.

I'm used to feeling a little off,

A little anxious,

A little insecure,

A little,

You know,

Whatever it is from some sort of,

You know,

Unexpressed thing from when you're really young,

Okay?

So we have the deep-rooted heavy emotions,

So I'll speak to that one first.

So these really deep-rooted heavy emotions that sink within us,

They are energy that has literally just become trapped within our auric fields and with your energy fields,

And I know this because of my training in energy healing.

So basically,

You can actually have,

Like,

When something,

So this is what happens,

Life wants to move through you,

Okay?

So if something painful happens,

You know,

Like a baby,

They hold nothing back,

Right?

And most kids,

Before they've been conditioned to hold stuff in,

They will let it out.

So if they feel angry,

They will express their anger.

If they feel sad,

They'll start crying,

And they're doing that because they're in alignment with the flow of life.

The flow of life just wants that energy to keep flowing.

It comes up,

It flows,

It comes up,

It flows,

It comes up,

It flows,

And they don't have the mental block yet to stop that from happening.

And so that happening cleanses them,

Clears them,

And keeps life moving.

It keeps life flowing downstream,

Right?

Which allows them to be super available and open and connected to joy.

So that's why it's easy for them to access joy and lightness and love,

And they have this unconditional love for everyone because they're not holding any resentment because every single emotion has moved through,

Right?

To some degree.

So that's kind of living with the heart wide open,

You know?

So it's kind of like this space where we want to get back to that,

But it's not just going to be a flick of the switch,

It's going to be a bit by bit process.

So when we are sitting in this place now,

Where we have spent many years,

Probably decades,

Blocking our emotions,

What happens is this.

So like,

Maybe you watch a movie or a video and something like traumatizing happens in the movie or video that you're watching or TV show,

And you don't cry about it,

Or you don't process it in that moment,

That becomes trapped in your body.

Like that feeling gets trapped in your energetic field.

And it can be like,

You know,

Small or size of a cantaloupe or size of a baseball,

And it's like,

You can't see it,

But it's in your energetic auric field that gets trapped there.

And if you have a tough conversation or something really,

You know,

Really difficult and challenging happens in your life,

And you don't process those emotions,

You don't let them feel,

You don't let them flow,

It gets trapped within your auric field,

It gets trapped within your body.

So what can happen over many,

Many years,

Which would happen to me too,

Before I started my practices,

Is you're like sitting in this place where you have like tons of trapped emotional energy all over your auric field.

And if you have a lot of trapped emotional energy,

Like such as a certain,

You know,

A certain emotion that you keep getting trapped,

Such as anger,

Anger,

Anger,

And you have a lot of anger all over your,

You know,

Auric field trapped in there,

It's really easy for you to become angry.

Like you can be really irritable because all those energetic fields get easily,

They're sensitive,

Right?

They're sensitive and you can easily get triggered again.

Or sadness or depression.

And so then we get stuck in these very similar emotional patterns where we're like,

When things get hard,

My go-to is anger,

You know,

Depression,

Sadness,

Insecurity,

Overwhelm,

Right?

Because those are things that are trapped within our system.

So it's a little bit of an insight,

But basically you don't have to get too wrapped up in thinking,

Oh gosh,

I have like a zillion things I didn't process in my whole life.

Like yes,

We all do,

Right?

And it's going to be,

It's not like you have to be fully healed and have your fully energetic field completely full and cleansed to actually be able to enjoy life and to live in your highest and live your dreams.

That's not,

You know,

You don't have to be this blank slate because life will continuously come and more things will get blocked and more things will release,

Right?

As we go.

So,

But what can happen here is like,

If you've started to first clue in like,

Oh gosh,

I have a lot of stuff trapped.

Like I'm feeling really heavy and really stuck.

Like maybe you're at the beginning of your initiation into there has to be more than just this physical experience,

This time,

Space,

You know,

Locus that we're in,

This physical body,

The achievements,

The external,

The material,

The consumerism,

Like that,

That,

That,

That,

That all the things that are so flashy and highlighted and focused on within this world.

If you've come to a place where you're like,

Hey,

There has to be more than this because you're feeling super shit about all of that.

And you're like,

Okay,

Life,

There has to be more than just this.

Like that,

That's not going to be where I get my happiness and my joy from because I've tried so hard my whole life and it's not happening.

Then you're stuck with this really heavy feeling within yourself.

And you're stuck with a lot of these heavy emotions and layers and memories and things that just have not been processed,

Which is nothing for you to feel bad about.

Literally you have to feel safe to experience and process emotional energy.

Safety is number one.

If you don't feel safe within the people you're around or your living environment,

Or you haven't created safety just with your own self,

Like even just being by yourself,

You can't have the expectation that your body's going to be able to release and your nervous system's going to be able to release.

So what happens basically,

First of all,

At least for me and my experience is when I first started to go through this experience of,

Okay,

There has to be more to life because there's just too much suffering in the day-to-day,

Kind of mundane surface level,

Situation that was causing me a lot of anxiety and overwhelm.

And I had so much trapped emotion in me.

I hadn't cried in so long,

Even though I had so many,

So many challenging things happen.

I just never cried.

I was just like a stone because I never felt safe and I just kept it all within myself.

So in my experience,

The first thing and the first step that is to be done for these really deep,

Heavy emotions that have been held for many,

Many decades or a lot of your life is to create safety.

And to do that is not just a flick of the switch process likely either,

Especially if you've been running on fight or flight your whole life,

Like I was previously before,

Like really busy and really like,

Oh,

Like this,

You just can't relax.

The number one is being able to relax.

The number one is being able to connect to your physical body.

So allow your mind to let go of expectations that like these deep rooted,

Right,

Emotions and heaviness that you've been carrying around.

If that's true,

Like,

Right,

If this resonates with you,

I'm speaking to this one first,

Like if that resonates with you and you're sitting on that,

Let your mind release any expectations that this is going to be a quick process and it's going to be,

You know,

Just,

You know,

Do a few things and I'm going to be released vibe.

It's going to be a journey and every step you do is going to relieve you more and more.

And that's the most beautiful thing is you get to be a part of that process.

It wouldn't be as satisfying if you were able to just flick a switch and have it be done.

It's satisfying when you're able to like take those small steps bit by bit into creating safety within your life.

So how you can do that is you want to start with yourself,

Right?

Like,

Like myself before it's like,

Okay,

Expressing emotions to other people,

Like that's way too much.

I couldn't even sit on my own and cry by myself.

Like even when I was alone,

I was still tense.

You know,

I was still holding back.

I was still watching myself.

I was still,

You know,

Hyper-focused on all these things,

Whether that relates with you or not.

It's about being able to find that within yourself first.

So how you can do that,

You could,

You know,

Meditating is a really beautiful way because it gives your body the deepest form of rest.

And by entering the deepest form of rest,

Especially if you use a mantra that connects you to stillness and silence,

And that's its main purpose,

That's what I use,

That's what I practice.

It allows your body and your nervous system to know that it's safe.

And when it's safe,

Then your body naturally,

Effortlessly,

I want you to hear this naturally and effortlessly will release.

This is not something that you try for.

This is not something that you make happen.

You know,

You feel it coming through as your body releases.

And as you feel the nudge in your body of releasing emotion,

You work with your mind.

You co-create that release by saying,

This is important.

I'm going to prioritize this.

Let myself cry.

Let myself shake.

Let myself grunt,

You know,

Scream or talk to someone or whatever I need to.

When you feel that impulse come up,

It's working with the mind to prioritize that.

And that may be one of the biggest blocks is our value system that we've been,

You know,

Taken,

That we've been given doesn't value the feeling and the releasing and the sharing of emotions and energy and relationship and all that sort of thing in its value system,

Which is where we feel the most fulfilled.

We know our sense of worth,

All that sort of thing.

So it's like a shift in perspective that's needed to,

And a shift in philosophy around like understanding how powerful this energy is within you,

Because the emotions that are within you is energy and emotion is energy in motion,

Emotion,

Energy and motion.

Energy,

As you probably know,

Is the most powerful and it is the base of everything.

So when you shift the energy,

Everything shifts on top of that.

The physical,

How you speak,

How you show up,

How you think,

The choices you make,

Everything comes from the energetics.

So when you come into addressing and healing your emotions,

You literally are meeting the root of your power.

You're literally in your power.

Okay,

So these heavy emotions that take years to build,

That are that are really deep,

Focus on creating safety and relaxing the body.

Meditation,

Baths with candles,

Showering in candlelight.

Take a shower and light a candle while you're in the shower,

Like one that's near the shower so you can still see.

But like give yourself opportunity to start to enter a little bit of darkness where you're not stimulated by fluorescent lights and the sunshine all the time in this wakefulness.

Let yourself come into slowly this kind of peaceful,

Darker atmosphere where your nervous system can relax and you can start to feel more inward into yourself.

And it's really beautiful to do those sorts of things.

So relaxing your nervous system,

Okay,

Creating safety.

And if you don't feel safe in your living environment,

If you have a car,

You can drive off in your car and give yourself space to breathe and to and to hold space to be and to just sit there and breathe and whatever comes up,

Let yourself feel it or let yourself think about it.

Even just thinking about it is giving yourself space,

Right?

Or walk out into nature,

Deep into the forest is one of the best things you can do.

And let yourself be held by the unconditional loving energy and purity of the earth.

Okay,

So that's creating safety.

And then a few other things that you can do if you're feeling that really deep,

Heavy,

Like,

You know,

Stuff that's been there for a while is it's very,

Very powerful to get support if that's available and accessible to you.

Energy healing,

I would not even be where I am in my life without energy healing.

And I do it on myself,

Because I got certified,

I thought I was going to help other people.

And then I realized,

Nope,

It's just for me,

Like,

I need this.

So energy healing can get right to the root of releasing those trapped emotions.

That's at least the type that I do,

The emotion code by Dr.

Bradley Nelson.

So that's what it's focused on.

But lots of other energy healings are focused on different things.

Yeah,

Thanks for the hearts loves.

So whatever you're drawn to,

Or working with somebody to hold space with you going into deep meditation or accessing deeper layers of your subconscious.

So you have to understand another piece of this is not something you're going to do on your own all the way through,

You know,

You can,

But it's going to be a lot harder.

Like life is a lot easier when we're together and we do it together.

So let yourself be open to that opportunity in that space,

Even if it's just a little inch,

Or even it's even if it's just opening up to someone you trust,

Like just a friend or something that you really trust,

Like just a little bit more,

Like even just starting dialogue or conversation.

Okay.

I heard this quote,

And I'm forgetting who said it.

But it was they said that repression is relieved by expression,

Right?

Repression is relieved by expression.

So the repression of emotions and the things that make you feel heavy and stuck and disconnected from joy and yourself and clarity within your life.

Expression is how that is relieved.

So if there's anything you take away,

Take away that,

That expression,

You know,

Feeling it,

Crying,

That's a deep,

You know,

Cleanse and purge of your body to cry.

Like washing yourself in this like,

Sacred water of healing,

And it's so rejuvenating or to hyperventilate like that comes with it.

And that all of that it is literally the intelligence of your body releasing its stress and its trapped emotional energy,

Because it knows how to do it.

And when you let it when you let the mind work with it and hold it high in your value and your importance in your system,

Then it gives you that the mind will let go because it's like,

Hey,

This is really important.

I need to hold space for myself to release all of this.

Okay,

So when that comes through,

When it comes up,

Let yourself feel okay.

So that's what I'll say about the heavy emotions a little bit there.

When you have emotions come up.

So say you've done a lot of that or even just in your daily life,

You have something within the moment like,

Oh,

Something comes up and I feel sad.

Let yourself breathe and hold space for that sadness.

Let it hold,

Hold,

Hold.

Let me tell you,

Like even today,

My mind,

I had something uncomfortable.

My mind was like,

Okay,

Phone,

Like app,

App,

App,

App,

App,

Whoa,

I'm trying to not feel I noticed it,

Put my phone down and sat,

Sat with it,

Sat with it.

And then you feel it,

You feel it,

Maybe it comes through as deep breaths or some crying or a little bit of shaking or something,

And then it moves,

Right?

So that's happening.

You have to understand your body's doing that on its own.

If the intelligence of your body is doing it on its own.

So prioritize things like even voice vocal,

Like,

Like making noise,

Like see that so like deep,

Like,

Like pulling it up from your belly,

From your chest,

Like making those really like primal noises releases that trapped energy within the body,

Right?

It's not just energy healing that does,

Even though it does,

But there's other ways you can do it,

Right?

It also like,

It calms down the brain.

I don't know the science behind it,

But there is something there about doing the very primal noises and exhales and letting yourself flow with that energy and breath.

Let yourself move,

Shake.

If you feel like,

You know,

You have something trapped,

Shaking your hips is super important because a lot of it is trapped in the hips.

So shaking and as you shake,

You can start to feel like breath,

Emotion,

Giving yourself space to move that,

Right?

So prioritize that singing is a powerful way.

Anything that,

You know,

You know,

Releases or your vagus nerve too is a very beautiful way to relax the body and the nervous system,

Give you space to feel more,

Um,

Expression,

Right?

Talk,

Talk to,

If you don't have anyone to talk to,

Talk into the voice note in your phone,

The voice note app,

Talk endless,

You know,

Just talk as long as you want and go back and listen to it after.

I kid you not,

That has been one of my biggest places of self-awareness,

Emotional release,

Emotional understanding and wisdom I've learned over the years is listening to my own voice notes.

And it's because I've had friends I can share it with,

But you don't always have to do that.

I've done it into my phone on its own too.

And you listening back to it gives you that very like beautiful third person,

Like kind of perspective on the whole thing where you're able to not get too wrapped up in it because it's you expressing it,

But you can hear yourself and it gives you so much perspective on like,

This is not just the only thing that's happening.

So expressing it,

Um,

Free writing in your journal,

Like just train of thought writing.

That's one of the number one ways and the first ways I ever access my emotions,

My mind and my consciousness was just journaling,

Journaling,

No,

No topic,

No purpose,

Nothing.

There's no structure.

You just open it and you're like,

Whatever starts coming to your mind,

Whatever thought is right through right there,

Whatever it is,

Just write it down.

Doesn't matter what it is.

Next thought,

Jump all over the place.

Doesn't matter.

That is releasing energy.

That's releasing emotion.

The minute your pen hits the mat or the journal and you're like,

That's energy moving out of your system onto the paper.

That's a real,

That's an emotional release.

That's an energetic release.

That's an emotional and energetic release in itself.

Expression,

Writing,

Right?

Repression is relieved by expression.

Repression is relieved by expression.

Okay.

So I understand that you're going to likely have self judgment come up if you're just starting this.

And even in the process,

Even now,

Even though I'm years in,

Sometimes you have for sure that intense voice.

It's like,

Oh,

You look so dumb.

What are you doing?

Uh,

You know,

Like something like that.

Simply just witness it.

Okay.

There's that thought.

Cool.

And then you use your,

Your,

Your,

Your spiritual center and your strength within yourself to be like,

No,

This is important.

And I'm going to hold space for myself and kindness.

I'm going to choose that.

And then you start to rewire,

Right?

That experience.

So yeah,

I know that this is flowing through today,

But I'm watching the time here.

I say I have two minutes left.

So I'm just going to say two more things about this,

Um,

That have come through this past week within me feeling really heavy lately is sometimes I feel like I'm still kind of thick of feeling this,

But I'm going to express it to you that I feel like sometimes you'll know intuitively when you actually just need to rest.

Like maybe your body is just really,

Really craving rest.

And that rest and safety will be number one before you'll feel anything to be able to move it.

Okay.

So maybe you do need some weeks in bed,

Things like that.

But when you do that,

Stay connected to your spiritual practices.

So although you're giving your body and your emotions,

The rest that it needs,

That staying connected to your spiritual practices and high vibrational content and doing things like walking out into nature every once in a while,

We'll keep that mind from spiraling.

So you don't want to spiral into,

You know,

Never being able to get out of bed and your heavy emotions.

If you're there,

That's okay.

That's okay.

Right?

That's okay.

That's where you are.

But just being here.

Perfect.

Perfect.

This is a perfect way to raise your vibe.

Getting on insight timer with like-minded people.

Give yourself that space.

The last,

And you'll know intuitively,

You'll know,

Like you are way more wise than you give yourself credit for it.

You are way more intuitive than,

You know,

When you start to have a feeling that maybe this is like too much and I need to start doing stuff again or get out again.

Give yourself that little nudge just to do a little bit,

Bit by bit,

Just a little bit,

Little step,

You know,

An hour a day.

Okay,

Next,

You know,

But if you feel like,

Oh,

I do really need that rest,

Give yourself that rest and remove the shame around it because your body is that space of deep healing and it's wisdom.

Okay?

Last thing I'll say is that your emotions and what you're feeling is literally the key to your realizations,

Your lessons,

And the transformations of your life.

Like these past week when I felt so much and been such in the thick of it,

Even just laying there,

Letting myself think,

Let yourself think about one thing.

Let yourself run through memories in your head in a healthy way.

Right?

Not like if you're spiraling into a way like,

Oh,

This is so bad and life sucks and oh my gosh,

Like give yourself some high vibrational spiritual content to come back up out of that.

But if you're just thinking about life and you know,

These emotions and what you're feeling,

You're just in it and you're witnessing the whole thing.

That is so healthy.

Like I've noticed within my own life,

I'm starting to feel like that there's,

You know,

There's a deep purpose to that because a lot of insight comes through and a lot of like lessons come through and things come through when you give yourself space to actually just think about something and contemplate it.

Yeah.

What I mean by that is contemplation.

That's what's healthy is contemplation.

Contemplation.

That's the right word for it.

So if you're contemplating it and kind of feeling it and you know,

That's where you're taking the pause in your life to make different choices,

Different actions going forward when you start to feel a little bit stronger when the time is right.

So hold space for yourself.

Know that this is so valuable and such a valuable part of your experience in your life is your emotions.

It's where your power is.

There's nothing wrong with it.

It's life moving through you and it's the experiences moving through you and your body already knows how,

How to release,

How to feel,

How to receive the gifts of it.

And you can connect deeper to people in your life around you.

When you acknowledge this and give yourself bit by bit moments of being seen in these experiences,

Then the value comes into life because your relationships deepen and you can give back and forth to each other,

Helping each other feel heard and seen and understood,

Offering bits of wisdom or just holding space and a hug.

And then you'll start to feel like,

Wow,

It's already here.

It's all already here.

All your value,

All your worth,

All your connection,

All your fulfillment's already there.

Just bit by bit,

Allowing yourself to be seen bit by bit,

Creating safety,

Feeling into your body,

Letting the emotions flow.

It's all temporary.

Okay.

Your spiritual self is witnessing it all.

It's free.