Letting Go Of People Pleasing

Enjoy a moment to get curious about the ways you try and please others. From here, you'll feel ready to entertain the idea that actually, you're safe, loveable and enough just as you are. What would your life look and feel like if you dared to live from this bold place? Come and find out!

Transcript

A warm welcome to you.

My name is Fleur Chambers and it's my pleasure to spend this time with you.

Today's practice is an opportunity to reflect upon the ways you put the needs of others before your own.

It's an invitation to get curious and to open to the idea that you're enough.

You're lovable and safe even when you say no to others and take care of yourself and your own needs.

So please,

Settling into a comfortable position,

Closing down your eyes if you like,

Beginning your practice today with three deep and intentional breaths.

Each breath sending a message to your nervous system that it's okay to pause.

To relax,

To open.

Awareness landing on the movement of your body as you breathe.

Chest rising and falling.

Belly expanding and contracting.

Arriving a little deeper with each breath.

Softening the space above your eyes.

Allowing a gentle space between your upper and lower teeth.

Jaw relaxed.

Tongue,

Teeth,

Gums soft.

Lying on the ground.

Long smooth inhale and on the exhale inviting your shoulders to melt down your back like a block of ice left out on a summer's day.

Chest naturally opening as your shoulders drop.

Ready to greet this moment with a sense of gentle curiosity.

Long smooth inhale into your stomach.

And on the exhale letting go of any worries,

Distractions,

Or concerns that were resting here.

Another long smooth inhale and on the exhale allowing your body to rest a little heavier on the surface that supports you.

Really sensing into the earth's support.

Finding comfort in the knowing that the more you let go,

The more the ground rises up to meet you.

Deep breath into this idea of being held.

From this safe space you've created,

Let's explore your unique people-pleasing habits.

Bringing to mind a time when you said yes to something,

When deep down you wanted to say no.

Trusting that whatever moment comes to mind,

You will always be there for it.

Trusting that whatever moment comes to mind is just right.

Spending a moment bringing the details to mind.

Who was there?

What exactly were you doing?

How did it feel in your body to say yes when you really wanted to say no?

How did it feel in your body to say yes when you really wanted to say no?

Perhaps it felt like a tightness in your stomach,

A heaviness across your chest or shoulders,

An ache in your heart.

How did it feel emotionally to put someone else's needs above your own?

How did it feel emotionally to put someone else's needs above your own?

Light or heavy?

Open or closed?

Deep breath in,

Long smooth exhale,

And getting curious about the stories or beliefs that were present as you made this decision to put someone else's needs above your own.

Perhaps stories like,

I should do this,

It's the right thing to do.

I don't want to disappoint them.

I don't like letting people down.

So and as best you can,

Offering all these stories your tender breath,

Your warm-hearted awareness,

Your imagining each of these stories as clouds floating by in a perfectly blue summer sky.

Resting in the space between the clouds.

Resting in the space between these ideas about what you need to do or be in order to be accepted or liked.

Long smooth exhale,

Long smooth inhale,

Long smooth exhale,

Long smooth exhale,

And opening your awareness now to other times you've been afraid to disappoint.

Times you've chosen to ignore your own needs so as to make someone else happy.

So as best you can,

Getting curious about where these habits might come from.

Perhaps imagining yourself as a child eager to do the right thing,

To be a good son or daughter,

To be kind or caring.

Maybe remembering a time when you wanted to please your parents so you didn't speak up or ask for what you really wanted.

Really trusting in whatever image or memory emerges for you.

Breathing into this image,

Allowing it to breathe into you.

Breathing into this image,

Allowing it to provide you with insight and understanding.

Noticing where you feel this memory in your body.

Breathing into any sensations or emotions that are here for you.

Each breath acting like a soothing balm for the younger and tender parts of you.

And offering this younger version of you a smile.

A smile that says you're okay,

You're lovable,

It's safe to be who you are.

Maybe in your mind's eye this younger version of you smiles back.

Resting in the gentle healing energy of this shared smile.

This moment of connection.

As you rest here in the rhythm of your breath,

In the wisdom of your body,

In the safety of this moment,

You realise that you are enough.

You realise that it's safe to attend to your own needs,

Safe to take care of yourself.

People will still love you,

Respect you,

Include you,

Even if sometimes you say no.

You.

Repeating silently in your mind after me.

I don't need to please everyone in order to be safe.

It's okay for me to attend to my own needs.

I am enough.

Really breathing life into these words,

Allowing them to land on your nervous system.

To create a new baseline of safety and enoughness within you.

How does it feel in your body?

How does it feel in your body?

How does it feel in your heart?

And noticing what opens up.

What is possible for you when you believe that you are enough.

That you are safe to be who you really are.

How does this version of you move through their days?

How does this version of you interact with those you love?

How does this version of you interact with those you love?

Breathing deep into this sense of possibility.

Really allowing this energy to build within you.

Teaching your body,

Mind and heart a new way of being.

Moment by moment we release the grip of people pleasing.

Breath by breath we remember that we are already enough.

That we are safe to be exactly as we are.

And so from here what is one small thing you can do today or tomorrow to honour your own needs and foster this sense of enoughness.

Sealing this commitment with one deep and intentional breath.

Offering your body some gentle movement.

Opening your eyes to the space you're in.

May you move through your days with a greater sense of your own worthiness and needs.

And may this help you let go of the need to please everyone.

Reviews

A gentle awakening to what I needed to confirm ... that it is SAFE to be who I am.

This was so sweet and emotional at the same time 💜 It even made me emotional.
Thank you 🙌🏾🙏🏽

💖this was tremendously beneficial for me; so gently powerful, timely and beautiful; thank you💖

Always calming. Always thought provoking. Not only learning to say no but learning to be consistent with who you are in your interactions with others. 🌺

An affirming practice and reminder to listen to my own needs to be able to give more fully, without depleting myself.

🙏 thank you…you always help me to ground myself and center myself when I get lost. ❤️

Just what I needed to hear. I’m so tired of trying to be someone that I am not just to please others. It’s time to be ME again

This was wonderful and so clarifying. Thank you. Will do this again ✨

Beautifully done. I learned so much. Thanks for posting 😊🙏🏻

Just what I needed to hear to help me continue to grow and heal… 🥰

Perfect!!!

Lovely thank you!

This is so powerful. You have helped me see things and feel like never before. I will certainly share and repeat this meditation ❤️

Thank you from my heart for your thoughtful, well put together meditation. I feel grateful for having used your talks a long time now. 🙏

Thanks Fleur, that really hit home!🙂

I loved this
It touched my heart that I am enough

Fleur — that is just right and exactly what I needed.

Fleur, this is a wonderful message. Thank you so much. I am looking forward to meditating with you again. Be safe and well 🙏🙏

Wonderful. This meditation really speaks to me. Thank you.

Lovely. Fleur is one of my favorite teachers