"Ouch My Tummy Hurts": Early Signs Of Anxiety

Does your child complain of a tummy ache, headache, feeling sick, or not feeling quite right—especially before school, activities, or other moments? In this episode, we’ll explore some of the early ways anxiety can show up in a child’s body. Anxiety isn’t just something we think or feel—it can create very real physical sensations that can be confusing or uncomfortable for children. We’ll look at how parents and caregivers can notice these early signals, respond with compassion, and help children understand what their body might be communicating without dismissing their physical experience.

Transcript

Hello, And welcome back to this mini podcast series. My name is Emily Miller, And I work as a registered psychotherapist who works closely with kids, Teens, And their caregivers. Today, I'm answering another common question from parents, And the question is, Why does my child always seem to get a stomach ache before school? And maybe this happens on a Sunday night. Maybe it's just before getting on the bus. Maybe you've gotten them all the way to the school entry and there's this stomachache as soon as you pull in the parking lot at school. Maybe your child complains of a headache, Nausea, Dizziness, Or says that they just don't feel well. As a parent, This can really feel confusing. You want to take their discomfort seriously. You don't want to dismiss something that might be medical. Of course. But you may also notice a pattern. The symptoms show up before school. Or before a presentation, Or before a soccer practice, Maybe before a sleepover, Or before a birthday party. Maybe it's before something that feels hard. The truth is that this Could be anxiety. The truth is that anxiety doesn't just live in our thoughts, It lives in our bodies too. And one of the first markers for kids can be a sore stomach, Can be the complaint of a headache. In fact, Many kids experience anxiety physically long before they can identify it emotionally. As I say, Their stomach feels tight, Their heart beats faster. Their chest feels funny, Their muscles tense up, I might even hear about like a frog in the throat sometimes. Or their appetite disappears. And because kids don't always have the words to say. Something like I'm feeling anxious about today, They might simply say, My tummy hurts. And the tummy ache is real. The discomfort is very real. The question becomes though, How do we respond? So before trying to figure out whether the symptom is quote unquote real or just anxiety, Start by connecting. Instead of, You're fine, You're just nervous. Try this, Your tummy seems really uncomfortable this morning, Or. I wonder if your body is telling us that today feels a little hard. We're helping our child feel understood and not dismissed. We're connecting to what's happening for them. And now comes acceptance. Sometimes parents accidentally end up kind of trying to fight the feeling and trying to convince their child they shouldn't feel nervous. Instead, I invite you to. . . Approach it with something like this. It's okay to have nervous feelings in your body. Or lots of people notice butterflies before something important. Or Your body is working really hard right now. Acceptance doesn't make anxiety bigger, But it helps remove the struggle against it, If that makes sense. And then. The next step, This is where parents often face the hardest decision. When a child says that their stomach hurts, Our instinct might be to remove the challenge, Right? So that could mean like staying home, Skipping the activity, Avoiding the discomfort altogether. Sometimes this is absolutely appropriate, But when anxiety is the driver. . . Avoiding every uncomfortable feeling can teach anxiety. You were right. The situation was too dangerous to handle. So instead, As parents and caregivers, We can gently lead. And it sounds like this, I know your tummy feels uncomfortable, And I know you've handled this feeling before. Let's take the next step together. And notice that we're not demanding confidence. There's no demanding here. Borrowing confidence for them until they can find their own. Okay, So we are vocalizing our confidence in them. And then we move to modeling, Because children watch how we respond to discomfort, Right? If we panic every time they feel anxious, They learn that anxiety is something to fear and it gets reinforced. If we stay calm, They learn that anxiety is something we can move through. So you might model it this way by saying like, Sometimes before I do something important, I notice butterflies too. I don't love the feeling, But I know I can handle it. And that's a really powerful lesson. So ultimately, The goal isn't to raise a child who never feels nervous. Of course not. The goal is to raise a support a child who can learn my body can feel uncomfortable and I can do hard things. And that lesson is built with one brave step at a time. So if you've ever found yourself wondering whether a stomachache is a stomachache, Is it anxiety or a little bit of both, You're not alone. I've got the calm method that was created to help parents navigate moments exactly like this one through four simple audio modules. You'll learn very practical ways to respond to anxiety that strengthen your child's confidence and coping skills over time. Once again, Thanks for being here and thanks for listening.