There are times when I awake in the morning and I feel my worries slowly begin to fill my consciousness and I dawn and clothe myself in my old identity from my past and allow myself to tense and to tighten and to wonder at whether or not I can create the life that I want.
The subtle aching,
The gnawing tension,
It hurts sometimes.
Have you ever held on so tightly to the life that you want?
Have you ever gripped and controlled and fought away the fear that perhaps you may not have what you want,
That you have been forgotten,
That life does not support you,
And that the universe does not love you,
That you are failing,
And that you won't make it?
Sometimes these thoughts come like flooding waves through my body and I find myself unable to quiet the storms of my mind and I'm unwilling to surrender the grip,
The control,
And the adamant rush and onward pursuit of what I want in my life.
It's in these moments that I learn to trust my unfolding and believe that right here,
Right now,
There is something to let go of,
There is something to surrender,
And there is something to surrender to,
And the painful truth is that I don't trust life to support me,
To give me the things that I want.
I don't trust that life knows me,
Knows the desires of my heart,
And so I fight harder,
Stronger,
And unrelentingly so that I don't feel the fear that I am alone in this pursuit.
To all that aches within you,
To all that is unresolved,
To all that is fearful,
I invite you to consider that our very holding and controlling is the resistance to life rearranging itself to serve you and your greater self,
To serve its highest expression through you,
To continue its grand unfolding through you.
That you come from the earth and are made of stars and are here to trust your unfolding.
Here,
Now,
In this moment,
I invite you to release your hold,
To surrender,
And to let go,
Even if just for this time,
And to allow life to touch that which is alone,
That which is fearful,
That which is sore inside you.
Close your eyes now.
Feel your breath.
Touch your nostrils and land in your chest.
Notice the air that is holding you.
Feel the clothes on your skin.
Breathe in the gentle warmth.
And notice the beat of your heart.
Allow yourself to settle.
Allow yourself to be.
Notice tension anywhere in your body.
Notice the back of the neck,
The shoulders,
The jaw,
The lower back.
Notice the parts of your body where you are resisting life.
It's okay to let go.
Know that you are supported by unseen forces and that the universe knows you,
That you came from stardust on a river of possibility into the body that you live in.
What if your life is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to?
What if you are life unfolding?
Fear not.
You are never alone.
Breathe in.
Feel the air fill in your lungs.
Hold.
And let it go.
Breathe in.
Hold the air lovingly in your chest.
And let it go.
Know that you are a part of a grand unfolding.
That just as a wave is something the entire ocean is doing,
So too are you something that the entire universe is doing.
You are not separate.
Notice the earth that you sit on.
Notice how it loves you.
Notice your love for it.
And know that each step you take that you are carried by the ground that you walk on.
Let go.
You are unfolding.
Know that sadness and sorrow,
That frustration,
Even the tension,
The control,
The tightening,
That those too are a part of the unfolding and are a part of the grand story that the universe is writing throughout the tapestry of your life.
What would it be like to trust your unfolding?
To allow life to dance with you through your ups and your downs?
In a story that is potent with wonder and awe,
With grace and surrender.
Knowing that you can still move forward with your goals,
With your dreams,
Without the tightening,
Without the fear.
You can let those go.
Allow the desires of your heart to rest lightly in the palm of your sacred hand.
Release your squeeze on it.
Open.
Open.
And greet yourself.
Breathe in.
Take pleasure in the breath.
And breathe out.
Know that you are home and that life is carrying you.
That you are life.
Welcome home.
