Welcome to this practice,
Learning to love your inner teenager.
It's based on the Internal Family Systems model,
And is intended to help you get to know the teenage part of you a little better,
As well as helping you feel kinder and more warmly towards this part.
These teenage parts can be tricky for us,
Because they can act out in our lives today,
Like they acted out when we were that age.
But even if they cause us problems,
Like all parts,
They need love,
Understanding and compassion,
Not the kind of judgment or frustration you may have experienced as a teenager.
Before we start,
Remember that you can pause this practice whenever you like,
If you need more time with any of the steps.
It's also a good idea to spend a few minutes journaling afterwards,
Making a note of anything you learned and don't want to forget.
So,
Let's move into the practice.
Start by checking in with your posture,
Making sure your feet are flat and grounded on the floor.
Gently roll your shoulders back and let them drop.
Sit in an upright but relaxed posture and close your eyes.
Take some nice deep breaths,
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
Make your breaths as slow,
Deep and steady as possible.
If you get distracted,
It's fine.
Just gently bring your attention back to your body,
Back to the breath,
And keep breathing deeply for 30 seconds.
Then think about a teenager in your life now.
This may be your child,
A niece or nephew,
Grandchild,
Family friend or neighbor.
Picture them in your mind's eye and think about what makes them feel happy,
Safe and calm.
Then think about what makes them feel anxious,
Angry,
Upset,
Lonely,
Hurt or depressed.
This might be tough times in their life,
Like getting bullied at school,
Their parents going through a divorce,
Conflict with a sibling or friend.
And think about why these feelings are especially powerful and overwhelming for them,
As they struggle to cope with the emotional and hormonal maelstrom of teenagehood.
Imagine they were struggling with something in their life and came to you for help one day.
Picture them sitting across from you and think about what you would say to try and explain why this stage of life can be so difficult for us.
Why they might think and act as they do,
Even if that attracts annoyance or criticism from other adults in their life.
And imagine how you would help them feel heard,
Validated,
Safe and loved.
Which words or phrases would you use?
What would your tone of voice be like?
I'm guessing slow,
Warm,
Kind and friendly.
Spend some time imagining having a conversation with this young person.
Now do what you need to finish that up.
Then let go of this image and take a few deep breaths.
Check back in with your posture,
Rolling your shoulders back again and letting them drop.
Keep breathing.
Then bring to mind an image of your teenage self.
You could think about a particular memory that stands out for you.
Perhaps a time when you did something you now regret.
Acting out in some way,
Saying or doing something that makes you wince when you think about it.
Rebelling or behaving badly with your parents,
Teacher or other significant adult in your life.
Think of something that makes you feel a little embarrassed or even ashamed as you look back on that time now.
And picture yourself at that age,
Remembering what kinds of clothes you wore,
What makeup you wore if you were a girl,
How your hair looked in that period of your life.
Imagine teenage you in your mind's eye and get ready to speak with them inside.
And as you picture them,
See if you can bridge from your feelings of compassion for the teenager in your life now to this inner teenager.
Speak to them inside in the same kind,
Reassuring way.
Pay particular attention to your tone of voice,
Which should be warm,
Kind and friendly.
What would you like to say to them about this embarrassing incident?
What do you know now that you didn't know then?
What would you like to say to them,
This version of you,
Who might have been struggling with so much at that time,
Which led to them acting out in some way?
If you get stuck,
You could try letting them know that you understand how hard it was for them at this age.
That even though they might have said or done things they felt bad about,
Everyone makes mistakes,
That's only human.
Also let them know that you forgive them,
Whatever happened,
And are here for them now,
And that you love and care about them,
No matter what,
And will help them think and feel differently about themselves and everything that happened at this age,
Over time.
Then let them respond,
Telling you why they acted as they did,
And,
Hopefully,
That it feels good to be understood by adult you,
Now.
And even if they don't feel that way,
Just listen patiently as they tell you whatever they need to.
Keep talking to them,
Telling them whatever feels right and helpful.
If it's hard to think of anything,
Just keep it simple,
Reassuring them that you get what they're saying,
Are so glad to be speaking with them,
And are here for them,
Whenever they need you.
Then give them a hug,
If that feels good for them,
Or just a warm smile and say goodbye for now.
Do whatever you need to make that feel complete,
And,
In your own time,
Take one last deep breath and open your eyes.
I hope you found that helpful.
Remember that,
Like all the practices I teach you,
There is no right or wrong way to do this.
It's always best to just have a go and see what happens.
Also remember that this is a process,
Not a one-off.
So daily check-ins,
Journaling,
Working with a parts-informed therapist,
All can be helpful for connecting with and helping teenage parts to heal.
Thank you for meditating with me,
And I hope you have a wonderful day.
