Welcome to this guided imagery practice,
Helping your inner child feel safe.
I often use this technique with my clients when they're feeling anxious or stressed about an upcoming event.
I also use it myself on a regular basis,
Especially if I have a challenging meeting coming up or have to teach that day,
Because teaching in front of large groups can make my inner child,
Who I call Little Dan,
Feel anxious.
Being able to soothe and protect this young part of me helps him feel safe and so allows me to teach from a calmer,
More confident place.
Let's start by finding a comfortable sitting posture with your feet flat and feeling grounded on the floor.
Close your eyes if that feels comfortable for you or soften and lower your gaze.
Gently roll your shoulders back and feel your chest open up.
Sit in an upright but relaxed posture.
Now breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth to a slow count of four on the in breath and four on the out breath.
Keep breathing.
It's helpful to breathe from the abdomen,
So you could put a hand on your stomach and see if you can make it rise and fall with each breath.
Keep breathing.
Slow,
Deep and steady.
Now focus on an upcoming event that is a little daunting,
Is making you feel anxious or stressed,
Or that you find yourself worrying about.
You might be imagining this event and either seeing still images or little video clips playing the scene over and over in your mind's eye,
Imagining all the things that could go wrong.
If you're giving a presentation,
You might imagine your mind going blank and having nothing to say.
If it's a tough meeting,
You could be worrying about being criticized or attacked in some way,
Then feeling anxious and upset,
Like you messed it up.
Perhaps you have a big date coming up and your worry apart is fixating on all the ways it could go horribly wrong,
Like spilling your wine all over your date,
Or just seeing their expression looking bored and uninterested as you talk,
Making you feel not good enough or unworthy.
Of course,
Your upcoming challenge may be nothing like these examples.
Because there are so many kinds of experiences that can stress us out,
And especially your inner child,
Who can easily be triggered when you're anticipating experiences like these.
As you focus on your tricky event,
Scan your body and see if there are any sensations linked to feeling anxious or stressed.
You might notice tightness in your chest,
Neck,
Face or shoulders.
There may be a tightness in your gut,
Butterflies,
Or a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
You might be aware of your heart racing,
Feeling hot or a little sweaty in your face and hands.
You may also notice your thoughts racing,
Or focusing obsessively on the event,
Looping round and round in a tense,
Uncomfortable way.
Whatever you're thinking or feeling right now,
First know that it's okay.
It's completely natural and normal to have these uncomfortable thoughts and emotions before doing something challenging.
But also know that these mental and emotional experiences are the way little you is showing up in your mind and body.
These points of discomfort are called trailheads,
Because they're like the start of a path that leads inevitably to a part,
Usually little you,
Who's feeling activated and upset right now.
Try gently placing a hand over your heart,
Or the place in your body where you feel the tension or discomfort.
As you start to feel some warmth under your hand,
Imagine this warmth traveling all the way down into your body until it reaches the scared or stressed little boy or girl inside.
You could also send some warm,
Comforting breaths into that tense,
Tight place in your body.
Feel the breath traveling in through your nostrils,
Passing down your windpipe and into your chest.
Then imagine it continuing all the way to wherever the tension exists in your body or mind.
Also send little you some messages by thinking warm,
Friendly thoughts to let him or her know you feel them.
You're aware they're struggling right now,
And you want to help.
And if it feels natural,
Maybe give them a hug.
And this supportive touch,
Soothing breath,
And the warm messages may be enough for this little person inside.
If so,
You'll feel them relax,
And so feel a sense of relaxation or release in that place in your body or mind.
And if that happens,
That's wonderful.
Just do this every time you have a tough event on the horizon.
But often,
Especially if this part of you is feeling very tense about the upcoming event,
This might take the edge off a little,
But not be enough to help them feel reassured,
Safe,
And calm.
So we now add another level to this practice,
Which is first to imagine a safe place in your mind's eye.
You may already have a safe place that you've created through my teaching,
Or with another teacher,
Especially if you've done any compassion-focused therapy or mindful self-compassion practices.
If so,
That's perfect.
Go ahead and use that.
But if not,
Just imagine somewhere that feels completely safe,
Calm,
And peaceful.
This could be a real place,
Like a beautiful beach you visited on holiday,
Or an imaginary place,
Like an alpine meadow or cozy cabin in the woods.
Generally,
Somewhere in nature works well for your safe place.
So think of some natural setting that feels good for you.
Spend some time exploring this place in your mind,
Using all your senses to make it as vivid and real as possible.
When your safe place has formed in your mind,
Now come back to your scared little part and say to them,
I know you're feeling really frightened right now,
And no wonder,
I know this thing we have to do is scary for you.
But it's okay,
Don't worry,
I'm going to take you to my lovely safe place.
You can stay there for the whole of this event,
So you don't have to deal with any of it.
You can just hang out there,
Feeling calm and safe,
And I'll come and get you when it's all done.
Then imagine scooping them up and gently putting them in your safe place.
If they're very young,
You might need a trusted family member,
Friend,
Or some other kind figure to look after them.
So by all means put them in your safe place too.
Then say,
Okay little one,
So you just hang out here,
I've got this.
Adult me will handle this,
So you don't have to do a thing.
Have another scan of your body and see if the anxiety has reduced,
Even a little.
And whether you notice any feelings of calm,
Relaxation or ease.
If not,
That's completely fine.
But if you do notice any positive feelings,
Just focus on and enjoy them for a few seconds.
And then imagine yourself walking into the event as a tall,
Strong,
Capable adult,
With your scared little part safely tucked up,
So they won't get hurt or upset,
However challenging things might get.
When you're ready,
Come back to focusing on your breath,
The weight of your body resting in the chair,
Sounds reaching you from all around.
Then take one last deep breath and slowly open your eyes.
Now re-engage with the external world,
Carrying these feelings of safety and calmness with you.
Thank you for meditating with me today,
Sending you love and warm thoughts,
Whatever you may be going through right now.
