Today, I Choose Me

After years of searching for external happiness, I've decided to put myself first. This episode is a short reflection on the often painful journey of discovering fulfillment within yourself. Self-fulfillment is attained through solitude, reflection, and self-love.

Transcript

Today on Struck Inside Out.

Today,

I choose me.

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately,

As I'm choosing to be alone for the first time in almost 10 years.

It's freeing this feeling of needing no one but myself,

Of wanting nothing but solitude.

How easy it is to get caught up in someone else,

Their life,

And the possibilities of what you too can create together.

When things don't go according to either of your plans,

You're back at square one,

Where you started,

And soon enough,

You begin the search for someone else to fill the void.

It's this never-ending cycle of always wanting or needing someone by your side,

And to be released from this habituation has offered me many awakenings.

I look back at my past experiences with love,

And I see a girl who I don't recognize anymore,

A girl who craves attention,

Desires intimacy even when followed by emptiness,

Encounters the salacious yet knows depths that run deep,

Struggles to be seen but never truly saw herself,

Repeats cycles that pick her apart and leave her wounded,

Chases after men who don't value or respect her,

Stays in situations far longer than she should,

Disregards her intuition even when it shouts for her attention,

Settles for love that she thinks she deserves,

Wonders if she'll ever find what she's looking for.

I've been all of these girls and more.

I've fallen in love far too many times to count,

And oftentimes,

I was seeing men through the lens of who they could be rather than who they really were.

I've stayed in relationships that I knew from the start were never going to work,

But I was hopeful that maybe one day they would.

I believed in men who,

At my deepest core,

I didn't trust,

Who made me think I was crazy forever assuming that they betrayed me to discover that the voice telling me to run was the voice of truth all along.

I settled even when not treated with respect.

I loved even at my own detriment.

I tried as hard as I could for as long as I possibly could until I couldn't anymore.

I've done all of these things,

And I've been all of these things,

But I've also experienced love that's greeted me with warmth,

Listening,

Understanding,

And the comfort of feeling at home.

But today,

For the first time in a long time,

I'm not choosing anyone else.

I'm not looking to fill any gaps.

I don't need anyone to see me.

I trust in me.

I love me.

I choose me.

Reviews

This meditation really resonated, able to view it from the male perspective.
Soothing, sobering, and impactful.

I really enjoy hearing your beautiful calming voice, and it gives me hope

Thank you so much. I needed to hear this so badly this morning. I will replay this often. I appreciate you and your message. Thank you!!! 😊

Really good. The I struggled to be seen but didn't see myself part, that hit. Thank you

Soothing, powerful and beautifully spoken— opened up my heart and soften my shoulders immediately

Absolutely loved listening to this .. heard so much of myself in this .. incredible insight into who you are and what you deserve.. never settle again for less

I can be a bit particular in my preferences when it comes to spoken meditations. And can I just say, wow. Thank you so much. This is gorgeous. The slowness, taking time between speaking, and the message of course. I am actually in the same boat. Single for the first time in 11 years, and I finally moved out on my own. This independence is glorious. Of course there can be challenges, but I am up for the challenge. I can’t believe I ever downplayed my abilities so much. If you haven’t you should check out Joe Dispenza on women living alone. I am so proud of us. We were always more than able. Just had to give ourselves the chance. Loving me has been the greatest gift.

I completely know where the words come from and I'm so scared that I won't ever be able to get to the point where I can actually choose me and figure out who I am again.

Your story, my story. Many of us have been there. Thank you for your reassurances. 🙏🏻🍁🧡

Thank you.... I recognize myself entirely in the girl you described... this takes away a lot of feelings of guilt and judgement by others. I did what I could... to become me today, a woman who choses herself, choses to be alone and entirely happy with herself

It was excellent thank you you may be looking at another side of things

This is transparency at its finest. I could not have summarize being content with chosing myself any better. All of our situations may be different but I recognized everything you said in my past you relationships with the opposite sex. Including my marriage of 27 years. Honestly, listening to this track is motivating, raw and eye opening to anyone that is in any kind of relationship. Thank for being genuine and true to who you are. My plan in August was to take a year to myself and I am more determined now than ever. I will be sure to listen to this again soon. 🙏🏿

I can relate to this 100%. Today, I needed to hear and repeat this. Today, these decisions are before me and through this, I can remind myself that I have to see my needs...see myself in the decisions I make. Thank you!

🙌🏾🧘🏽‍♀️👍🏾 saved and sealed close to my heart, this is truly a meditation of where I am and where I once was. Thank you! 🙏🏾

I felt as though I wrote it myself. I connected with this in a very true way.

Good morning
I’ve bookmarked this talk and come back to it from time to time, it serves as a reminder to always put myself first. 💛

This is a very deep, powerful, and inspiring personal account. Thank you, Danielle, for sharing it with the world. I'm very happy for you for reaching this state of mind. That is extremely commendable! Best wishes 😊

Truth!

Love ❤️ this! This beautiful piece speaks to me! Thank you! So touching! 💟☮️🦋🌸🌺

Wow, this speaks to me. All of me! Thank you for this beautiful reminder.