Feeling Is Healing - Unbind Emotion From Mental Conditioning

Hi,

Team.

Let's do a little work in the emotional healing side of things.

If you've been on the healing journey,

The therapeutic journey,

You'll know just how intense some of these emotions can be.

So just to give you fair warning ahead of time,

That's the realm that we're going to be delving into today.

Emotional world.

Not that we need to be.

Afraid.

Our own emotions.

All emotions are safe,

All emotions are natural,

All emotions are healthy.

All emotions are innocent.

That's partly what I want to talk about today.

But we also have to respect,

Respect the intensity that emotions can be felt with.

Similarly i sometimes use the metaphor of if you if you were going out to sea sailing or fishing or just swimming,

You respect the ocean because you know just how powerful it can be.

And when the sailing instructor or diving instructor is just.

.

.

Advising you to respect the sea and be cautious with the sea.

They're not trying to frighten you,

To try and put you off going in the sea.

They're just ensuring that you understand the power of what it is that you're going to be going into.

And that tends to be how I see these trigger warnings at the start of videos or talks like this.

And I say that because.

.

.

We wouldn't want to frighten anyone unnecessarily.

A huge part of the healing journey is actually.

.

.

Becoming more comfortable with your own inner emotional world.

It's actually about learning to.

.

.

Be able to feel your emotions fully and recognise that your emotions aren't actually a threat.

They can be uncomfortable and unpleasant.

But with the right practice,

The right techniques,

The right methods,

The right experience.

We find that actually emotions can simply be felt.

And in the early days,

That can almost feel impossible.

It almost feels like too good to be true.

I went through this myself in my own healing journey,

Particularly with rage,

Actually,

The internal rage spikes when an old repressed memory would come to mind.

I'd just be absolutely enraged at the injustice.

And I used to think.

How am I ever going to be able to just sit with this feeling?

It feels intolerable.

But in time,

I came to recognise that.

.

.

This,

The suffering,

So suffering the emotion was actually a thought.

Because my thought said,

This is unbearable.

I can't cope with this.

This is too much.

I feel like I'm going to explode.

Those sorts of thoughts.

It really is quite a very distressing.

So what I learned to do through various practices is actually to.

To be able to simply sit and feel the emotion without that mind activity added.

And by doing that,

You lessen the severity,

You lessen the intensity of that emotion.

In time,

What develops is this peace,

This deep inner peace of just being able to,

Ah,

I see.

When I just feel the emotion just as it is without so much.

Narrative and story involved.

Actually.

It's still not pleasant,

But not pleasant isn't a catastrophe.

Feeling an uncomfortable emotion.

Feeling uncomfortable is not a disaster.

It's not a catastrophe and it's not a crisis.

It can be intense,

But that's all right.

You see,

How amazing is this?

We can actually just say,

Well,

That's all right.

Yeah,

It is intense.

We can just sit and integrate that.

Just really starting to.

.

.

You will get to know your inner emotional world in a much deeper way.

And in a way that isn't based on a relationship of conflict.

So if we can,

As the older.

.

.

As the old African proverb says,

If there is no enemy within.

The enemy outside can do us no harm.

And I found this to be very true when there was no inner conflict,

When I was no longer wrestling and fighting with my own.

In an emotional world the external triggers,

The external annoyances and all of the things that used to cause so much suffering in the external world.

It just wasn't so much of a problem anymore.

Which isn't to say that experience is just a flat.

Numb dull no emotions ever it's actually quite the opposite emotions can become very vivid Very,

Very defined.

The saturation is turned up.

Very,

Very.

Powerful emotions.

But when we've developed a relationship with our own inner emotional world,

It's one of safety.

It's one of calm.

It's one of recognition,

Acknowledgement,

Respect and ultimately love.

It's this compassionate,

Welcoming,

Loving acceptance of whatever emotion.

Wants to be here and we can just say you're allowed to be here,

You can be here,

You are safe.

You are known.

You are loved.

Just as you are.

On really extending that warm,

Compassionate.

.

.

Conscious awareness to our own inner emotional world.

That inner conflict just dissolves and there's now a relationship of trust and safety.

So that's what I wanted to talk about today.

The ability to feel emotion without narrative.

Without the activity of the mind.

So I gave the example there of feeling like a rage spike.

Everyone suffers.

Well,

Everyone has a different.

.

.

Has different emotions that they that causes them distress,

That causes them dysfunction.

So it's going to be different for everyone,

But rage is quite a common one.

So I had those like big rage spikes internally and it was very distressing.

So in that example,

It's the thoughts added that are like,

This is intolerable,

This is too much,

This is too intense.

But also with rage,

We often go up into our head.

And there's a lot of replaying of arguments or there's lots of thoughts along the lines of.

I should have done something different.

I should have said something else I should have behaved in a different way.

Somebody else should have done something else or behaved in a different way.

We get caught in this endless cycle in the head now some of those thoughts might be true they might be accurate but in the present moment when we're just caught up in a loop it's just an endless replay of certain memories and there's lots of accusatory thoughts to others and to ourselves It's a very unpleasant place to be.

I'm sure you know the space I'm talking about there.

It's kind of like a rumination sort of loop where we're just all up in the head.

It's like you can't get away from it And it just leads from one memory to the next to the next.

It's just a lot of anger.

A lot comes to the surface.

And this can be this is the distress.

This is the suffering of the emotion.

It's actually we suffer it in the mind.

We're not actually suffering the emotion itself.

We're suffering from the psychological activity.

That is a result of the emotion.

Now,

This is a cognitive reaction to the emotion.

But it's crucial to note here,

The emotion itself is just an emotion,

It's just a feeling.

And actually,

When we're suffering in the presence of an emotion,

We're not actually suffering the emotion.

What we suffer is the psychological reaction to it.

How would things be different?

You might already be getting a sense of art,

Like how this would work,

Like how this understanding.

Will allow us to introduce practices that breaks that reactivity and actually just by feeling the emotion and not progressing.

To the psychological stage.

We actually just feel the emotion raw just as it is without the psychological stuff.

Ah,

There we find.

There's a deep healing.

A deep healing can occur there.

So that's one example with rage very common.

You might have something like fear.

So there's there's again,

You feel the presence of fear and a panic starts to rise and we go up into the mind.

Those thoughts that are like oh no not this again or I can't cope with another bout of anxiety or if I feel this worried I won't be able to sleep or I won't be able to to go to work tomorrow or Those are the thoughts relating to the fear,

Relating to that feeling of nervousness,

Worry,

Anxiety.

But if we just went straight to.

.

.

The emotion and actually just felt the emotion without progressing to the psychological stage.

That does leave us with the feeling of fear,

Which is not pleasant.

It's not pleasant at all.

But by bringing ourselves into the present moment and just allowing ourselves to feel it.

In the present,

We find actually the feeling itself,

The raw experience.

Of fear without any narrative or psychological activity added to the fear the actual feeling of fear itself Again,

Unpleasant.

Can be remarkably unpleasant.

But it's not a crisis.

It's not a disaster.

It's just unpleasant.

I know,

I.

.

.

I'm always very cautious not to be.

.

.

Not to be invalidating.

I don't want to be dismissive of your pain and what you've been through because I'm speaking from experience.

I suffered terribly with anxiety and depression and addiction and all kinds of stuff.

Right.

My recovery journey has been fairly comprehensive and I know how irritating and triggering it can be to.

Get a sense that somebody might be trying to invalidate or dismiss your suffering.

So I'm not trying to say,

Oh,

It's all in your head and it's not there.

No,

This isn't like that.

The pain is real.

And I know very much from experience,

Emotional distress,

Emotional pain can be.

Agonizing let's just call it what it is it can be i know So this is a process.

But I can also speak to the power of this process because there's the amount of epiphany moments and this will be so liberating for you.

A new way is just around the corner.

This will be so freeing for you,

So healing for you.

And sometimes it's just all it needs is just a slight shift in the way we're perceiving something.

Just a minor change in our understanding,

The way we were looking at something,

The way we were feeling something.

And you get those epiphanies.

Oh,

I get it.

I see.

And all of a sudden,

Huge chunks of your burden are just released.

And that's what I'm trying to,

That's the place I'm hoping to get to.

But I understand some of this might come across dismissive.

I'm really not trying to.

We tread carefully in the valley of the shadow,

Right?

When you're feeling that anxiety there,

There's such remarkable power in just naming it,

Realizing,

Okay,

So this is that anxiety.

And if we don't.

.

.

If we don't.

.

.

Panic about the panic then the feedback loop doesn't begin you know that sort of anxiety spiral where it just sort of like picks up momentum like a snowball it just picks up more and more size momentum until you're having a full-blown Anxiety episode essentially.

But if we learn to just feel it when at the very first glimmers,

The very first.

Sign of this fear arising.

Just bring your awareness entirely to the anxiety,

Entirely to the fear.

Feel it in the body,

Feel the emotion as the emotion.

I'll do a full kind of practice towards the end of this talk.

This is just explaining how the process works.

I'll go a bit more in depth into what this practice actually looks like in real time towards the end of the talk.

By becoming so fully aware of the anxiety,

But not adding any judgment to it.

We're not adding those narratives like,

This is unbearable.

I can't go through this again.

I'm not going to be able to sleep.

I won't be able to go to work tomorrow.

That's actually all just the mind.

That's the mind's interpretation of the emotion.

But just feeling the emotion itself and.

.

.

To be honest,

I do this all the time.

Sometimes I'm like,

Yeah,

This sucks.

I get up with all kinds of emotions that are really,

Really used to cause me a lot of dysfunction and a lot of distress.

Now,

When they're present,

Just very present with it,

I'm like,

Just an acknowledgement and an acceptance.

I,

Yeah.

This is not very pleasant at all.

And I give myself some time and space to just sit with the feeling and just go deeply into it rather than try and get away from it.

Rather than try to distract myself or avoid the emotion,

Just go into it.

Wow,

So how does fear feel in the present moment?

And this might be a talk for another time,

But one of the really powerful things is let the emotion actually be the guide.

The emotion is obviously there.

It wants to be felt.

Maybe it has something for you.

So it's just wow.

You tell me.

I say this all the time to my patients.

You tell me.

I've got nothing to do with this.

You tell me what you need.

Tell me what you need.

I will provide it.

This is the relationship to our inner emotional world.

It's a sense of.

.

.

Love,

Really.

Love,

Trust,

Compassion,

Patience.

Infinite patience.

Can speak to your own emotions and say,

I'm not going to make you go away.

I'm not gonna push you away.

I'm not going to lose my patience with you.

You can be here for as long as you need to be here.

And then you find that so your attention then remains with the emotion.

It doesn't go up.

Into the psychological turmoil because the mind is darting all over the place trying to find solutions for the fear.

It's the mind's relentless attempt to feel better.

That is actually ironically causing you more distress.

Than if you took the opposite approach and just actually choose to feel the emotion fully.

If we choose to feel it fully.

As Rumi said,

The solution to the pain is the pain.

That's very much in the tantric tradition and the tradition of Kashmir Shaivism.

It's the tradition of going towards the emotion.

Go so close to the experience that it's no longer a threat.

Just feel the reality in the present moment.

We find that whatever that whatever it is,

It's through that.

Through accepting things as they are,

We no longer need to go to the mind.

Because the mind is endlessly trying to resist or avoid reality in the present.

So that's the rage spike,

We go up into the head.

The fear spike,

We go up into the head.

And there's also sadness and feeling low,

That real heaviness.

It's like,

Ah.

We can suffer a lot from that,

I find,

Because we bring a lot of the past into that.

We feel like I've always felt this way or I've felt like this for years.

How much longer is this going to go on for?

I can't see an end to this.

So a lot of what we suffer when it comes to the sadness,

The lowness.

It's thoughts relating to time.

So if we bring ourselves fully into the present moment and just just feeling it as it is now again.

Really powerful here.

To really We have to discover exactly what it is that we're feeling because I think in a huge,

Huge number of cases.

A lot of the time people have been dealing with persistent sadness and low mood and feeling heavy and numb and checked out because they don't realize they're actually grieving.

It's an unresolved grief or an unaddressed grief.

That's what's there.

But because we've interpreted it as just sadness,

We're not addressing or.

.

.

We're not processing the grief because grief has a different approach.

Than something like low mood but once we know that it's grief then a process can begin.

It's worth checking.

If that's you,

If you suffer from bouts of low mood and stuff,

Just check.

You might be grieving something.

And remember,

Grief isn't always about.

.

.

Losing someone it can also mean losing some things or losing a For example,

You lose your job or you have a breakup or there's been a massive change in your life circumstances,

Loss of health,

Something like that.

It might be worth you can just always just assess.

I wonder if that's.

.

.

It could be from long ago as well,

Because the heart doesn't have a calendar.

The heart doesn't have a clock.

So it doesn't matter if it was 10 years ago.

If you were heartbroken 10 years ago.

The heart remembers,

And it's still happening now as far as the heart is concerned.

So I found it,

Again,

This is from me and my personal experience.

Once I opened myself up to the possibility I might need to grieve,

It was a huge relief.

Grief isn't pleasant.

It was quite a journey,

But.

.

.

The relief,

I'll tell you.

The relief.

Because my body and mind was no longer trying to constrain and constrict.

I suddenly felt a lot less claustrophobic.

Because I can just open myself up and allow myself to grieve.

And sometimes it was a relief to actually just feel that solemn.

Dignified.

Ultimately it transmutes into quite a beautiful feeling because grief and love are so closely So closely aligned.

In a way that's very difficult to explain,

But I'm sure you know what I mean.

But so the sadness we might feel,

It's the thoughts that come with it about how long has this been going on?

How long is this going to last?

Am I ever going to be able to enjoy life again?

This is getting in the way of me enjoying my life or living my life.

That's all the psychological.

Noise.

Around the emotion.

But if you go deeply into the emotion itself,

In the present moment,

You find,

Well,

It's,

Yeah,

This isn't nice.

But there's no further thought required.

And by doing that,

Strangely,

This frees up a little bit of energy.

And that small amount of energy might mean that you can make it out for that walk today.

Because you're in the present,

You're not catastrophizing things or feeling the need to shy away from the world.

Because you're more comfortable with just the emotion.

It's just a sense of,

Wow,

Okay,

I feel sad today.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

And there's nothing wrong with you.

There's nothing wrong with you.

It's a key part of what I really try to convey to everyone.

There is nothing wrong with you.

And there's nothing wrong with feeling sad at times.

It's natural.

It's normal.

It's actually very healthy to acknowledge this.

Life is hard.

Life is tough.

It's a wild world.

Of course we're going to feel sad sometimes.

If you're the sort of person that's on this platform listening to this sort of talk,

I imagine things have been quite hard for you.

I imagine it's not been an easy ride.

It's been rough Especially if you're a very emotionally attuned person,

You're quite sensitive.

Bet it's been a rough ride.

So sometimes it's just I find.

.

.

I find,

Curiously,

There's a kind of a dignity in sadness.

If I can take myself somewhere,

Even a park or the seafront or something like that,

Or even just in my room.

Quietly and solemnly,

Just.

.

.

Giving myself permission to just acknowledge this.

It's like,

Yeah,

Wow.

There's that divine sadness again.

So going to the emotion and just feeling it as it is.

This actually starts to free us up.

It starts to liberate us.

So in terms of how do we start to actually practice this or apply this,

The first thing I would say it starts with.

A recognition and an understanding so some of this is it's just pure information really to begin with and once you've once you've understood this i actually think that's the most important because whatever you do downstream from that if it's based on this understanding,

You'll probably start to develop a little bit of your own personalized way of processing this.

Everyone is so different.

That's something I've learned on this journey.

Everyone is so different.

But I've also learned that We all have the same emotions.

That is something that unites us.

We've all had different experiences in life and we have different ways of expressing things and feeling things,

But the core emotional spectrum itself.

We all share that,

Actually.

So that is something that unifies us.

But everyone's very different,

So how this practice looks might be slightly different further down the line.

But the key,

The key is to.

.

.

Start to recognize that there is a difference between the emotional world and the psychological world.

And this can come as quite a surprise to a lot of people.

It was a surprise to me,

Let me tell you.

It was a massive surprise,

But it was also one of those epiphany moments of like,

I get it.

Now,

What's really interesting here is that we assume that emotions are something psychological.

And we might even,

When we're talking,

Often we're talking about emotional health,

But people are referring to it as mental health.

We assume that emotions are cognitive or emotions are mental.

Emotions are something we experience in the mind.

And I'd just like to challenge that belief right now.

And so I'm going to start lacing in a few little.

.

.

Few little meditative exercises in themselves right now so What I would ask here is,

Where do you feel your emotions?

We got all the time in the world now.

So it can be very,

Very powerful to say,

So what's my current emotion?

What emotion am I currently feeling?

We can name it.

And just become very aware of your emotional world.

Become acutely aware of your emotional world.

And then this is a deep introspection,

So it's always important to answer with your experience,

Not with your mind.

Answer with your experience,

Not with your mind.

Where are you experiencing the emotion?

Where is it felt?

So exploring here,

You might even want to pause and actually just keep checking that until you find an answer.

But the question that follows from that is,

Do you actually feel the emotion in your mind?

How amazing is this considering this is something i find fascinating Considering that emotions.

Have a massive influence on our entire life.

They influence our decisions.

We base a lot of our lives around emotions.

And we base a lot of our decisions,

A lot of our thinking is influenced by our emotions,

A lot of our perceptions,

A lot of our beliefs.

So our entire lives,

Those are the things that make up your entire life.

Is emotions,

And yet we very rarely,

Very rarely,

Introspect to the level of what actually is an emotion what actually is it Considering this thing called an emotion is so powerful.

So powerful and influences every single person's life on planet Earth,

Wouldn't it be a good idea to find out what they are?

What even are they?

And so looking,

Looking deep,

Deep into the heart,

What actually is this emotion?

And here we start to notice we can actually distinguish.

Between an emotion and a thought.

So we realize an emotion is not actually a thought.

An emotion is felt.

It's a felt experience and it's experienced as an emotion.

Now,

The more we can experience an emotion raw,

Uncooked as somebody in the live streams put it which i thought was a beautiful way of putting it So unprocessed emotion.

Don't give the emotion to the mind to mangle it up with all of its conditioning and weird beliefs and stuff.

Right.

So that's what the mind does.

Right.

We don't want to process.

Just don't process it.

Leave it uncooked leave it as a raw ingredient and we do that by simply feeling it And the more you can simply feel the emotion,

It will be intense.

Certain emotions in particular will be remarkably intense.

Particularly the emotions that you have.

Avoided,

Buried or repressed for the longest amount of time,

Perhaps since childhood.

When we are called to the opportunity to feel these,

They can be remarkably intense to feel.

Don't panic.

Don't panic.

Take heart.

The only reason that they feel so intense when we rediscover them is that they were intolerable when we first encountered those emotions.

Course they were.

You were a child when you encountered them.

An infant,

Even.

That's why they felt so intense the first time around and for various reasons we end up burying them.

Often if the The adults around us weren't exactly modelling emotional health themselves,

But I won't go too much into that today.

So the exercise here is to recognize that you can feel an emotion even in the absence of mind activity.

Now,

The mind wants to jump in all the time,

All the time,

All the time,

All the time.

The mind is such a massive overachiever.

The mind is a real tryhard.

It wants to get involved in everything.

And here's it's such a simple little mechanism that happens.

Bless it,

Really,

Because the mind is a problem solver.

And so when we feel an emotion that feels quite uncomfortable,

The mind assumes that it's a problem.

And the mind comes in with that.

This looks like a job for me sort of feeling.

Comes in and starts trying to fix the emotion.

And only for us to discover all this time later.

It doesn't work like that.

Doesn't work like that.

Emotions are not something you have to fix.

When we accept them,

We realise the emotion is not a problem.

And when something is not a problem,

It no longer requires fixing.

Therefore the mind.

.

.

We can say thanks for your help,

But this isn't the job for you anymore.

Monkey mind,

Go eat a banana,

Right?

Well done.

Thanks for everything,

But.

.

.

They've.

.

.

The mind,

I wouldn't say it should never be involved in the realm of the heart,

But.

.

.

It's very rare.

I know that's a lot to say,

But I said it.

Oh dear.

Anyway.

The point is we assume.

We assume that emotions are psychological.

We assume that emotions are like a thought,

That I experience emotions in my mind.

But that's because the mind always gets involved.

The moment an emotion is present,

The mind gets involved so quickly,

So quickly that your general experience as you go through day-to-day life is that the mind seems inextricably linked,

Like meshed up.

With emotions with the emotional world which is why doing these practices this deep powerful meditative contemplation can help us to unlink this.

To allow the emotions to return to their raw,

Natural,

Healthy state.

And we find.

.

.

All they need.

All they need is some attention and love.

They need to be accepted and we accept them by just feeling them.

Just feeling the emotion that that's always just wanted to be felt.

With the understanding.

This emotion is not a problem.

It's not harming you.

It's not,

No emotion is harmful.

And I know that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense,

But.

.

.

If we also recognize we can disengage the emotion that we're feeling from behavior.

Because behaviours can be destructive and harmful.

Including cognitive behaviour,

So thinking can be destructive and harmful.

Behaviour with your actions can be destructive and harmful.

We all know that the mechanisms of self-medication that a lot of people do,

Or when they don't control their behavior when rage is present,

That can be very physically destructive.

Or the amount of psychological turmoil and distress makes people sick.

So we know that.

.

.

The behavior that potentially results from certain emotions can be destructive.

Okay,

That's fine.

But.

.

.

The emotion itself.

Isn't actually harmful,

Therefore it's not dangerous.

And if it's not dangerous,

It's nothing to be afraid of.

If it's nothing to be afraid of we give ourselves permission to feel it.

And when we have permission to feel it.

And see it's not a problem,

It's nothing to be afraid of,

It's just uncomfortable.

All of a sudden we have the inner peace that we've been longing for.

And it turns out.

.

.

We arrived at that inner peace not by changing the emotion or not feeling the emotion.

Not even by healing the emotion,

Because ultimately that doesn't quite make sense either.

What we heal is our relationship to the emotion,

But the emotion itself never needed healing.

Surprise!

The emotion itself never needed healing.

There's nothing wrong with you.

There's nothing wrong with the emotion.

Right.

And so,

Recognizing that this deep emotional safety allows the body and mind to just relax,

Oh I see.

And the trade-off is in order to get that remarkable inner peace and that remarkable relaxation of body and mind.

Not to mention better functioning in the world,

Particularly in your relationships.

The trade-off is all we have to do or we have to give up really.

Is our resistance to the emotion.

So it is a trade-off,

But the benefit is massive,

Massive,

Compared to the hit that you take,

Because the hit you take is,

Well.

.

.

I'm gonna have to learn how to really accept my emotions.

And it's going to be.

.

.

There's there's gonna this i i wish i could sugarcoat it but i'm not here to sugarcoat anything i don't think i'd be doing you a favor if i said oh yeah this is one simple easy trick and everything's gonna be just fine it's That's the sort of stuff that the charlatans say.

But it's better to be honest and say,

Yeah,

This is.

You might find yourself in the trenches a little on this.

You are strong.

You are strong.

Have courage.

Have courage and discipline and focus.

You can do this.

I know you can.

And I know you can because you probably,

You probably.

Sorry this happens to me sometimes it's all right I know you're strong enough to do it,

Even if you believe that you're not.

Because I was in that place too,

And you probably feel the same way I felt when I was in that place.

That's why I do these videos and why I do what I do now.

Because if you feel the same way I felt when I was in that place,

I know it's rough.

Think I'm just not strong enough for this how do I am I ever going to get to the end of this there must be something wrong there must be I'm just too damaged I'm just too messed up no that's thinking we gotta It's time to leave those sorts of beliefs behind.

They're not helping you.

Instead,

It's right.

I choose to face this now.

Let's get into it.

Let's do it.

Let's do the shadow work.

Let's finally,

Finally turn and face that which I've been running from.

And yeah,

It's going to be rough.

It's going to be rough.

But hey.

What a journey.

And this will yield results like you've never seen before.

That's always the trade off,

Right?

The steeper the mountain,

The better the view at the top.

So.

Unlinking or even Yeah,

No,

I'll say it's unlinking the emotion from the psychological stuff.

And realising that feeling and emotion is not actually a psychological activity.

Wow,

Right?

Feeling an emotion is not a psychological activity.

The psychological activity gets involved in analyzing everything and wondering what this is and naming everything and wanting to get a very clear picture.

Okay,

Fine,

Sure.

But it's crucial,

Actually,

It's crucial to understand feeling and emotion.

Is very very different to experiencing a thought,

To thinking a thought.

So these two worlds are separate.

How then?

Do we actually practice this?

Well,

Let's just see.

Let's just see now.

Let's just go into this now.

If you were to go to your current emotion.

And one of the most powerful things I like to do is bring the emotion to the forefront of your experience.

Rather than trying to push it into the background.

You actually allow emotion to be center stage.

The most important thing in your awareness.

The most important thing.

Everything else just falls into the background.

It's not important.

Mind is not important.

World is not important.

All those situations and circumstances,

All the narratives and stories,

Not important.

What is important is the emotion that you're currently feeling.

Now,

You might not be experiencing that emotion,

The one that causes you dysfunction and distress right now.

You might be feeling something else.

There might be something else present.

Whatever's present,

Just feel it.

And it can be very useful to just know the precise emotion you're actually feeling and just let it be there.

When we go to the emotion with our felt experience.

It's always powerful to just feel,

Yeah,

Where do I feel this?

It's a very powerful element of your consciousness.

But where is it exactly?

You find that's quite mysterious and vague.

But it's quite enjoyable to just feel that,

Wow,

Yeah,

It's like a sort of.

.

.

An energetic phenomena,

Something like that.

Just feeling it.

And now,

Would it be possible to feel this emotion without analyzing it?

We'll try it now,

All the time in the wild.

Just feel the emotion roar.

Uncooked.

Unprocessed neat Not mixed with anything.

So the mind.

.

.

Is the realm of analysis.

Interpretation.

Attaching ideas,

Concepts,

Stories,

Memories,

Attaching lots of stuff to the emotion,

But we're not interested in the mind.

Just disengage from the mind.

Instead,

Just stay with the emotion.

Just feel the emotion roar.

So there's no analysis.

There's no opinion.

Which means We're also not trying to decide if the emotion is good or bad.

Whether it should be here or shouldn't be here.

Those are thoughts.

Those are opinions.

That's analysis.

We're not interested in that.

We're interested in raw experience.

And so when the emotions felt in that way.

With no judgment.

That is the acceptance of the emotion.

We're not trying to decide if this is pleasant or unpleasant,

Right or wrong,

Good or bad.

That was all the stuff of the mind that we were taught to do with emotion.

But now we're reclaiming our inner emotional world and disentangling our emotions from the conditioning of this weird,

Emotionally repressed,

Strange and dysfunctional world around us.

Instead of,

They don't have great ideas about emotions,

Honestly.

They don't know what they're talking about.

They are bananas.

By they,

I mean the Maya.

Meaning the matrix,

The external world.

So you here reclaim,

Reclaim your inner emotional world by doing just that,

Feeling it raw,

Feeling it neat,

Feeling it as the pure life energy that it is.

Without any ideas about it,

Any concepts.

Any beliefs about it.

That's what the conditioning put into you.

Both by other people and by your own experiences in life.

Your own unique experiences through this world.

Disentangle,

Disengage and just feel it raw,

Feel it neat.

And what if you could do that with every emotion?

Even that emotion.

That causes you the greatest amount of distress,

Turmoil,

Suffering and dysfunction.

The anxiety,

The grief,

The loneliness.

The rage,

The shame,

The guilt.

Resentment,

Envy,

Hatred.

This is quite the journey.

You will have a remarkable journey of discovery inwards here.

We're done going outwards.

It's time to go inwards.

What you are looking for is where you are looking from,

As St Francis of Assisi put it.

Now,

Really important.

When it comes to something like shame,

Regret or guilt,

Get the narratives out of there.

We're accepting the emotion now.

Feeling it as it wants to be felt,

Like how does it feel to feel shame?

As an experience,

As a raw emotion.

We are not accepting the narratives.

So the.

The negative experiences that caused you to repress the emotion in the first place,

We are not validating those experiences.

They were wrong.

And they were wrong to do that.

They were wrong to say that to you.

They were wrong to treat you in that way.

We are not accepting.

We're not trying to say that what happened was right.

That's not this practice.

What we're doing in this practice is present moment in the here and now.

So this empowers you.

This empowers you to heal from the past.

So all that negativity from the past,

It's still happening now.

So this empowers you.

To do this now,

To heal it,

To reclaim this emotion.

Get them out of the head.

Just feel it.

How does shame actually feel?

And when we give ourselves permission to feel that.

So I went through a lot of shame,

Guilt and regret because of my background.

I was an alcoholic for 10 years.

So I have a decade of very shameful,

Very regretful actions that cause me a lot of guilt,

A lot of sorrow.

And it's been.

A grind when certain memories arise to just go to the feeling itself,

To give my permission to actually just feel this.

I know that sounds unusual,

Right?

You're not going to hear that from many sources,

But I'm speaking from my personal experience here.

Because if we're trying to avoid the guilt.

.

.

We're never going to fully heal.

We're never fully going to move forwards.

At a certain point,

You just have to say,

Yeah,

You know,

Hold your hands up to it.

What I did was wrong.

Yeah,

There's no getting around that.

You have to do that first before you can forgive yourself.

And before you can expect others to forgive you too.

You have to first acknowledge,

Yeah,

Okay.

And it's actually it's the emotion that facilitates that.

There's a lot of people trying to bury their guilt and regret and shame.

A lot of people trying to do that.

By saying,

Oh,

It wasn't my fault or there were all these mitigating circumstances.

Well.

Eventually it's far easier just just Stop arguing with yourself and just say,

OK,

Look,

Just.

Hold your hands up to it.

I die.

Yeah.

I gone done mucked up,

Didn't I?

And you see,

So just.

.

.

Eventually,

It's like,

Right,

Okay,

Now you.

.

.

The guilt will play itself out.

The regret,

The shame,

Even like,

You know,

The humiliation,

Those old embarrassing memories from when you were a kid.

All of that's going to come.

Because now we're in a slightly different space.

We're not going to try and fight it on the level of the mind.

We know that doesn't work.

Lord knows that doesn't work.

We've tried that.

Instead,

We just feel it at the level of the heart.

And it's like now,

See,

This is the power of this is by realizing things are different now.

A lot of our negative experiences with emotions.

Happened when we were far younger.

When we didn't have the same experience,

We didn't have the same knowledge,

We didn't have the same resources,

We didn't have the same connections,

We didn't have the same power,

We didn't have the same physical size.

We were physically smaller when we first encountered those emotions.

And first impressions count for a lot,

Right?

As they say,

That's the thing about first impressions.

You only get one of them.

So your first impression of certain emotions was intense.

The first time you felt humiliated was a lot.

The first time you felt rage,

It was overwhelming.

But that causes us to develop a subconscious belief that.

It's the emotion itself that is overwhelming or too much.

So now we're going to revisit that subconscious belief.

And in the present moment.

Oh,

Things are different now.

Things are different now.

Ah,

I see.

Ah,

I see.

When I feel the emotion as a well resourced,

Well educated,

Experienced,

Compassionate,

Wise,

Loving,

Nurturing,

Beautiful adult that you are.

The emotion e ā.

It was massive back then,

But right now.

.

.

It's just,

It just is what it is.

That's all.

And therein,

Some remarkable transformations will happen.

You've been through a lot,

Haven't you?

Time to acknowledge that.

And have some hope and optimism for the way forward.

We often find ourselves in such a lot of despair.

But that's just based on your experiences so far.

You have no idea what's happening next.

The rest of your life can be very different.

Just think of the new things you can learn,

The new things you can practice,

The new methods.

Things can change.

Things do change.

Change is a fundamental nature of the universe.

Of course,

Things are going to change.

It's up to you the manner in which they change.

Why not change it in a healthy way?

Change for the better.

Why not?

Why not you?

Why not you?

Why can't you be one of those guys?

One of those gals?

Why can't you be one of those people?

Those annoying people like me who go on these journeys and then can't shut up about it.

Why not you?

Why not you and why not now?

I hope I've said everything that needs to be said today.

Yeah,

So that was it.

So the power of.

.

.

It's crucial to accept the emotion,

Not necessarily the situation.

And it's not to.

.

.

It's actually,

It's to get rid of the mind stuff altogether.

Should I just look at things in a different way?

Should I do this?

Should I do that?

Like,

What should have happened?

Why do I feel this way?

That's all stuff in the mind.

Replaying the memories the horrible things that have happened to you the memories are horrific and very very distressing and we suffer from the memory but if we go just go so what's the emotion then And by having this very accepting and allowing relationship with the emotion the distress lessons and when there's not so much distress there's not so much fear about the emotion itself the memories will subside They will subside.

I know that sounds too good to be true at this point.

But you might just have to go untrust.

They will subside.

Often for some reason,

Our perception is often the wrong way.

We have the sequence the wrong way around,

The cause and effect the wrong way around.

We think we have the memory and that triggers the emotion.

It's actually the other way around.

Upon feeling the emotion,

The mind immediately resonates on the same frequency as the emotion and just pulls the relating.

Memory to it and that's what you become aware of so if you become aware of the emotion first it never progresses to that memory stage particularly if we're no longer in distress in relation to the emotion.

He doesn't call to mind the same memories again because it's the distress about the emotion.

This is dark.

Exciting sometimes to take a moment.

See,

I'm practicing this in real time.

Stay yes.

That was bad wasn't it?

So.

.

.

The real psychological suffering is the distress we're feeling in relation to the emotion.

And that's why it's going to be a process and do this gently.

But it's welcoming that it's now safe to feel.

The emotion is now safe to feel.

It wasn't safe before.

It's now safe to feel.

And therein the transformation occurs.

This brings you into the present you become very present you're now much You can live life in a much more free way because you have this sense of safety within yourself.

There's no,

You're not afraid of your own emotional world.

And just imagine.

How many doors open up for you?

All of those things that previously you thought you wouldn't be able to access.

There's a there's a learning to integrate to tolerate emotions so you're nervous about applying for that job or you just apply anyway well nerves are just nerves Nervous about asking that person out on that first date?

Well,

Nerves are just nerves,

Aren't they?

So,

Yeah,

Let's do it.

Let's go.

Let's go,

Let's go,

Let's go.

Right?

Feel apprehensive about confronting somebody about something.

Or maybe you're angry about the way you've been treated at work.

Now you feel more confident to actually express you're not happy about something because you're not afraid of your own anger.

You know it won't boil up into a massive rage spike because you're comfortable with anger in its natural state.

And in its natural,

Healthy state,

Anger just lets you raise your hand and say,

I don't agree with you,

Manager or co-worker.

That's it.

That's all it is.

Nothing more sinister.

But also,

Again,

Fair warned is fair armed.

The more you do this,

The deeper the layers of old buried material will rise to the surface.

Why?

Because they feel safe to do so.

But this is a good thing.

Because we're going to start.

Dredging up.

A lot of the unresolved stuff that was already there.

In the shadow.

The unconscious parts of our inner emotional world.

It was already there,

And it was pulling the strings from behind the scenes.

But now,

Because we feel so much safer to accept,

Welcome,

Love,

Befriend all emotion and feel it raw,

Uncooked,

Unprocessed,

Without the mind getting involved.

More and more emotions will.

Make themselves known to you.

To be welcomed and loved and integrated in this way.

And the results,

I just have to let you fill them for yourselves because.

.

.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you how good.

The results from this are how good it feels.

You wouldn't believe me.

So you've got to experience it for yourself,

Which is what I'm all about here.

I think that'll do for today,

Team.

I feel like I went a little further into the shadow there today.

I was only going to do about the unlinking the emotions from the mind.

And I went a little bit further into the repressed emotional material shadow work.

But hey.

When in Rome,

I just speak on what I'm called to speak on,

What the intuition is telling me to speak on today.

Good,

Beautiful.

Thank you so much.

If you're interested in this sort of stuff,

I do live streams on emotion work and shadow work.

You might be interested in checking that out.

Beautiful.

I do those live streams on the Insight Timer platform,

By the way.

Thank you so much for watching.

Thank you so much for listening.

I hope some of that's been helpful.

Let me know.

I'll do some more follow up videos to maybe go a little deeper and clarify some points a little more,

But that's a good brief overview.

Thank you so much for watching team.

Take care.

And stay present.