If you have lost your mom,
This message is for you.
For those of us who share hurt and suffering,
May we feel a sense of togetherness now.
Pain can run so deep and linger for so long.
This pain,
If we allow it,
Can become integrated within our lives.
When we hold onto our painful feelings,
They can become an integrated part of our identity.
Where does this lead?
Loneliness,
Playing small,
Feelings of self-pity.
This results in traps.
We may self-sabotage,
Leading to low self-esteem,
Low self-worth,
And isolation.
You have experienced great loss,
And no one can truly identify with your personal pain.
You may feel alone,
And emotions of confusion,
Anger,
Frustration,
Sadness,
Regret,
Fatigue,
Helplessness,
And disbelief may come and go so quickly.
But then,
They can stay for such long periods of time.
You wonder if the tears will ever stop.
Are you feeling numb?
Is the feeling of uneasiness and the unknown setting in?
After we experience loss,
Everything we once knew may seem on the surface to have vanished.
An emptiness within our souls may arise.
You may experience a living nightmare that you are unable to wake from.
Maybe you feel as though you are running,
Running,
And running.
You may question everything.
Your past,
Your future,
Your present,
Your purpose.
You may feel anxious or completely overwhelmed.
All of the little things have changed.
Life is different.
You may even say to yourself,
I don't even know myself anymore.
Or,
I don't know which way to turn,
And I have lost my guide.
Consistent questions may ruminate within your mind.
Like,
Why did you leave me?
What could I have done?
You may feel out of control,
Because where you once stood,
Sure-footed,
You now stumble.
So what do you do?
You set yourself up with the right expectations.
You expect to feel better,
Only to break down.
But you keep going.
You resist the temptation to place judgment upon yourself.
You have strength,
And it will surface once more.
Expect uncontrollable tears,
And let them come.
In time,
They will lessen.
Expect to have questions,
And take time for them.
Expect to feel strong,
Only to have the rug pulled right out from underneath you.
The road you are traveling has no set timeline.
Expect to feel frail,
And emotionally fragile.
But also,
Expect to persevere and grow with hope.
When you are in such an unfathomable place,
Where physical and emotional exhaustion are familiar spaces,
The focus has to be on holding onto hope.
If your personal hope slides,
Lean into it.
Breathe deeply,
Slow life down,
And pause.
You pause as frequently as needed,
And you breathe deeply into the safety of this current moment.
As the minutes grow to hours,
And then days turn into months,
And then years,
You will grow stronger,
With more hope.
You'll experience less striving,
And more thriving.
So claim peacefulness,
Calmness,
Joy,
And happiness.
You'll know when the time comes to move forward.
So,
What is your journey now?
Well today,
You claim you're hurt.
You place trust in our shared pain.
For all of us are in pain,
And we are all healing.
Life may be unknown,
But choose to fill it with love,
Compassion,
Grace,
Patience,
And honesty.
Know that you are a survivor.
You have survived great loss.
And you will go forward.
So you need to claim this new path.
As you build strength,
You'll need to resist self-sabotage.
If you find yourself slipping off of a ledge into areas that you would never have gone before,
Become aware of it.
Use your self-talk to improve your situation.
Turn off the old tapes that play in your mind.
And start repeating these statements.
I loved my mom.
I cherish our memories together.
I honor my mom.
And you may need to say,
I forgive my mom,
And I forgive myself.
If you need to,
Then say it.
I also want you to say,
I love my life.
I have people that care for me.
I will build a legacy.
I will give to others as they give to me.
Make peace with yourself.
So grieve,
Cry,
But then accept and remember and embrace and cherish.
Commit to your own health and your own emotional well-being.
You will always remember.
Even though you have lost your mom,
You are here.
And you have endless possibilities.
So be grateful to wake up each day having an opportunity to move forward into your future.
Today,
Say to yourself,
I make a stand.
I claim my hurt,
But I also claim joy,
Laughter,
Love,
Affection,
Compliments,
Strength,
Health,
Energy,
And love.
They are all mine for the taking.
So choose these things.
The greatest gift that you can give your mom is a healthy life.
Give her peace of mind to know that those that she left behind are in a good place.
Remember,
You don't need to explain yourself to anyone.
Your life is yours to live.
Also remember to search for connections.
They do surround you.
There is love right here for you to experience.
You are not alone.
We all understand where you are.
And we all believe in one another.
So look for people.
Meet people.
And understand that you will have unexpected conversations.
You'll share memories.
You'll have commonalities.
And you'll comfort one another.
And these may be your greatest gifts.
I am sending you my heartfelt sympathy and condolences.
And I am sending you strength and love.
If you may not feel supported right now,
Listen to this message again and again.
I have lost my mom and it's been 25 years.
I struggled for about a decade before I wanted to accept the greatest loss of my life.
Your time will come.
The purpose of recording this message is because I don't want you to waste your life.
I want you to enjoy all that life has to offer.
You deserve it.
Thank you for listening.
