Hello there.
So this one might be a bit wild and salty,
So if that isn't your thing,
I'd suggest maybe you find something else to listen to right now.
But if you are still here,
I invite you to settle in and let's see where this goes,
Shall we?
Do you ever feel like you are kind and good and trying to do the right thing and following the little nudges and opening yourself up to magic and possibility and all you get is no after no after no and on top of it does it ever feel like you are trying so damn hard to live your purpose and follow your bliss all while not only being thwarted at every turn but also it feels like everyone else around you is fucking glowing because of the magic they are experiencing and because their wildest dreams are coming true.
Inhale.
Exhale.
It is enough to make you want to turn the big energy or the greater than or the mystery of the universe,
Whatever you want to call it,
Turn it into a piñata and bash its stupid brains out.
Seriously,
What is up?
I know when we tell God our plans,
God laughs.
Or there are two plans,
Our plan and mystery's plan.
Instead of a big old amen,
Can I get a big old screw that?
Seriously,
What is up?
I don't know.
I really don't.
I do know we have these things that are so important to us that feel crucial to who we are and we put our time and our energy into them and send them off into the world and at best they get ignored or maybe it feels as if some big hand out there is plucking the wings off our dreams and letting them drop to the floor.
Yes,
This might be a little bit dramatic but honestly,
Why?
Maybe we have a lesson to learn.
Yeah,
Maybe.
You've heard maybe what we resist persists or maybe we are living out our karma and we're all fine and good with karma when it's other people's lives but we don't necessarily want them to play out in our own.
I don't know.
But what I do know is that this matters.
Our dreams,
Our hopes,
Our goals matter.
And can't the whatever out there see that?
Life is hard enough without feeling thwarted at every turn and here is where I try and make a turn to try and make this okay.
But you know what?
What if it's not okay?
Seriously,
What if we decide this is not okay and we get angry and sad and frustrated as fuck and we sit and we breathe and maybe we cry and we sit and we breathe and we wait and live and fail and live and try and fail and live and live and live.
I don't know why this happens but it does.
And maybe it's okay to turn toddler every once in a while and stomp our foot and scream and weep and collapse.
Because no matter what does or does not happen,
No matter how much other people seem to glow and win and hoard all the magic in the world,
It's not true.
There is still magic.
No matter what,
There is still magic.
It is the magic of being here,
Of crying out our big yawps of pain if that's what we need to do,
Of collapsing in exhaustion and finding sleep and waking up and knowing that we never ever know what is on its way.
So as hard as it is,
Sit,
Breathe,
Wait,
Live and do it again and again and again.