Our topic for today is when you just feel bad.
Because.
.
.
I woke up this morning.
Feeling bad.
I noticed that.
There were all kinds of impulses in me.
About this bad feeling.
And number one was to ask,
Why?
Why am I feeling bad right now?
There were other impulses,
Like,
Let's do something to cheer up.
Let's try thinking of something that makes me happy.
And yet,
Both of those impulses,
The one to Try to figure out why.
And the 1-2.
Do something to shift my mood.
They didn't help.
And they're not even in line with what I've learned.
In my years of working with this focusing process.
Which would be,
Number one,
It doesn't really matter why.
Why is it perhaps the least interesting question?
Why is maybe the last question that gets answered?
In other words,
Why do I feel bad?
Maybe it's this,
Maybe it's that.
But to answer why,
I have to go up to Whereas what my body needs is for me to come down here.
So the first question is not why,
It's what.
What am I feeling?
What am I feeling and what is it like?
And how would I describe it?
That's number one.
What am I feeling?
What is it like?
How would I describe it?
And number two would be,
Can I just be with it?
Can I just be with it?
Going to do that together.
Let's do that together right now.
And so often,
Right?
There are feelings that we that come and we don't know why.
Have you had that experience?
I would even suggest.
That sometimes you think you know why.
And it's not that,
Or it's not just that.
That when I'm feeling something,
What it needs from me,
What the feeling needs from me is first my presence and my company.
And Then.
.
.
A further process can happen.
I love the phrase,
Hello,
I know you're there.
We say that to ourselves,
To the feelings inside.
So I thought,
Okay.
Take you through a process.
What if I just feel bad?
Now,
If you don't feel bad right now in any way,
That's great,
Bless your heart.
And you could take some other feelings.
And I also want to talk before I start the process about this word bad,
Feeling bad.
It makes me smile.
Because it's sort of a child's word.
I feel bad.
It's not a very sophisticated word.
It's not a differentiated work.
And yet,
Eugene Gentlen,
My mentor,
Used that word in one of his most famous sayings.
Which is.
.
.
Every bad feeling.
Is potential energy.
For a more right way of being if you give it space.
To move toward its rightness.
Every bad feeling and he really means kind of generic,
No matter what.
We could give it more,
The feeling could have more specific names and it will get them.
But the first thing I know when I.
Well,
First thing I knew when I woke up this morning is.
Ugh,
I feel bad.
And that's the starting point.
That could be the starting point.
Shall we do something together now?
Let's pause.
I'm inviting you to do it,
And I'll do it too.
Pause to be aware of how you're sitting.
And if instead of sitting,
You're lying down or standing,
That's okay too.
Just be aware.
Maybe being aware of breathing as well.
And let awareness come.
To yourself.
Perhaps to your body.
Throat,
Chest,
Stomach,
Belly.
Perhaps to your sense of who you are inside.
Your feeling of yourself right now.
I noticed I just.
.
.
Took an extra deeper breath right there,
Because for me,
This much,
This pausing to sense.
Already helps.
There's another deeper breath.
And notice these deeper breaths that may be coming for you too,
Because Often in this self-awareness process.
A deeper breath means.
There's a step.
There's a deepening.
There's a little opening,
There's a little relaxing.
The breath itself tells us.
A lot.
So we're pausing.
Bringing awareness to something that's felt right now.
And remembering our Charmingly generic phrase.
Feels bad.
So.
.
.
Make a welcome.
I'm going to do that too.
I'm going to make a welcome for whatever in me feels.
Bah!
Right now.
Got another deeper breath when I did that.
And there's kind of a,
I don't know yet.
That,
Yeah,
There's something.
But there's slot,
I don't know.
I don't know exactly where it is.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know why it is.
But there's something.
And my awareness comes.
To my body.
Noticing if.
There's an area,
A place in my body where I especially feel.
This thing I'm calling bad,
Bad feelings.
It's kind of.
.
.
Kind of down here.
You could call it stomach or solar plexus.
Helps me to close my eyes.
Yeah,
There it is.
Now we have a relationship.
I am noticing this.
I am aware of.
Let's build on that relationship by speaking directly.
To it.
So I'm going to say.
To it?
Hello,
I know you're there.
Oh,
I just felt another.
Relaxing.
In my butt,
Actually.
Flowing,
Settling into where I'm sitting.
Hello,
I know you're there.
I am not asking why.
I'm not looking for ways to make it feel better.
I'm just saying.
Hello,
I know you're there.
And another thing I can say is,
And I'm with you now.
So do it.
Follow along and notice what happens for you,
Gwendolyn.
Okay,
Something is here.
I'm aware of something.
I can even let go of the word bad.
It helped me.
Know that there was something that needed my attention now.
I'll let go of the word bad if I want to.
And just be with the something that's here.
Kind of in the stomach area for me.
Notice where it is for you.
And already something has shifted,
And this is the power of inner relationship.
Is that before I did this,
I sort of felt I had a feeling about feeling bad.
Which was,
What's wrong?
How annoying.
I'd rather feel good.
But now.
.
.
Choosing to pause,
Choosing to turn toward,
Choosing to be with,
Choosing to say,
I am here with you now.
There's a lot of calm.
Any trying to fix.
There's not a feeling that something needs fixing.
Notice how it is for you.
And really noticing,
I'm really noticing that the question why does it feel this way is really not in my consciousness.
I called it back because I wanted to Notice,
Where is why in all this?
I don't really.
I am with this and it gets to be the way it is.
If it wants to show me something.
If it wants to show me what it's about.
Wait a minute,
I'll see if it does.
It didn't,
Not yet anyway.
But the relationship that I am here with this.
And it gets to be the way it is.
Is really kind of key.
I can tell that my overall mood has really shifted.
I I the whole me feels a kind of lightness or a lighter feeling like It's OK.
To have this feeling.
It's okay and I'm okay.
