Hey everybody it's Alyssa here and what I wanted to talk about today is a giver-taker situation.
So something that I notice sometimes is that we can fall into the role of being a giver and we can end up being in a situation where we are the giver and another person is the taker.
And what I think about with this is that I've had experiences where I was so set on giving and giving and giving and giving because I wanted to do what I could to be a good person and to do good you know for others that on the other side of things there can be a person that takes the role of taker.
And what I've recognized with this is that the person that's the giver just keeps giving and giving and they're getting hurt but they just keep doing it because they want to do good and the taker just keeps taking because the giver keeps giving.
And I don't see any judgment or anything like that for giver or taker it's not that it's that there is an imbalance of serving self and serving others that we create in our own lives you know unconsciously not really realizing what's happening and what happens is after so long it really takes a toll on the giver and the giver just has to give up at a certain point because there's no more energy to spare mentally,
Emotionally,
Spiritually you know and the taker and whenever the taker realizes that the giver stops giving the taker is confused and is like why is this happening this is who you've been all this time but the taker doesn't understand that you know it really takes a toll on the giver to a point where they have to give up because it isn't a healthy balance of serving self and serving others and I think that a lot of us fall into these roles either the giver or the taker there's no judgment you know we don't really know what's happening and basically everyone is trying to get their needs met whether they know that or not and there's a lot of different ways that people get their needs met so it took me a long time to realize that I had so much stress and so much anxiety in so many situations and I caused it for myself I was worried if you know I did this this or this how it would affect this person and you know I went down my own trail of anxiety you know with each situation wondering how it would affect the other person and what they would think of me or you know who knows it just goes on and on and I had to realize that I didn't have a healthy balance of serving self and serving others most the time I was thinking way more about the other person and how they felt down to every detail of the most detailed care I could think of and I did that without having any regard for myself I thought that if I could just always make everything better if I could fill these voids if I could just keep you know being peaceful trying to do everything I could to keep everything stable that I was doing a good job but I didn't realize that it was tearing me down mentally and emotionally and spiritually well and physically physically too which I can get on a topic another day but so anyway I think it's important that we understand that sometimes this happens and there isn't judgment for either person it's that we have to understand the role that we take on and a lot of times I've accidentally taken on that giver role but we have to have our self love and self-care we matter too I had to realize I matter too I just kept thinking of everyone in such high regard in a sense I was holding everyone up on a pedestal around me and not really putting myself you know on a very worthy scale and that's something that you know I'm learning and I'm figuring that out but I think this situation is pretty common and I think that it's just a matter of time before we realize how it affects us and then what can we do you know to change that and for me I had so many stressful situations happening and I just stopped everything that I was doing what I held to be like what I valued and I just stopped everything to realize you know what's motivating me and I realized that to the extent of how much I wanted to care went way farther than what my responsibility really should have been which I'm only responsible for myself and if my actions cause a disruption in someone else's life because I stood up for myself it doesn't mean that that's wrong it means that has to play out and each person has to understand what there is to understand at that time and so yeah so that's just what I wanted to talk about today and understand that there are these different things about this give or take a role that we can understand and figure out how to give more self-love and self-care back to ourselves whatever that means you know and for me it helped to cut off a lot of communication so I could see what was actually happening and I'm like yeah I have to love myself now and I have to figure out what it means to love myself you know and that could be anything and it's different for each person you know there is a healthy balance out there for each of us we just have to trust in our instinct and know that whatever impact we make because we made the choice to be ourselves in that moment whatever that was we have to accept that and know that's what it's supposed to be because we all need to learn from each other that's why we need to make our own choices no matter you know what happens no matter what outcome that is we have to accept that and know that that's going to help us more to go through that situation and understand what there is to see so that's what I wanted to talk about today and I hope everybody has a super awesome day and thank you so much for listening love and light to everybody
