Hey everyone,
This is Alyssa.
What I would like to speak about today is acceptance of myself and letting go of other people's responses.
These are two things that I believe go hand in hand together.
And the reason that I would like to speak about this is that I feel like I've always had a hard time accepting myself and there's a lot of different reasons for this and one of the things is I felt like it was my job to make other people happy and if I was doing my best in a situation to make someone else happy and then I received a negative response from that,
That led to me regretting who I am,
Feeling guilty about who I am,
Being mad at myself for who I am and things like this and I didn't really understand that we all have a range of emotions that we are supposed to experience.
We all have different experiences that are meant just for us and no matter how another person feels at any time,
Any day,
Any moment,
That I know that's valid because I know that for myself and I know that for other people too and that's something that I haven't really been able to understand for a long time so I'm learning more about that right now that no matter how anyone responds to anything I'm doing,
You know,
That's their experience and their world,
Their reality and they're in whatever state of mind they're in for whatever reason,
The reason that I say that is because what I've recognized with myself is that,
You know,
Say that I'm not in a very good mood,
That if somebody says something really nice to me,
For example,
I may have more of a negative response because I'm not feeling good about myself and kind of puts me in this like zone where I feel like I'm in this like negative thought bubble that's surrounding me,
I guess you could say,
And like I'm just in that black cloud of all of those negative thoughts.
That's the best way for me to describe it and say when I'm not in a good mood or having a bad day or something like that and we're all allowed to have bad days,
We're all allowed to feel the way we're supposed to feel and we have our emotions and our experiences for a reason and I'm accepting this more with myself because,
You know,
I used to beat myself up over if I was sad all the time and,
You know,
That was causing a problem or,
You know,
If I was happy and then maybe other people didn't,
You know,
Accept my happiness and then I thought,
Well,
Maybe,
You know,
I should change to be this way and change to be that way.
So like every time when I was in a situation and how I was acting or being and when I would receive a negative response in the situation,
That always told me for some reason,
Oh,
There must be something wrong with me,
I must not be doing something right and it always left me in this constant like anxiety of how should I act,
How should I be,
What should I do and,
You know,
It was,
It's something hard to understand and I'm still learning about this but this is what I wanted to talk about today about accepting who I am and letting go of other people's responses because every person is made to be who they are.
So my thoughts,
My feelings,
My emotions,
My actions,
My interest,
The way that I cope or whatever the expansion is of who I am,
That's how it's supposed to be and that's how it is for every person.
So I think it's more about learning the controlled variables of what we know is and trusting in those controlled variables,
Those universal truths and I feel like that way we can build positive thoughts towards coexistence and what it means to coexist rather than,
You know,
Seeing everyone else as the enemy every time our feelings get hurt or,
You know,
Feel like we can't accept who we are,
Things like that,
That there's a deeper truth there behind our pain that we can learn more about and discover and really realize that no one is the enemy,
It's things that we have to take care of in ourselves and maybe redirect and change,
You know,
Maybe that thought that I kept having that it was my fault,
That's all I knew at that time,
You know,
I guess that's all I could understand at that time.
So if we have a chance where,
You know,
We can look at things a little bit differently or redirect our anger to how can I find my peace,
A redirect anger and sadness,
I guess,
And like how do I find my peace and kind of redirect that and find things that are going to help you and those things that you find that help you in a way that's you developing your self-love and self-care practice and I feel like that's super important because we all need our own like resources that we fall back on and that we rely on and,
You know,
It's different for every person,
Maybe you need to go take a walk out in nature,
Maybe just resting or taking a drive or,
You know,
Reading a book,
You know,
Doing breathing and meditation,
There's different things that you can find that are of your interest that can help bring you peace and I feel like that's a really helpful way to get through things in life and maybe I'm getting off topic here but anyway,
So I'm finding more ways to accept who I am and let go of other people's responses because I know that the response from other people is constantly changing and the feedback is always going to be,
You know,
Within that range of anything from positive to negative and I've always relied on that feedback to inform me of,
You know,
My value or my worth.
I've always used that feedback to tell me if I'm,
You know,
Being a good person or something like that and I realized that I needed to be the one trusting myself and giving myself that pep talk of like,
Okay,
I'm doing the best that I can,
I am learning too,
This is my experience and,
You know,
It's inevitable to have the expansion of this existence that I'm in,
This is the expansion of my existence and I'm not going to constantly beat myself up for it or feel like I'm doing something wrong and just thinking more about that and changing my thoughts to something that are more helpful because I think it is more learning about the universal truths of who we are personally and as a collective and working towards those positive thoughts of coexistence and what we can do to help ourselves and help others and live in a peaceful way of life.
So I think that's all that I have to say about that for right now and thank you all so much for being here.
I super appreciate it and I hope everybody has the great rest of your day or night.
Thank you so much.
