Learning About Self-Worth

I share my experiences of how I have been looking for people or situations around me to provide the security, safety, acceptance, and worthiness that I was searching for in my life. I am learning more about how I have placed my self-worth into the hands of the people around me as a way of life. I am learning new ways to implement the self-love and self-care that I need to support healthy ways to give myself the security, safety, acceptance and worthiness that I have always needed. It is up to me to create the thoughts and the life that I want to have for myself.

Transcript

Hey there, It's Alyssa again. So what I would like to talk about today is I will no longer let other people have control or have power over how I feel about myself. And I have had several different experiences where I have been able to understand this lesson and I'll go ahead and use a work example for this one. So I've had a lot of different jobs and after a few jobs down the road, I had come to this realization in one of my jobs and I was always trying to do the best job, Always trying to make my boss happy, You know, And all these things. And how I understood that I was seeing myself, Like objectively looking at myself, I could see myself looking up at my boss and looking in his eyes and the thought that was in my head was, Am I good enough now? Will I be good enough? Am I good enough? And I realized that that's what I've been doing with everyone around me and I've constantly been looking to other people to approve of me or accept me or to make me feel like I'm good enough, Like somehow I was putting that in other people's hands and I didn't realize that's what I was doing and I was being hurt over and over and over and over again. And I cared so much about what other people thought of me and I always wanted to do everything I could to be good and to prove myself and to hope other people, You know, Would love me for who I am and I was always just trying so hard to be the right person for who I was around and in that I lost more of myself and I didn't realize I was seeking love and approval and acceptance outside of myself. I didn't understand how hard I was looking for that and that was why I was being let down so much and from my understanding is that we have unmet needs that happen in our childhood so then when we grow up as adults, We're still looking for these needs to be met and I have noticed that with myself, With acceptance, Approval, Self-worth, Security, Protection, There's a lot of things where I've experienced that where I realized I was looking for these things outside of myself and I want to be able to share this so I can help other people and see if this relates to other people in any way and I'll just say one example that I had that has to do with security and protection is my most recent job there when I first started there, There was a general manager that was my boss and he was super amazing and super great and he cared for the employees and he really understood us and he really showed us how much he cared and he was a great person and I was so happy, I was so happy that there was such an amazing boss and my life was going easier and I was like, Wow, I've been looking for a good boss for so long and I realized I had went from job to job looking for a great boss so I feel safe, So I feel secure, So I feel comfortable. I realized I had been looking for that in a boss for so long and the only reason I came to find out how much I invested into someone else when I should have been investing in myself was my boss decided that he was going to go somewhere else, You know, And move on and I was really happy for him. Well when he told me that he was going to be leaving, That he had like a week or two left, All of a sudden my, Like I just completely went out of emotional balance and I completely just was hysterical and I was like, My security and my safety is leaving, He made me feel safe and secure and now it's leaving, What am I supposed to do? And all of a sudden I was in this hopeless state and I was like, Wow, Why in the world, Why did I, You know, How is this happening right now? And I realized that I had, You know, Relied on him for safety and security and protection, That I wasn't doing that for myself, That I was looking for a person that was going to provide that at a workplace to make the workplace good and we should not be looking in a person, Place or situation for that. And I had to have my own experience where I realized, Oh, This is what I'm doing. And I'm happy that I was able to see that's where I was placing my safety and security. And and then whenever he left, You know, I was able to be more strong and stand on my own and understand, I do have this, Everything is okay. And I know that it's always going to be okay, Because I tell myself that it's always going to be okay. And yeah, I was really able to move forward and understand more about that. So you know, There's no rush to any of this. And we're all gonna find out what we need to know when we need to know it. And I've trusted in that for a long time that I trust that I will know what I need to know when I need to know it, That right now is exactly the way that it's supposed to be. And we're on a journey of self discovery, And we're going to learn more things. And the more that we figure out these things, The more of ourself that we get back. So there's never any time lost. And this is all something really great that we can appreciate each part of our journey, Because each part of our journey means something. And it matters. And we all matter. And each part that we are playing right now matters. And we're all here to teach each other something. So if we want to be open to seeing what there is to learn, And maybe understanding that we're not always right, Like we think we're right. And you know, It just leaves it open to possibilities and limitless potential, Which is a really good thing that we do have in our life is limitless potential. So anyway, That's what I wanted to say today about that. And I hope everybody has a super great rest of the day. And thank you guys so much for listening.