Hi everybody it's Alyssa here and I'm on here today because I would like to talk about an experience that I had and a lesson that I was able to learn and what I call this is no one has to change for me.
So basically I was in a situation where I was working with a difficult co-worker and I'm sure a lot of people have had the situation happen before and I think it's a pretty common thing.
So what I experienced is that I kept getting frustrated and frustrated with what was going on and and so I was at work one day and I was getting mad at this person and it was kind of tipping me over the edge a little bit and then I started to get mad that I was you know being thrown out of my balance I guess you could say.
And so I went on my lunch break and then I came back and when I came back I was more calm and I looked at her and as soon as I looked at her I could see the pain in her eyes and I've also recognized that pain in my own eyes as well and other people.
And so when I looked at her I saw that and then my thought was no one has to change for me and I thought yeah that's true.
Who am I to say what that person should be experiencing,
Who they should or should not be,
All these different things and that's not right of me to say anything about that person's experience,
Existence or anything like that because that is disrespectful and I know that we all are on our own journey right now and it's not for anyone to say what that should or shouldn't look like and it's not for anyone else to have power over that.
And so for a long time I went from job to job and I was always mad at everyone around me that I thought was difficult because I always thought I would really like to work in a good work environment,
I wanted to do everything I could to make it a good work environment and in my eyes if I thought that things weren't going well I always thought it was everybody else to blame and what I learned a few months ago is I was judging that person on some level for them not being who I wanted them to be and I wanted them to be different to make my life easier to think that you know if things aren't going right well that must be your fault you know because I have my own bias of course but you know there are also difficult people out there too but we're not supposed to be fighting that we're not supposed to be fighting that person because that person is going through whatever they're supposed to be going through for a reason and we need to be able to understand that's actually what's happening and be able to set our boundaries more and become stronger and our own and move through it and see what there is to understand and when we hold judgment for people and you know create this resentment and anger and hatred it's really going nowhere and it doesn't even make sense to follow that path and be upset from that over and over again and the reason I say this is because I did that for most of my life kept hitting a dead end and I was up against the person you know and that's not fair to that person it's just none of it none of it is a good way to think about it so I was lucky that I was able to have the chance to understand more of a truth of how I was thinking and how I wasn't right like I thought I was right and we have to respect other people and what they're going through because we've also went through our own things as well and it's hard to be able to navigate it and we're all doing the best that we can right now so this is just what I wanted to talk about for no one has to change for me and this was my lesson that I had that no one has to change for me I just have to learn how to take care of myself better and also another thing that helped me so much was I've been given my own life and that is what I have and I have to take care of what I've been given this is my gift this is my privilege my own life and at the end of the day I can't let other things take away my peace because my peace is too important I have to take care of what I've been given I'm not going to sit here and be mad at this person did this or this person is doing that like that's their life that's their journey it's not supposed to be any different at all and people shouldn't have to change just to make our lives easier that person wants to change on their own free will great but that's not for anyone to say what their journey should or shouldn't be and I had to realize that and I've had a lot more freedom that has come with that as well and giving love to the other person and also giving love to myself that you know this is all supposed to be this way and I'm going to take care of myself better so anyway that's what I would like to say about that and I hope everybody has an awesome great day and I'll talk to you soon
