Your Window Of Tolerance

The concept of the 'Window Of Tolerance' comes from neuroscience and trauma research, originally described by Dr. Dan Siegel. It helps explain how we process stress and emotions. Learning about your window of tolerance can be really helpful in understanding yourself and growing your self-compassion.

Reviews

The “window of tolerance” offers practical knowledge and hope for personal growth on the path of life. Thank you Amanda!

Wonderful information. Thank you Amanda for sharing. I will be looking for more videos from you.

Thank you, Amanda, for such a coherent and accessible explanation of zones green, red, and blue. The model lends itself to easy comprehension.
I am interested in your gentle approach to somatic modalities as they intersect with experienced trauma—provided that I’m even characterizing what you do with sufficient accuracy and understanding.

Given this, here’s one for you... When Covid hit the country in which I reside, it left millions in its wake who struggled with a constellation of unexplained and seemingly unrelated symptoms. There were all manner of labels and names thrown at the condition, most of which you’ll find in proper medical literature. Here in the States, most people and physicians simply refer to it as “long covid.”

One particular preexisting mild symptom that became hypersensitized in me is a condition called misophonia. It is essentially the intolerance of certain sounds and noises. (It’s more complex than that, but this should suffice for our purposes.)

Long after the primary ailment had left the body, I was left with a profound sensitivity to all manner of random noises. That backup alert that heavier trucks and machinery make? now drives me immediately into a desperate rage to make it stop, somehow. The sound of people talking through their yawns (weird, perhaps), is even worse. Babies crying; dogs barking, and thumping music from vehicles…all of that cruel cacophony creates an immediate hellish experience for me.

My point is that my “tolerance” threshold for this particlar malady has dropped into the basement after covid, which means that I’m suddenly, involuntarily thrown into the “red zone” the very second that these noises arise in my environment (and, don’t even get me started on chainsaws or leaf blowers(!)). When I am around other people and it is triggered, things become especially tricky. I’m beyond tired of even trying to explain it to others.

So. What advice or words of wisdom might you extend to someone with this peculiar condition? It’s so very difficulty to try to “think oneself to a place of calm,” and slamming my ears shut with all manner of gear (kit) just isn’t realistic or practicable. I welcome whatever your views, and, before you ask: yes, I have spoken to a specialist in the medical field about it, and their suggestion was to put me on an anti-psychotic type of medication. (Thanks, but, No thanks!)

[Edit—9-2-2026: Amanda, I just wanted to respond with deep gratitude for your tremendous and supremely generous reply. I was floored and touched by it, and there is a lot to work with in there. Thank you for helping me see different ways that I can “be” with this condition’s episodes. I love the idea of making space for it, rather than furiously trying to dispel the body and mind reaction. And your kind view on compassion is such a timely reminder—and for us all! Thank you again so very much for your thoughtfulness, time, expertise and care. Sending love across The Pond! 💕]

Thank you Amanda. I would like to edit and review this later as I got interrupted quite a few times and wasn't able to listen properly even though I was playing it before going to bed. Perhaps quite ironic as i found that stressful! It was very helpful when you talked about how everyone is unique in their ability to deal with tension. There are some things I find very difficult. One of these is the feeling of shame. My nervous system finds it extremely difficult to process this. I notice I really shut down and try and keep myself small when this happens.
I look forward to listening to this video properly and also the one after this
Thank you for everything you do here Amanda. Your work is invaluable and I am incredibly grateful for it.

I am listening to this video again. The pointers you give are so helpful. There is so much useful information that I have to listen to it many times.

I am still listening to this video. I am going to write down some notes Amanda. Thank you so much.

Thank you for sharing your warm and helpful guidance 🙏