This meditation is called the pain of disconnection.
It can be useful after we might have received a hurtful remark.
Start by finding a comfortable position,
Really comfortable.
You might take a moment to connect with the ground under your feet or perhaps your body in the chair or whatever your body is resting on.
Perhaps your yoga mat,
Noticing the whole body being held there.
Really letting yourself feel the support of that surface.
Gently now bringing attention to the feeling of breathing.
Perhaps noticing wherever the breath is easiest to feel in the body.
Maybe in the nostrils or the rise and fall of the chest or abdomen.
Perhaps it might even be the the whole body moving subtly with the breath,
The rhythm of the breath.
Noticing how is the body feeling right now.
If you like you might place a hand on your heart or another part of the body as a gesture of kindness and support.
Now bringing to mind that recent hurtful remark you received.
Just enough to let yourself feel the impact the remark had on you,
Particularly the feelings in the body.
As best you can try not to get lost in the story or sometimes that angry back-and-forth in the mind.
These are completely understandable human reactions.
Perhaps letting the story or the angry back-and-forth know it can come back later.
But right now can you drop down into the sensations in your body.
Checking out where do you feel the emotion the most.
In your chest,
Your shoulders,
Belly,
Your arms or hands,
Your legs.
The first response is often anger or another we might call fierce emotion.
And right now please remember anger is not wrong.
It's a protector.
It's entirely necessary.
It can help us set boundaries.
So whatever emotion you're feeling can you let it be there.
If it's anger it might need some more space.
Can you possibly invite some openness into your experience?
Perhaps you could breathe more space into and around the anger.
In the mindfulness world we we often say that emotions like anger might need a bigger pasture to let the energy it's holding move through.
Like a bucking horse with a fence just around it could be totally overwhelming but if we could take that fence away and it's in a big pasture it might be doing exactly the same thing but the energy is much easier.
Perhaps you can label the emotion.
Anger,
Frustration,
Resentment or whatever it is.
Allowing it as best you can.
And anger or other fierce emotions might stay as they are and sometimes they might start shifting into something else.
There might be other emotions underneath.
If this is happening for you right now can you notice what's the emotion underneath?
Sadness?
Grief?
Hopelessness?
Loneliness?
Whatever arises can you stay gentle with it?
Can you hold it gently like that fist in that open soft warm hand?
Can you breathe with it?
Remember that it's in the nature of emotions to change and flow.
Can you allow that change and flow to happen?
Perhaps labeling the emotion if it's changed,
Shifted with a really soft tone of voice.
Is it possible to validate whatever hurt you're feeling right now?
Checking out some phrases that might be helpful.
Maybe oh it's so hard to feel this or this is a difficult moment or others would feel the same in my position.
You might even send yourself some kind soft wishes if that feels helpful.
May I be gentle with myself.
May I feel safe or something else that feels right for you.
You might like to try out repeating these phrases gently and softly internally or perhaps just a hand on your heart or the part of the body that's feeling the emotion would feel right.
Take a minute now to notice if anything is emerging.
No need to go to the head to think.
Perhaps there's some kind of action that is naturally emerging.
Something you you want or need to do after the meditation or perhaps later.
Maybe you feel the urge to call a friend for support or write an email to the person who hurt you or let it go.
Holding whatever emerges with the same space and gentleness if you can as you've been holding your emotions.
When you're ready letting go of the practice and coming back to the breath or perhaps the soles of your feet for a little while.
And then just staying in your experience whatever it is right now.
Perhaps sending yourself a bit of appreciation for taking this wise mindful compassionate break.
When you're ready moving the body gently opening the eyes and finding your way to the next part of your day.
