Return To Self 7: Who Do You No Longer Want To Be?

Before we can step into a truer self, there is an uncomfortable question we have to be willing to ask: who do I no longer want to be? In this session, we begin the next phase of the Return to Self journey by turning toward the current identity — the old patterns, roles, beliefs, and ways of being that may still be shaping our choices without us realizing it. I’ll guide you through a practice I call The Fire Method to help you see those parts clearly, admit what has been true without judging yourself, and begin releasing what you no longer want leading your life. This isn’t about rejecting who you’ve been — it’s about becoming honest enough to recognize what no longer belongs. If you want to listen to the other tracks in this series, visit the curated "Return to Self" playlist on Anthony's profile.

Transcript

There's one question we must answer first before stepping into a truer identity. Hey there, Friend. Thanks for hitting play today. In part 6 of this series, We explored the idea of manifestation through authenticity. That manifestation has to be rooted in truth. And that the future self is not only better but truer, More honest, Authentic, And aligned with what has been trying to emerge through you all along. But before we can live from that self, We have to point that honesty at something most of us would rather avoid. We have to look at who we've been. Our current identity. Also known as the old self. The identity that has been running this show. The one making decisions before we even realize we're making them. The one choosing safety over truth, Approval over honesty, What is familiar over freedom. Which brings us to the core question for today. And it's simple. Who do you no longer want to be? And this can be a powerful question. When axed with genuine curiosity. So in this session, We begin the next phase of this return to self journey. Meeting the current identity. And the first step is what I call facing the fire. Recognizing who you've been and admitting it with honesty, Courage, And gentleness. So you can clearly answer that question. Who do I no longer want to be? And begin releasing it. Into the fire. And that's the process we'll begin today. So you might hear all this and think, What is he talking about? I don't want to sit here naming all my faults. But just to be clear, This isn't about fault-finding or shaming yourself. Or reliving the past to beat yourself up over it. It's about seeing honestly and saying with care, Yes, This is how I've been. And no, It's not who I want to continue being. Because it's impossible to shift what we refuse to see. So notice what comes up when you imagine looking honestly at your current identity. Fear, Judgment, Avoidance. That resistance is part of the fire we're going to contact today. Here's something most of us have a hard time seeing. Your current identity is not the final version of you. It's not your essence. It's a collection of memorized patterns, Absorbed conditioning, And roles you were handed long before you knew you had a choice. Maybe someone told you, You're the sensitive one. Or maybe you're the smart one. Or you'll never be athletic. And maybe it wasn't spoken at all. Maybe you learned, Just by moving through the world, That vulnerability meant weakness. That silence was safer than speaking up. That your worth was measured in diplomas and the numbers in your bank account. Maybe you came to believe that your anger should stay buried. That your dreams should be practical. That your needs should always come last. And so you lived into it. Day after day, Thought by thought. Those grooves deepened. Until the path felt permanent beneath your feet. For me, One of the stories was shyness. I heard it so often, It became a truth carved into me. Anthony's the shy, Quiet kid. And so I lived into that program. I didn't wake up every day choosing shyness. It was chosen for me. I memorized it and performed it until it felt like who I was. But at some point I had to recognize and admit this story wasn't mine. So think about it for yourself. What labels were handed to you early on? What stories do you carry about your worth, Safety, Or place in the world? Did you choose them? Or did they choose you? The more we repeat those emotional grooves, The more solid they seem, Until eventually they feel inevitable. And you end up recreating the same life again and again. And that's the stuck place of, Why can't I just change my life that we can find ourselves in? Because you can't create a new reality while you're still gripping on to the habits, Emotions, And beliefs of your current one. But naming the story gives you power. Seeing it clearly, Without judgment, Moves you into a state of neutrality. Will you no longer identify with it or label it as bad? Which gives you the freedom to say, This isn't who I really am. Not anymore. That is the place you want to get to by facing parts of your current identity and admitting it's who you've been. So I'm going to guide you through what I call the FIRE method, An exercise of truly meeting your current identity. And I call it that because examining the current identity is like setting a piece of yourself on fire. Because to admit who you've been is to hold yourself to the flame, To watch what no longer belongs get burned away. So I'm going to guide you to identify the parts of your current identity that no longer serve you. And that you're ready to face and let go of. Then, For each one, You'll admit with honesty, Yes, This is who I've been, And then symbolically release each one into the fire. But we're not burning these parts because they are weak or inferior. We're letting the truth that's revealed wake us up to every way we think, Feel, And act that's misaligned with the person we want to step into. So it becomes obvious which parts of ourselves shouldn't be in charge anymore. So you can do this as a guided practice by closing your eyes and following along with the reflections, Or you can do it as a journaling exercise. If you are journaling though, Feel free to hit pause after each question to complete your answers. And if any of this practice gets overwhelming or heavy, I encourage you to give yourself a break. Step away from it and come back to it in a few days when you're ready. So let's settle ourselves briefly. And clear a little space with the breath. And just take a few grounding, Deep breaths. To slow yourself down. Become aware of your body. And gently place your hand on your heart. And notice it beating for a moment. And take three conscious cycles of breath. Breathing in through the heart. On the inhale. And letting the breath fall out through the heart. On the exhale. So inhale. In through the heart. And exhale out through the heart. You can do this at your own time and pace. So our first step is to get clear on the current identity that no longer serves us. So ask yourself gently. Who have I been? That no longer serves me. And is out of alignment. With the life I want. Who is that person? And you can explore. What emotions? Mindsets? And patterns that you memorize. That perhaps has kept you small. Unhappy at times or unfulfilled with life. What old stories are you still carrying that were handed down by others? What do you believe you are capable of? And not capable of. And why? So your goal here is to get a clear and thorough understanding of all the ways you think, Feel, Act, And carry yourself. That betray the truer self you want to step into. So be curious and try to be as specific and detailed as possible. Who do you no longer want to be? And again, Remember, You're looking at this from a place of neutrality. Non-judgmental, Kind awareness. Not false findings. These reflections aren't meant to judge you. They're meant to set you free. And you don't need to trace every pattern back to its origin. Heal it or understand exactly how it formed. You're just bringing fully to light. All the ways that your old historical self limits you. That's the whole assignment right now. So put a light smile on your face. Because again, We can't shift. What we refuse to look at. Or what we're only vaguely aware of. Now, Here comes the harder part. Naming these patterns is one thing, Admitting that this has truly been a part of your identity is another. So I want you to choose two or three aspects of your current self that you just identified, That feel most important right now. Ones that you're genuinely ready to let go of. You can name them in your mind again. Or write them down somewhere. And I want you to briefly revisit them. Briefly review how they reveal themselves in your life and limit you. Because now we must face the fire directly and don't look away from what it lights up. Feel for each aspect you just named of your current identity that you're ready to let go of. Acknowledge with humility, With care. With the love that you have for yourself. And with honesty. Yes. This is who I've been. Speak it out loud if you need to. Yes, This is who I've been. And notice what happens when you say it. You don't need to defend it. You don't need to explain it. You don't need to punish yourself for it. Just admit what is true. Because once you can admit the truth to yourself, Without judgment, Resistance, Or excuses, You begin to neutralize the grip that story has on you. Now, Our last step of the fire method is to surrender these aspects of your current identity, Offering it to the fire. So for each aspect of your current identity, That you just admitted to yourself. You're going to gently bring it to mind again. And briefly see how it shows itself in your life, That is the image you'll bring to the fire. So imagine a great fire in your mind's eyes. And call to mind one of the parts of yourself that you're ready to let go of. And see how it reveals itself. And when you have the image or the felt sense of it clearly in your awareness. Watch yourself placing it directly into that fire. Letting it go. And watching it burn. And stay there. You might see it burned as a specific scene from your life being engulfed in flames. Or you might see it as a page from your journal where this part of the old story slowly disintegrates. Stay with it for a moment. And then repeat it for the other aspects of yourself. Placing each one into the fire, Letting it go and watching it burn. Let yourself see clearly. Where you're no longer willing to let lead your life. And when you're ready, Let all the images in your mind go. And just come back to your body. And the space around you. One important thing before we close. The point of this process is not to erase a pattern in one sitting. It's to become clear enough about the old patterns that you can begin recognizing them when they appear. That clarity is critical. It's what remains in the ashes when you release the old self to the fire. And that is the raw material of the self you're returning to. Because the old identity has been practiced for a long time. So it still might show up in the same places where it always has. But your job right now is simply to get better at seeing it. Great work today. I know we went through a lot in this one, So thanks for sticking through it with me. Give yourself some acknowledgement for doing this work. And if you experienced any resistance during this process, That's okay and likely expected. Just give yourself the time and space you need to move through this work in your own way, Gently. And again, I can't say this enough. Remember, This isn't a practice of self-rejection. It's a practice of radical honesty and a reminder that your own self is not the whole story. It never was. So while the nature of this work isn't easy, You can meet it with gratitude for the insight and the wisdom you're uncovering. Because the fire doesn't come to destroy you. It comes to awaken the spark you've carried that's been burning all along. And your continued willingness to face that fire will show you clearly. This way of being helped me survive? But it doesn't have to leave my life now.