How To Build A Life You Love

00:30

17:17

How To Build A Life You Love

by Veerle Beelen Da Costa David

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

3

This talk explores how to build a life that feels authentic, meaningful, and aligned with who you truly are. You’ll learn how self-knowledge, belonging, relationships, surroundings, and everyday choices can shape a life you love. Through gentle reflection and practical questions, you’ll identify what energizes you, recognize when change may be needed, and strengthen your self-trust. Ideal for anyone interested in personal growth, intentional living, self-discovery, authenticity, and life transitions.

Purpose Discovery Life Transitions Self Coaching Practice Personal Growth Self Discovery Authenticity Relationships Comparison Avoidance

Meet your Teacher

Veerle Beelen Da Costa David

Sydney NSW, Australia

Meet your Teacher

Veerle Beelen Da Costa David

Sydney NSW, Australia

Transcript

I want to talk to you about something that sounds simple, But it's actually quite a big question to ask yourself. How do you build a life you love? And it's really about building something, Building a life that doesn't just look good on the outside, Not a life that needs to be validated or that needs to make sense to anyone else but you, But really a life that feels like yours. Because I think many of us, We reach a point where we look at our lives and wonder, Is this really what I want? Is this, You know, Based on the choices you made or the expectations you had, Is this really where life has taken me so far? You And maybe at this point, Nothing is really wrong, But maybe something just feels off. Or you might feel restless or disconnected. Or your life maybe just looks beautiful, But maybe there's this voice, This quiet voice inside of yourself that feels like, Okay, Is this it? So I want to explore the ingredients of a life you love, How to really discover what it means to you and also what it means to me. And some of the signs that might tell you that it might be time for a change. And I want to start by saying that a life you love does not mean a perfect life. It doesn't mean feeling happy all the time. I mean, That's not even realistic, Right? I mean, We all have our challenges, Uncertainty, Difficult seasons in our life, Our ups and downs, And that's what makes life worth living as well. For me, It's really about creating a life that feels meaningful, A life that I feel like I don't have to escape from. Not a life in which I just live for the weekends or for the holidays. And one of the first things we need to do is to stop comparing our lives to other people's lives. And I know that's easier said than done, Especially when, You know, You spend time on social media like me and you see the highlights of other people. And you feel like, Okay, That's the life they're living all the time. And then we start thinking, Maybe that's what I also should want. Maybe if I created that life, I would be happy too, Because those people seem happy. And of course, There's nothing wrong with using someone else's life as inspiration. Sometimes it's actually it's helpful to see someone else's life and realize, Oh, Wow, I didn't even know that's possible. That's so cool. I never thought about doing something like that. So in that sense, It can expand your perspectives. But inspiration and imitation are two very different things. You cannot really copy and paste someone else's life into your own life. It just doesn't fit. We are all on our own unique journey. We have our own history, Our beliefs. Our personality, Our dreams, Our career, Our own definition of fulfillment and of success. So what maybe feels expensive. To one person might feel exhausting to another person. Or what might feel peaceful to you. Might sound boring to someone else. And that's completely okay. So it's really asking yourself, Okay, What is it about their life that I'm actually responding to? Maybe you don't want their exact career, But maybe there's something in what they're doing that sparks something in you. Or maybe you don't want to move to the same place, But. . . The lifestyle that someone is having inspires you. So look at those things and really look underneath the image that you see. Find the feeling or the value that attracts you. And also consider how you could create your own version of it. Because eventually that's the most important thing. And besides that, You cannot really build a life you love if you don't really know the person who is building it. And that's you, Right? If you don't really know yourself, How can you know what you want? And if you don't know what you want, How can you intentionally create it? So this is why building a life you love. Really starts with getting to know yourself better. For example, What are your values? What matters to you, Not what should matter. But what actually matters. And what makes you feel alive? What makes you lose track of time? What are you curious about? What kind of environments really makes you feel alive or makes you feel more grounded or at home? And what often happens. Is that as adults we go back to what we love doing as a child. So you can think about this as well. What were the things you loved doing as a child? Maybe it was music or dancing or drawing or. . . Spending time in nature or whatever it might be, Think about those things that really energized you. Because as children, We just chose the things we enjoyed. We didn't think about strategy or we didn't think about being productive. We just played and created just for the sake of it. So it's really nice to go back to that and start to integrate more of that into your life because that can actually give you some ideas. Of what you would like to get out of this life. And it starts in very small ways, But it can really help you to reconnect with that part of you that actually existed before the world put a lot of pressure on you about what you were supposed to be doing or who you were supposed to be. And not everything you love has to be connected to a career. Just having joy. Implementing more joy into your life can be a valid reason as well. So you can ask yourself what were the things that you loved doing before you felt like it had to be productive or successful or you had to be good at it. And another thing that can help you with this is to really focus and pay attention to your energy. You can ask yourself okay what are the things that actually give me energy, Or what are the things that drain your energy? The people you spend time with, The things you do. Is it giving you energy or is it depleting you? Those are really crucial signs. Are there certain activities that energize you or are some things that you do really It feels like you really have to put in a lot of effort. It doesn't come so easily. And sometimes it's not in our mind, But it's what our body is telling us. If you feel exhausted all the time and you don't really have the energy to do things, Maybe that's a sign that something needs to change. Maybe the things you're doing that exhaust you are things that not really light you up. And of course, You know, We all have responsibilities and life always includes things that we don't want to do or difficult moments. But when you are intentionally creating a life you love, You want to build around the things that light you up so that when difficult moments happen, You still have that other part of your life as well that can energize you and support you through that. And I think another important ingredient that I talk about a lot is coming home to yourself, Really creating that space of belonging to yourself. Because if you have that place, That's really the foundation, I would say, That you can create a life or build a life that you love from. And true belonging, It's not just about finding this home within yourself. It's also about the relationships you have and the place you live in. Those are all very important. Different ingredients to that as well. Another thing to pay attention to is the relationships in your life. Do they feel safe to you? Do you feel like you can just be completely yourself? Do the people around you support you, Support your growth, Your dreams? Do you feel connected with them? All of those things are very important too in creating this life that you love. Are the people around you actually draining you or are not supportive? Maybe that's a sign that something needs to change. And besides that, The place you live in also has a huge impact. And often we don't realize how much a place impacts us until we leave. I also actually realized this when I moved from the Netherlands to Australia. I knew I wanted to make a change, But when I made that change, I actually realized how much changing environments. Impacted me. And when I changed that, My whole life started to shift as well. And I think that often finding home is not just finding home within yourself, But it's also really about finding the physical environment that supports you. So those two can coexist together. Finding that feeling of home within you, But also finding that feeling of home wherever you live. So you can ask yourself as well. Are your current surroundings supporting you? Do they make you feel alive? Or are they actually not really lighting you up? And do you feel like maybe it's time to change that? Do you want to spend more time in nature or are you craving more city life or more adventure? Or whatever it might be, Right? And that doesn't always mean moving across the world like I did, But sometimes it can just be a change of neighborhood or change in your daily routine, Like spending more time outdoors or just exploring the city you live in already. So it's really about, Is this supporting me or limiting me? And what I just said about routines, I think that's also a very important thing because When we think about this big vision of, Oh, I want to live a life that I love. We often think about the highlights and the milestones, But it's actually much more helpful to think about your daily life. What does an ordinary Tuesday look like? Because eventually you're going to have more of those days, The daily days, Let's say. Instead of those highlights moments that maybe happen in your free time or when you travel. And eventually those regular days is what creates that life that you're looking for. So what are maybe some changes you can make in your daily routine? Maybe it's what you do the first thing when you wake up. Or before you go to bed, Or anything else in between, What are some small shifts you can make? To focus more on the things you love or to focus more on things that energize you. And where are maybe parts of your day that you feel like, Oh, This is not really what I want. And is there something that you can change? Maybe you can change. The place you work. Or your job or your career or maybe you can change. Your exercise routine, Whatever it might be. And having said that, I think it's also important to define what enough means to us. Like, When is it good enough for you? What does success mean to you? Because often we're just chasing more and more, Like more recognition, More achievements, A more impressive job or a more impressive career, Whatever it might be. And I think there's nothing wrong with being ambitious. But it's also important to really be okay with what you have now and actually to know when it's enough for you. Because otherwise you will always be chasing the next thing. I feel like, Oh, When I reach that milestone, That's when I will be happy. And then you realize you will actually never be happy because once you reach that milestone, There will be another milestone. So what is your baseline? When do you feel like, Oh, You know, Actually, What I have right now, It's already great. Yes, I have big dreams, But I can be grateful for where I'm at right now. And it's really about redefining that version of success for you and that version of OK. This is actually already great. And from this feeling of gratitude as well, I can build from here and create something even better for myself, But without putting that pressure on you. Without feeling like you have to perform or chase something, But just because you feel like there's something more you deserve and that you are here to build the happiest life that you can live. But besides that, It's also good to recognize, Okay, Maybe the life that I'm living now is not what I want anymore. And that doesn't mean that you're ungrateful. It just maybe means that you have outgrown this chapter of your life. And it's very important to recognize that as well, Because often we stay stuck in what feels familiar, Not necessarily because we enjoy it, But just because it's comfortable. And then we can stay stuck in that for years and look back and feel like, Oh, Actually, I wasn't really that happy, But I was just comfortable and just stayed where I was without making changes. And sometimes we can also just stay loyal to old dreams we have and feel like, Oh, I cannot give up on this dream because I've had it for so long. If I give up now, That will feel like a failure. But we're always evolving, So maybe this dream that you had five years ago, Maybe it's not your dream anymore. And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you can come up with a new dream, Right? Outgrowing something just means that you have evolved and that you're ready for a new chapter. And you're always allowed to choose again. You can always choose something. New the next day. And I think it's really about experimenting as well. Not taking every step so seriously and to make it so heavy, But to experiment and see what shows up and see like, Oh, Let me try this, See if I like it. And who knows where that might lead to. Seeing it more as a game or something to experiment with, It can also give you more clarity because you're actually taking action instead of endlessly thinking about things. So if you see it as a series of experiments, Why not try something new? What can you do this month or this week? Or maybe even today, A new project, For example. Or you try to work in a new place, Or you change a little bit of your routine. It doesn't mean that once you try something, It has to be forever. Maybe it's just something you try once. But it can give you some information about yourself. And as I said before, Getting to know yourself better, It can really help you to realize, Okay, What is it actually that I want? These are just a few of the ingredients. I feel like I could talk about this for much more. So maybe I will do another episode about this. Let me know if you found this interesting and if you want to know more. But I think there are some great points in here that you can already start with. And I think one of the biggest takeaways from this episode is that Changing your life or creating a life you love is not just about one decision you take overnight. It's much more about changing small things in your daily life and really becoming more aware of the things that light you up, The things that drain you. The things that you've been dreaming about but never took action on. And really being honest about it, Being honest to yourself. And every time you listen more to that, You listen more to yourself and you follow through, You also build that self-trust. And that's really essential to create that blueprint for your life. To really know, Okay, If I put my mind to it, I can actually do it. If I make this choice. I can do it. So creating a life you love is not about following a perfect blueprint or feeling like you have to have this manual in your life and follow the guidelines. Or feeling like you have to climb a certain ladder or follow a certain path forever. It's really a practice of noticing, Of choosing, Of adjusting, Making another choice. And being really honest about who you are, Listening to the things that make you feel alive, Letting go of the things that no longer fit, And really having the courage to take steps and to create that definition of what a meaningful life means to you. So to wrap this up, I'm going to leave you with one question that you can reflect on. What if no one would see or judge my life? What would I choose? If you were completely free of any expectations or judgements of anyone. Including yourself, Perhaps. What would you choose? You can take a moment to journal on this or have a conversation about it with a friend. Or with your partner or go on a walk and reflect on this. And just see what shows up. And as I said, Maybe it's just one small thing that can be a spark towards your next step. And thank you so much for listening, And I will see you in the next one.