Find Your Compass Without A Five-Year Plan

00:30

14:20

Find Your Compass Without A Five-Year Plan

by Veerle Beelen Da Costa David

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

1

This talk offers a fresh, less rigid approach to planning your future. You’ll learn how to replace the pressure of a five-year plan with a personal compass based on how you want to live and feel. Through simple reflection questions and practical steps, you’ll gain clarity, embrace uncertainty, and explore your goals with more curiosity and confidence. Ideal for anyone interested in personal growth, life purpose, goal setting, career change, self-discovery, and intentional living.

Growth Mindset Purpose Discovery Personal Growth Life Purpose Goal Setting Self Discovery Embracing Uncertainty Curiosity

Meet your Teacher

Veerle Beelen Da Costa David

Sydney NSW, Australia

Meet your Teacher

Veerle Beelen Da Costa David

Sydney NSW, Australia

Transcript

Today I want to talk to you about something, An advice you often hear about having a five-year plan. And I'm sure you've heard this before, This question of where do you see yourself in five years? Perhaps someone has asked you this in a job interview, Or perhaps your parents have asked you this, Or a teacher at school, Or maybe a coach as well. Or maybe you have asked yourself this question when you were trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. And I know this might be an unpopular opinion, Coming from a life coach myself, But I think the five-year plan is a bit overrated. And it's not because I think you cannot have or we shouldn't have goals. I love having things to work towards, Too. I love having a vision. I share about that often. I love dreaming about the future, Dreaming what's possible, Even when it feels delusional at first. And I love thinking about what I want to create in my life. But I think there's a difference between having a direction and believing that you need to know exactly where you're going. Because if you really think about it, Honestly, Think about who you were five years ago. It probably doesn't match anymore with where you are at in your life right now. Right. Could that version of you have actually predicted your life today? I know mine couldn't. Five years ago, I was still living in the Netherlands, Figuring out my life, Changing my career. There were people hadn't met yet, Decisions I hadn't made yet, I had no idea that five years later I would live in Australia again. But there were also parts of myself I hadn't met yet and there's no way I could have had or could have put all of that, Everything that I'm doing now, Into this five-year plan. And I actually think that's one of the most exciting things about life as well. There are things coming that we don't know about yet. And even though the unknown can be scary, It's also an exciting thing. Because when we are asked where we want to be in five years, We usually answer with circumstances from what we know at that point in our life. For example, OK, I want to have this job. Or I want to earn this amount of money or I want to live in this country or I want to have this business. Perhaps it's I want to own a house or I want to start a family. And of course, There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting those things. But I think the problem is often that we become so attached to the picture that we stop paying attention to what's actually in front of us and whether that picture still fits us. And then the plan starts running our life instead of supporting it. So perhaps three years into your five-year plan you have changed but because you've decided okay this is where I'm supposed to be going, This is the plan I made, You keep going towards it. And that's why I think instead of creating this very detailed map for the next five years, We need something else. I would suggest that we need a compass instead. Because if you think about it, A map, If you have a map, It tells you, Okay, This is exactly where I'm going. I started point A, I'm going to point B. This is the exact route that I'm taking. This is where I'm supposed to arrive. But if you think about a compass, A compass just tells you, Okay. North is there. This is the direction I want to move in. And I don't know which route I'm going to take. There are different routes. I just follow the direction. And that's how I think about my own life as well. I don't necessarily need to know exactly what my life will look like five years from now. But I do know what matters to me. I do know what my compass is. I want to know how I want to feel in my life or I want to know what I want more of or what I want less of as well. So that's the compass I'm holding on to. And one of the words that has been my compass for this year and my theme for this year is the word alive. So I'm often asking myself. Does my life make me feel alive? Am I doing things that make me feel alive? Am I doing things that challenge me or that feel adventurous or spontaneous that perhaps connect me with people or with new experiences that also allow me to fully feel alive and that give me the sense of freedom and give me the sense that I'm actually feeling like myself. And I feel like those questions are much more useful for me than trying to predict exactly what job title I will have or exactly where I will be living several years from now. Because if I know my direction, I can make decisions from there. I can have this compass for me and I can ask, Okay, Does this opportunity that shows up move me towards the kind of life I want? Or does this relationship support the person I want to be? Or does the city that I live in now offer the things that matter to me and that make me feel alive? Or does the work that I'm doing right now allow me to live a life that actually makes me feel good? And I think that's really what a compass is about. And the interesting thing about a compass is that you can take a completely unexpected route and you can still be moving in the right direction because you can follow that compass. The compass just doesn't tell you which route to take. So you can experiment and see what happens while you still keep on following that direction. And there were so many things that I have done that weren't part of a perfect plan. For me, It really was doing all of these different things that didn't make sense on paper, Like together and telling myself, OK, But that's OK. I can create a life where I love doing different things and it doesn't have to be perfect from the outside as long as it feels good on the inside. And sometimes you also just discover what you want by trying something. And that's why I love doing so many different things. So the second thing I would do instead of creating like a rigid five year plan is to experiment because often we make life decisions so enormous in our heads. Like, For example, Should I change careers? Or when I was doing different things at the time, Oh, Should I just choose one thing? Should I stay here and settle? Or should I move abroad again? Should I start a business? Does it make sense to change careers? Or I also have this passion, Maybe I should do that. And then it becomes so enormous and overwhelming that we feel like we need to have the answer before we begin. And then we actually don't begin at all. Because we're sort of waiting for this answer to appear. So instead of asking, Okay, Is this what I want to do with my life? What you can ask instead that can be helpful and that at least helped me as well is, Okay, Am I curious enough to explore this next? And that's a completely different question. It comes from curiosity and it takes the pressure away. It comes from seeing life as this experiment to feel like, Oh, Am I curious to explore this, This opportunity? Am I just making this decision because it feels smart? So let's say if you've been thinking about changing careers, You don't necessarily need to quit your job tomorrow and then commit to something else for the next 10 years. But perhaps if you're thinking about it, Could you start with taking a course or could you start volunteering for a day during your weekends or maybe start a small project to see how it goes? Or perhaps you could work on something on the side alongside your current job. And these are all ways that you gather information, Not by thinking about it, But by actually taking action and living it. Sometimes you just discover that the thing you've dreamed about for years isn't actually what you want, But you can only discover that because you took those steps. And then it's not failure, But it's actually incredibly useful information because then you're like, Okay, Now I know. And I think one of the reasons we want these long-term plans is that they give us some sense of control. Because uncertainty is uncomfortable, And if you really think about it, Everything is uncertain. We never know what's going to happen tomorrow. So it feels safer to say, OK, I know exactly where I'm going, Instead of thinking, Oh, I know which direction I'm moving into, And I will just figure out the rest along the way. Because who knows what happens? But actually, This type of thought is actually more how life works, Because you can create the most beautiful five year plan in the world. And trust me, I've done that in the past. And then something happens. Maybe you meet someone or perhaps you lose someone and it just turns your life upside down. Perhaps you discover a new passion that you never thought about before or an opportunity appears that you never expected to appear. Or some type of global event happens like we had in the past with the pandemic that turns everything upside down. Perhaps just your priorities change in your life because you change and suddenly you realize the life you planned when you were in your 20s or in your 30s isn't necessarily what you want anymore when you turn like 35 or whatever age you are, Right? So perhaps it's not about trying to predict our lives, But it's more about becoming better at navigating our lives. At navigating our journey and to become more comfortable with this unknown. To feel like, Okay, I have this compass, I know the direction I want to go in, But I'm also comfortable with the discomfort of not knowing exactly what's going to happen. But if you like some structure as well, I want to share a way to approach this that can perhaps help you with this. If you still feel like, Okay, But I still want to have some sort of plan, You can think about it in three different horizons. And the first horizon would be the direction, Like your direction that you want to take in life. So you can think about the next three to five years, But don't start with achievements. Instead, Ask yourself, Okay, How do I want to live? How do I want to feel? What matters to me? What do I want my ordinary week to look like? And also, What do I want more of? And what do I want less of in my life? And then maybe your answer is, OK, I want freedom. I want more adventure. I want meaningful work. I want to feel more purpose in my life. I want deeper connections with people. I want to explore more or surprise myself in a way to do something I've never done before. Or I want financial stability. Or I want more creativity, More time outside. Whatever it might be. Write those things down. Because that is your direction. And then you can bring it a little bit closer and ask yourself, Okay, What do you want to explore over the next six to 12 months? And I use the word explore. It's not about accomplishing anything, But really exploring. Again, What I said before, Experimenting. Maybe there's a country you're curious about to travel to. Or maybe you want to explore if a different career is an option for you. Maybe you just want to start a creative project in your free time. Maybe there's a qualification you want to get or perhaps you have a business idea that you feel like, Okay, Now I want to take some steps. Perhaps it's just a hobby you've always wanted to try, Or a place you wanted to visit, Or someone you want to hang out more. What are the experiments that you could do in the next 6 to 12 months? And then after that, We bring it all the way back to now. So what is one step you can take in the next 30 days? Because ultimately, The now is the only part we can actually do something about. As I said, We can have this whole thing mapped out even for the next six months or a year or three to five years. But the only moment we can really control is the moment we have now. Because ultimately, That's the only compass we really have. You don't need to know every step. You just need to know the next one. And when you take the next step, You have new information that you didn't have before. And that information is going to help you take another step and another. And then you choose again. And then you just keep on choosing and choosing. And that's how you eventually get somewhere that you maybe never expected. So this is your invitation to ask yourself, Instead of asking yourself, OK, Where do I see myself in the next five years? Ask yourself, How do I want to be living five years from now? And how can you actually bring that back into today. What are small steps that you can take today or in the next 30 days to start living from that place already? And how you can do that is really to ask yourself, OK, Who do I want to be while I'm figuring this out? Because then you really start embodying that already. Because when you start embodying that now, You're not just treating today as a stepping stone for your future and then you're just living in the future, But you're actually bringing it in the moment. And that's what I said before about feeling alive. What can you do today to actually live those things that you would like in your future? And to follow the things that make you curious or that interest you. Try new things. You don't have to postpone that for later. What is it that you can already do today or tomorrow or next week or this month? So yes, You can absolutely have goals and you can have a vision. You can dream big. Yes, I love that. Definitely dream big and create the most beautiful vision for yourself. But actually also leave some blank space in the plan. Because what I've realized is that some of the best parts of your life might actually be the things you couldn't have planned for, You couldn't have expected. So you don't need the whole map. You just need a compass and just go from there and have the compass and have enough courage to take the next step. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next one.