Hi,
This is Stephanie Boxer Baum.
Thank you so much for meditating with me today.
For today's practice,
We're going to be doing a what do we do when we feel upset meditation.
Now I love to incorporate the concept of equanimity with this too because sometimes we live in a world where if we're feeling upset and there can be varying ranges of what upset means to anyone at any given time so just kind of working with whatever your present experience is,
Often the kind of messaging is that we need to immediately feel better and sometimes if something is happening that has bothered you or gotten you feeling a little upset feeling better may not be in the cards kind of in your immediate future.
You may kind of feel upset for a little bit it could be one day it could be two days so how do we use our mindfulness practice to help us exist when we are upset not as a way to just move through it but really to just be with ourselves to support ourselves to be with what is and also keep our other surrounding circumstances that may be bringing us joy that may be bringing us happiness keeping those around too.
So just to kind of share as an example,
Oftentimes when we feel upset the first place to kind of go is where my feeling is in my body.
Do I feel tightness in my chest?
Do I feel maybe it's a little bit of a stomach dropping feeling?
It's really checking in where where is this upsetness kind of resonating with me right now because oftentimes when we can locate it in the body we can kind of ask ourselves in that moment like what what do I need right now like what's something that maybe could comfort this and I use the word comfort really specifically because the idea isn't what can I do to make this go away it's really about what will make this a little more comfortable for me.
One of the things that I really love about self-compassion is that we're not practicing it just so we can feel better we're practicing it because we don't feel that great right like the idea is not to just brush things under the rug it's to really comfort ourselves and the inevitable outcome of comforting ourselves may mean that you've moved through it more quickly but that's not the reason why we're doing it if that makes sense it's really comforting ourselves in our present experience when we're experiencing feeling being upset.
So we're going to do a little bit of a gentle practice here and I am sending lots of comfort and care to anyone who's having any kind of upset feelings or something that's bothering you.
I really believe these practices are meant to allow our awareness to expand so we don't necessarily have to react we don't necessarily have to go have that conversation right now when you're feeling upset it's really like let me start with myself first let me really see how do I feel how is my body feeling what do I really need and another practice that I really think can be helpful in these kinds of moments is supportive touch and what that practice is is you can do it at any point no one even has to know it's like maybe you're in a conversation that feels a little bit upsetting or something has happened you can even like clasp both hands together or you could put a hand on your leg and it's really just a signal to yourself that you know what I'm still here I'm here to support we're going to get through this and so really just allowing yourself to have some of these little mental shifts when we're dealing with something that's upsetting us can often be quite helpful so finding a comfortable seat and taking a gentle deep breath in and then exhale out and let's do that one more time gentle inhale in and a deep exhale out just getting really comfortable here letting the mind and the body settle knowing that you don't have to change anything at all you don't have to change anything with yourself you don't have to change anything with your current situation you are enough as is right now allowing the mind and body to settle and I want you to bring to mind a situation doesn't have to be super heavy where you're feeling a little bit of upsetness whatever that is picking someone something that's not really too heavy but just something that maybe you've got on you you know feels a little heavy on your mind right now and beginning to notice where do you feel the situation in your body maybe there's tightness or pressure just kind of checking in so letting go of the story of whatever happened I'm just going to be kind of with this energy recognizing how it feels in the body and just touching base and asking what can we do is there a bit of a release that can happen a letting go of that tension a letting go of the tightening just gentle baby steps no one's asking for any kind of immediate result it's more just kind of checking in how can I work with this letting whatever is there just gently arise and it's okay and if this feels a bit challenging you can focus back in on the breath letting go of the story letting go of whatever was happening in a current situation and just coming to this place and what do I need right now is there any thought you can bring to mind that perhaps would just allow you to be with what is we don't have to change it when we feel upset and we can allow ourselves to be in our feelings there is nothing wrong with that we want to be able to support ourselves and we want to be able to recognize where upsetness lands in the body taking another gentle inhale in and a deep exhale out and offering the phrase in your mind silently may I be with this peacefully and calmly may I be with this peacefully and calmly as we're really adding a well-wishing here maybe we don't feel peaceful or calm at all and that's okay we want to plant the seed just to allow for there to be some cultivation of an eventual letting go and letting go doesn't mean that we just excuse behavior or that we just make it all okay it's more about for you as a person how can we help to ease our suffering and be with ourselves and hold on to ourselves if we're feeling upset so just allowing this gentle energy to surround you like a big self-compassion blanket you can be exactly as you are right now and being with whatever it is that you are upset about and just offering this gentle nurturing energy so i'll watch our time here for these next few minutes and just invite you to calmly breathe in gently breathe out and allow yourself to be as exactly as you need to be so taking another gentle inhale in and a deep exhale out maybe checking in to see where you found some more space some more breathing room and as always just sharing this gentle reminder that you are always enough as is and there's always support whenever you're feeling upset that you can bring to yourself any time that you need it thank you again for meditating with me today and i hope to be meditating again with you soon
