Am I Dumb For Experiencing Narcissistic Traps & Toxicity

Here, I speak about experiencing a strong pull towards toxic energies, such as narcissism and other non-empathetic traits. I share my personal experience, and I bring clarity, relief, and light to our minds and to our hearts.

Transcript

My name is Sangeet and today I have something very important to tell you.

Sometimes,

Some of us meet someone with significant toxic traits who we feel a strong passionate bond with,

Which may turn into some kind of adventure,

A friendship or a romantic connection.

And the more we come closer,

The more we become intoxicated.

And the more we become intoxicated,

The more we feel attached.

And the more we feel attached,

The harder it is to drop everything and leave.

And then we start questioning ourselves,

Our intelligence,

Our state of independence and even our common sense.

How come a person like us could see themselves in a situation like that?

We may be very dumb to fall into something so bad,

Right?

Wrong.

This is not a matter of having certain skills.

This is a matter of energies coming together.

Energies influence energies.

It is inevitable.

But of course,

The majority of times that we come across strangers,

We either don't stick for too long or we simply don't connect at a very deep level.

So they may not affect us that much,

Even if they are not the highest of all frequencies.

After the interaction,

We may not even remember them anymore.

And when there is no significant connection,

Chances are that there won't be any significant intentional harm either,

Unless it is some sort of sudden act that someone decides to randomly commit.

However,

If we happen to feel a strong pull towards someone,

An invisible force that is hard to control,

Then it may turn into a complete different story,

No matter how clever or brilliant we are.

Deep strong connections often awaken curiosity,

Especially if they are new to us.

And for someone who is full of great intentions,

And all they want is to enjoy the bond,

What could possibly go bad,

Right?

For sure the other person feels and wants more or less the same,

And everything will go just fine.

At the very least,

We will be best friends for a period of time,

Which is already a huge gift to experience.

As much as we may want to believe in this,

When it comes to connections with people with toxic traits,

Especially narcissism and other non-empathetic personalities,

Any interaction becomes inevitably harmful to some extent.

And if the bond is strong,

Then it gets even worse,

Simply because we tend to get closer.

It is not about how smart we are,

It is about how close we get.

Contrary to what we may think,

These are not complex and exciting energies.

These are actually quite basic,

And even boring and predictable,

And they couldn't care less of how sweet and lovable we are,

Because the only thing that matters to them is how much they can take from us.

And it takes only a few seconds to get deeply hurt by another being.

It only depends on how sensitive and receptive we are,

How deep it goes,

And how much they intend to consciously harm us.

Circumstances and accidents can happen,

But when it is intentional,

We can feel it,

And it is severely painful,

Especially for someone who is highly empathetic.

So,

How do we know if it is toxic?

How do we feel is the answer.

Do we feel anxious,

Confused,

Depleted,

Devalued,

Tempted,

Unloved,

Ignored,

Ridiculed,

Manipulated,

Avoided and played,

Constantly gaslighted into believing that there is something wrong with us,

And nothing wrong with them?

If yes,

It means that we are around something very toxic.

What should we do?

Silently packing our bags and leave,

Either for real or symbolically.

Now,

Do we find excuses to stay and to connect just a little bit more,

And a little bit more,

Like strong bonds are rare and beautiful,

Or we may be soulmates or twin flames,

Destined to be together,

Or maybe it is not that bad,

Or maybe they can change,

Or we are alone and vulnerable and thirsty for connection,

Or we simply find hard to believe that someone could possibly hurt someone like us.

Yes,

We find all kinds of excuses,

And they are exactly that,

Excuses,

Distractions,

Ways to pretend that everything is just right,

When everything is clearly wrong.

Energies activate intuition,

We just have to listen and to apply it,

Nothing else.

Is it hard?

Yes,

Sometimes it is,

Because there is an energetic force holding us back,

But for sure,

It is harder to go through the pain of seeing our smile and our laugh fading away,

When all we want is just to be happy.

On the other hand,

Unless it is under threat and totally forced by others,

Whatever we do is our responsibility,

And deep inside we know when we are about to step into a gigantic red flag,

Don't we?

We may think that we have the best of all hearts and intentions,

But the truth is that when we deliberately choose to be part of a scenario that is far from serving our highest good,

Either because we can sense that something is off,

Or simply because the facts show themselves as a non-match to our integrity,

We also deliberately choose to suffer its unpleasant consequences.

In my experience,

I came across quite a few strong,

Unexplained bonds with certain energies that were definitely not the best for me,

Some of them in a row,

As an avalanche,

Especially as I intensely worked more and more on myself and on my energy,

And as much as a part of me wished to explore and to enjoy it,

I never found true love in any of them.

What I found was a big wall between us and an alert of danger that wouldn't leave me alone,

Along with a persistent sabotage by their part,

Through immature and superficial games of control and of seduction,

Just to keep me around and to serve their ego.

And whenever I looked for reasons to prolong it,

I always came to the realization that I never really liked them to begin with.

How could I?

The only things that made me give one more second of my time were the magnetism and the willingness to deeply connect nothing else.

This doesn't mean that there were no good feelings in each one of these connections.

What this means is that any glimpse of it that could possibly emerge was instantly covered by the fear of fully feeling it by their part,

And totally replaced by their strong defensive mechanisms of suppression.

So,

Even if I wanted to experience it,

I couldn't,

Because in a connection of two,

It takes two to make it happen.

Instead of feeling on top of the mountain,

I felt like I was being buried in the mud.

This type of connection is often made of one person that is emotionally immature and unavailable,

And another one that is strongly sensitive and empathetic.

And when coming together,

It naturally produces two inevitably toxic energies,

One of avoidance and one of clinginess,

The manipulator and the codependent.

It is like feeding a baby way less than they need.

It won't take long until they start crying,

Until they feel neglected,

And until they become sick,

Right?

Exactly the same that happens to empathetic people that interact with non-empathetic energies.

How far we go with this nonsense,

It will depend on how much we allow it.

Again,

This is only a matter of cause and effect,

Nothing else.

We cut the cause,

We stop the effect,

And hopefully,

We are still on time to restore ourselves and to feel alive again,

And of course,

To also know how to protect ourselves.

Not because we learned a lesson,

But because we had no other choice and we saw no other way.

Healthy relationships are easy,

Not hard.

Plus,

Only love brings us real fun and happiness,

Along with a deep sense of peace and of safety.

And only its lack can make us feel anxious and confused.

Love brings out the best in us.

Toxicity does the opposite,

And it makes us feel tempted because it implies that something is wrong.

True love is never tempting,

Because it is always right.

Maybe some of us think that love is there anyway,

Even if it is toxic,

But that is just another excuse to keep us waiting forever,

Looping in an endless story that never really satisfies us,

Simply because,

Even if love was there,

It wouldn't be fully recognized through a toxic filter anyway.

Besides,

Probably the best that we could possibly have and achieve was to literally fall,

In love we would think,

But in reality,

Would be nothing but to fall into a trap that would make us feel lonely and miserable,

And afraid of triggering the other person into projecting more and more of their toxicity on us.

But does this mean that true love connections are never deep and intense?

Of course not.

True love connections are inevitably deep and intense.

What they are not is toxic,

Which turns the entire depth and intensity in our favor.

So,

Instead of making us feel small,

Nervous,

And claustrophobic,

It makes us feel free,

Peaceful,

And aligned,

With no limits to what we can experience and achieve,

Where our lips keep finding new reasons to smile and to laugh,

And our heart,

Our body,

And our mind feel immensely light and fully content.

So,

Are we dumb for experiencing narcissistic traps and other types of strong toxic connections?

No,

Of course not.

In a world like this,

Where anything can happen,

This is just one more thing to add to the equation.

There are so many reasons behind and beyond everything,

Some of them we know,

Some of them we don't.

But two things I can tell you for sure,

And those are,

That our heart is stronger than any attraction or connection,

And that the love and the sweetness it contains remains.

For us,

For the world,

For the right ones,

For those who truly love and truly hold us in their arms,

Asking nothing in return.

So,

Today,

Whatever pull we feel,

Let's love ourselves enough to always make the pull towards us the first,

The last,

And the biggest of all of them.

Not because we are selfish,

But because our energy is precious and deserves to be properly noticed and valued.

If the pull is toxic,

It dissolves,

Because no toxic pull will make any effort towards love.

If the pull is healthy,

It finds its natural way to us.

And let's remember that the sun is for all,

Not just for some,

And none of us is irreparable.

So,

Let's let everybody be.

Yes,

Everybody.

And let's shine,

To the core of our essence,

Until our very last second on Earth.

Reviews

This was incredible! Yes I’ve been enduring narcissistic for 3 years now.
This is the second time I’ve had to endure a narcissistic person. The first was on cape cod. The second is here in San Antonio Texas. I’ve never been able to express more than two words before those narcissistic people take over to tell me what I wanted to express. So now I’m not married anymore so I’ve been living in my pickup truck for 3 years now in a narcissistic environment. I stay in my Truck all day and often throughout the night until this routine repeats.
Sangeet I’m strongly grateful for your talk here today. I’ve tried replying many times before but my words of thought to reply are difficult for me to print. So I give up trying. My words of expression just don’t come easy for me until now.
Thank you Sangeet for this topic. I do appreciate you very much and I always will. Much love and happiness to you always.