Learning To Breathe For Change (Meditations For Change #1)

This is a practical meditation/ talk for people who are looking to begin changing their personal lives. The first step is learning to breathe for change. This is not a difficult breathwork session. This meditation/ talk is a practical approach to change. My aim is to give you a few skills, a few thoughts, and hope so that you can begin to change.

*Remember, this is not a substitute for mental health treatment or counseling.*

Transcript

Welcome to the first meditation for change.

If you are attempting to change anything about yourself,

The way that you feel,

Or perhaps endeavoring to change something around you in the environment or another person,

The first step is to find some type of way to calm or ground yourself.

For many people,

A state of calm actually heightens their anxiety and makes things worse temporarily.

As in the past,

If they let their guard down,

Something had harmed them.

This is probably the result of trauma stored in the body.

The nervous system is afraid to move from sympathetic to parasympathetic.

And this makes sense.

So if you are in that position,

I would recommend starting off doing this meditation in a very safe space.

Perhaps a small room that is locked,

Or somewhere else where you feel completely safe.

If you are a person who is okay with calming their nervous system,

And you are here because you want to change something,

Then it does not matter where you do this meditation,

Except that I do not advise doing it while driving any type of vehicle.

So let us begin.

The whole point of this meditation is that we are not trying to change our state with our willpower,

Or some sort of mantra,

Or some type of secret magical word or phrase or thought or feeling.

We are not using the breath to magically fix things.

What we are going to do is quite simple,

Which is breathing normally.

Just breathing in.

Here I am breathing in normally.

And the only thing I am adding is I am extending my breath,

My out-breath,

Just by about one or two seconds,

Or one or two clicks,

Whatever works for you.

So I am just breathing in normally,

And I am breathing out,

One,

Two.

So I just extended my out-breath.

I am not breathing deep on purpose.

I am just breathing normally,

And I am only paying attention to that couple of out-breath extension seconds,

Or clicks,

Whatever you want to call them.

And that is the beginning of this meditation,

And I am going to have us go through it together.

But first let me explain why.

When you are endeavoring to change anything,

You must first start with what is actually in front of you.

We must actually accept reality as it is from our viewpoint in this moment.

And that means I am not trying to conjure up some type of special recipe to change myself.

All I am doing is trying to stay where I am at,

Breathe normally,

Observe what is around me.

You can have your eyes open or your eyes closed,

Whichever is more comfortable for you.

You can be sitting,

Lying down,

Or standing.

It does not matter.

What matters is paying attention.

You feel the in-breath,

Normal in-breath,

And I am breathing out.

Extension one,

Two.

That is all I am doing.

So let's take the next minute or two on your own to breathe normally and extend the out-breath.

Some people say,

Should I have my mouth open,

Should I have my mouth shut?

There are different theories about this,

And in future meditations perhaps we will address these.

So whatever feels comfortable for you.

Oftentimes I will sometimes do it with my nose only,

Breathing in,

Breathing out,

A couple extra clicks.

Sometimes I will do in through my nose,

Out through my mouth,

And sometimes I will do my mouth completely,

In and out.

It matters most what is comfortable to you.

So here we go.

The next two minutes on your own,

Breathing in normally,

And out just a little bit longer.

It does not matter where your thoughts go or anything else.

Just try to keep paying attention to that rhythm.

So you have been breathing for a few minutes on your own.

Please try to keep that rhythm going as you listen to the sound of my voice.

During that time you may have had thoughts,

You may have felt emotions,

You may have had physical sensations in the body.

Happened,

You can either utilize it for data,

Because sometimes the body,

The mind,

And the emotions send us signals about something that we need to deal with,

Or something that we may have to deal with.

And sometimes it's just something that doesn't need to be remembered or focused on.

I'm not sure what came up for you,

And sometimes nothing comes up.

Sometimes we get into a rhythm of breathing to the point where that is mostly what we are thinking about.

Our emotions are steady,

And our physical body begins to relax.

So right now as we're breathing,

Just notice any tension in the upper body.

A lot of people carry tension in their upper back,

Upper chest,

Shoulders,

And the connection points between the neck and your shoulders,

And the jaw,

And the forehead,

And in general the entire head.

So just notice whatever has come up for you at this moment,

And attempt to relax or let go of the tension that you feel.

Sometimes this will work really well,

Other times it won't,

And that's okay,

This is part of the process.

Part of the process of change begins with not changing.

It begins with observing.

It begins with getting into a short rhythm of breathing,

And letting things settle.

We go around and our lives are so busy,

So much stimulation,

Even if we don't feel busy,

We feel bored.

There are constant distractions with media,

Whatever is in our environment,

Loud noises,

Whatever it might be.

And all of those little focal points take time away from what our intentions,

Our intuition,

Our feelings might be.

And as you continue to breathe normally,

Extending the out breath,

Just maybe one click,

One second,

You don't even really notice that you're doing this breathing exercise anymore.

And I want you to think of the word change.

Change.

There's quotes about the word change,

Such as,

All of life is a series of changes,

Change is how things move forward,

Change is scary,

And all sorts of other things you've probably heard about the word change.

So when you bring up the word change,

And you think about yourself,

Is there something about yourself that you want to change,

Or something out there in the environment,

Something out there in your personal life that you want to change.

And I would encourage you right now to see when you bring up the word change,

Just how many things pop into your mind.

And if you have something nearby to write with,

You may take the next few seconds or minutes to write down that list of things you might want to change.

If you already know what that thing is that you want to change,

Then you're a little ahead of the rest of us,

And that's okay,

Because some of us need a giant list of things,

And then we will find one thing to focus on during this guided meditation,

And others,

We already came into this guided meditation hoping for change,

Wanting change,

Desiring it.

At the same time,

There may be a part of you that resists change,

That doesn't want to go there,

That is afraid of the implications of what might occur if you change,

Or if something that you are responsible for,

Or something that you can influence changes.

So in this moment,

Whether you're making a list,

Or whether you already know,

I want you,

Whether your eyes are open or shut,

To think of what this change is.

And right now,

Visualize it.

And if you have trouble with visualization,

Then just think about it.

And if you have trouble thinking about it,

See if you can't let this idea of change enter your emotions or your physical body.

We're going to focus on this change,

This idea of change,

For the next minute or so,

Breathing normally.

Thank you for staying with this guided meditation.

At this point,

You have brought up change,

And what you want to change,

Or what you might want to do differently,

Or what you might want to try to enact in your life or in the environment around you.

And at this stage,

And at this moment,

I would invite you to think of one thing you can do today,

Or this week,

Or tomorrow,

To start the process.

Some people have said change is slow,

And I think it's both slow and fast.

It depends on your situation,

And it depends on how much power,

How much energy,

What your abilities are,

What your age is,

What the actual thing you want to change is,

About how fast or slow it's going to go.

But one thing is for sure,

If you focus your intention,

Your efforts,

Your honest assessments,

You're willing to remove your ego and be open to criticism and feedback about this change.

But you're willing to accept that it has not changed yet,

And that you are endeavoring to do so.

And you make it a priority,

Whether you write it down on paper,

You put it in your phone,

You start limiting your usage of electronics,

Or you maximize it all for the sake of this change.

If you devote time and energy and effort and educational learning to this change,

The possibility of this change occurring increases.

The less time,

The less effort,

The less education,

The less intention that you devote to this change,

It decreases.

And this may be frustrating for us to understand,

But that is why we do the breathing exercises,

To bring us into a position where our hearts and our minds and our emotions and our thoughts can come together.

And if they come together,

Just even for a few moments,

Then we can start to understand that there are many layers to change,

There are many perspectives to change,

There are many steps to change,

But you can only take one step at a time.

It's difficult to rush changes.

Oftentimes when people rush or are in haste,

They end up causing more issues.

This isn't always true.

Obviously in an emergency or some sort of dangerous situation,

Your nervous system will take over,

You'll do the best thing you think at the time,

And you should not wait.

But for this meditation,

For this guided talk,

We must understand that if we want something to change,

We are responsible for that.

And thus,

We make this effort.

So as we close the next 60 seconds,

I'm going to have you breathe in normally,

Breathe out,

1,

2,

Back to that extended breath,

And just notice anything that comes up.

Thank you for listening to this meditation for change.

May you be well.