Hi darling.
I'm really glad you're here.
Tonight we're going to explore self-love in a way that doesn't require you to be perfect,
Healed or polished.
What I like to call loving the darling and the not-so-darling parts.
This meditation is inspired by internal family systems,
Often called IFS,
A therapeutic model that teaches we are made up of different inner parts.
Parts that protect,
Parts that carry pain,
Parts that try to control and parts that criticize.
Beneath all of them is yourself.
Yourself is calm,
Curious,
Compassionate,
Connected.
Tonight we're not fixing anything,
We're building relationship.
So find a comfortable position,
Let your shoulders soften,
Unclench your jaw.
Maybe you're lying down with a blanket over you for warmth.
Just allow yourself to feel supported.
Soften your gaze or close your eyes.
Take a slow breath in through your nose and exhale slowly.
Again,
Inhale.
No need to impress.
All parts of you are welcome here.
Now gently bring your awareness inward.
Notice if there is any emotion present right now.
Sadness,
Restlessness.
Instead of saying I am anxious,
Try saying a part of me feels anxious.
Notice the shift,
The space you just created.
You are not the part,
You are the awareness holding it.
Take a slow breath and gently say to yourself,
The not-so-darling parts aren't flaws,
They're places asking for love.
Now gently focus on the part that feels strongest.
Where do you feel it?
In your body?
Is it in your chest?
Your stomach?
Let your attention rest there.
Without trying to change it,
Softly ask,
What are you trying to protect me from?
What are you afraid would happen if you stopped?
Even if the answer surprises you.
Self-love means not leaving when the not-so-darling parts show up.
In IFS,
We believe every part has a positive intention.
Even the critical one,
Even the perfectionist,
They are protectors.
Sometime very tired ones.
Now gently check in with this part of you.
Ask,
How do you feel about me being here with you?
Notice what arises.
If there is hesitation,
That's okay.
There may be another protective part watching.
You might softly say,
I'm not here to get rid of you.
I just want to understand you.
In IFS we build trust.
Now gently ask,
What do you need from me right now?
This isn't something you have to solve tonight.
Just simply listen.
And if it feels right to you,
Say to yourself or out loud,
I'm listening.
Sometimes protectors soften just knowing they're not alone in the job anymore.
Take a slow breath in and a gentle exhale.
Now bring awareness to the parts that feel easier to love.
Your darling parts.
The capable one,
The spiritual one,
The strong one.
The not so darling parts.
The younger one still trying to be enough.
The anxious one.
Here's what I believe deeply.
Self-love is learning to hold the darling and the not so darling parts with the same tenderness.
Not more tenderness for the polished version.
And not less tenderness for the messy one.
The same.
Take a breath in.
Imagine holding your darling parts in one hand and your not so darling parts in the other.
Notice if one feels easier to hold.
And gently soften toward the other.
And now feel into the calm center.
Right between both hands.
The steady place inside you.
Now slowly bring both hands to rest over your chest.
Let all of the parts feel the warmth.
And from this place say,
I see you.
Thank you for trying to protect me.
You don't have to carry this alone anymore.
Notice what happens.
Maybe something softens.
Now imagine all of your parts in the same room.
And you,
Yourself,
Standing steady in the center.
Leading with compassion.
Not letting anyone take over.
In IFS we say,
There are no bad parts.
Only parts that need understanding.
Take a slow breath in.
And before we finish,
Repeat softly in your mind,
Every part of me belongs.
Take one final breath.
Gently open your eyes.
You are not broken.
You are beautifully layered.
And all of you gets to stay.
