Hello,
My fellow fallible human.
Welcome to the Harmonious Mind.
This is a moment to slow down and settle your nervous system.
My name is Tanya McIntyre,
Your mindfulness mentor.
These short reflections are designed to help you find steadiness,
Perspective,
And a gentler rhythm in your life.
Let this meet you the way music does.
Openly.
Curiously,
Without pressure.
Hopefully there's nothing you need to achieve and nowhere else you need to be right now.
Just be here in the present moment.
Today we're going to explore how important it is to put on your own mask first to maintain your better mental health.
Have you ever noticed that building a good habit can feel like climbing a mountain,
While falling into a bad habit can feel like just stepping off a curb?
That imbalance frustrates anyone who's ever tried to change.
I like to use the airplane analogy to explain why making ourselves a priority matters.
This idea shocks people at first,
Because most of us are conditioned to care for others before ourselves.
Consider the emergency instructions given on every flight.
If the cabin pressure drops,
You're told to put your own mask on first before helping anyone else,
Even your own child.
That's a hard concept to sit with,
Especially for parents who are often led to believe that their whole purpose is to provide for their children,
And there's little room left for themselves.
Caring for others is one of the highest expressions of love and purpose that a person can offer.
But that virtue should never come at the total expense of your own well-being.
You cannot pour from an empty cup,
As the saying goes.
Self-care is not selfish.
It's the maintenance that makes generosity sustainable.
With that in mind,
Here are a few daily habits that can help you build and maintain compassion for yourself.
Start each day expecting things to go your way.
Life has a way of either living up to or down to our expectations.
Ancient philosophy tells us that it is as you say it is.
So when you make your first thought of the day something hopeful,
Like maybe things are going to go well for me today.
You might find that they often do.
Next,
Assume people have good intentions.
People sometimes do things that annoy us,
But rarely on purpose.
I once found myself blocking a grocery store aisle.
And I was completely lost in thought while choosing a brand of tuna.
I wasn't trying to inconvenience anyone.
I was just distracted.
Most people are exactly the same.
Do your best with what's in your control and then let go of the outcome.
Feeling overwhelmed is often just the perception that we have too much to do.
So instead of spiraling,
Pick the one task that moves you closest to your biggest goal and start there.
And don't forget to ask for help when you need it.
Next,
Give a gift to someone you meet.
And it doesn't need to be a wrapped gift.
Just something like a genuine smile or a word of encouragement,
A small act of politeness,
Or even just a friendly nod can really brighten someone's entire day,
Including your own.
Next,
Try eating one meal slowly.
I know we can't always avoid rushing through meals,
But just try to eat at least one thing mindfully every day.
Taste it.
Take time to savor it.
Tell yourself,
This food is nourishing my body in perfect harmony.
Next,
Go on a digital diet because advertising is engineered to make us feel dissatisfied with life.
When we're dissatisfied,
We're likely to buy something or take something to feel better and look better.
So be the gatekeeper of your own mind and stop letting yourself be programmed to consume.
Next begin and end each day with gratitude.
Tibetan monks have a tradition of turning their cup over before they go to bed and that symbolizes not just the end of their day but also the end of that life.
And then in the morning,
They turn their cup back up and they think,
I am grateful to be alive.
Welcoming a new day as a new life.
None of these habits require money,
Equipment,
Or extra hours in your day.
Just intention.
Pick one from this list and practice it,
Starting today.
And notice how it feels after a week.
And then you can add another.
Self-compassion isn't built in a single leap.
It's built one small deliberate habit at a time,
Starting with the choice to put your own mask on first.
Thank you so much for spending this time with me.
I hope these short reflections bring you a little more clarity,
Comfort and calm.
Join me for future episodes of The Harmonious Mind as we continue to explore practical ways to build better mental health.
My name is Tanya McIntyre,
Your mindfulness mentor.
Keep showing up for yourself and remember to talk to and treat yourself like you talk to and treat a friend.
You always.
And remember,
You are the force.
