Hello and welcome to The Harmonious Mind,
A time to slow down and calm your nervous system.
I'm Tanya McIntyre,
Your mindfulness mentor.
The Harmonious Mind offers a series of short explorations to gently guide you to peace and serenity,
Something that we can all use more of in our life for sure.
Hopefully this episode of The Harmonious Mind can help you turn down the volume of that incessant and often too negative inner talk.
So just listen to this the way you would listen to music with an open mind and curiosity.
There's nothing to do and nowhere to go.
Just relax.
Today's exploration offers a formula A for better mental health.
I came up with a formula A to help me manage my own mental health.
It has just four ingredients.
Awareness,
Avoidance,
Attention,
And acceptance.
So let's start with awareness.
Being aware of my thoughts helps me to recognize that most of them are simply repetitive and very unhelpful.
And just being aware of this makes it easier for me to do something that I like to call catch it,
Check it,
And change it.
These snappy slogans I come up with sometimes can help me remember things.
And after years of abusing my mind,
I think I need all the help I can get to remember things.
So I catch the unhelpful thought and then I check it using tools.
And there are hundreds of tools to choose from.
My favorite just happens to be cognitive behavioral therapies because it helps me manage my mental health.
So I catch it,
I check it with a tool,
And then I change it to a more helpful thought.
So for example,
If you think,
I should have done better,
Or he must do this,
Then we are shooting ourselves,
Or we're masturbating as we jokingly say to ourselves in cognitive therapies.
And when we use these unhelpful phrases,
Shooting ourselves and masturbating,
That can often leave us feeling stressed,
A little depressed,
Maybe even angry.
So we catch it.
This is not a helpful thought.
I'm shooting myself.
And when we use those critical words,
It can kind of send us into a tailspin sometimes.
So as soon as we can catch it,
To be aware of it as being an unhelpful thought,
Then we can check it with a tool.
And like I said,
There's a whole menu of tools you can choose from.
Let's just take the four questions from cognitive therapy that can be very effective to quickly work through a process to prove to ourselves that it's not helpful,
Right?
We ask number one,
Where's the evidence that is supporting this attitude or belief?
Number two,
If it's lacking the evidence,
Then what does that suggest?
Number three,
Does this attitude or belief help me get to where I want to go?
Or is it taking me further away from where I want to be?
And finally,
Number four,
What attitude or belief could better help me get to where I want to be?
So those four quick questions,
It only takes a few seconds that can help us checking it.
And then we change it with a more helpful and less rigid thought.
So instead of saying,
I should have done better,
We can say,
I can learn to do better,
I can strive to do my best.
And you know what,
My best is good enough.
So that's the awareness part of the formula day.
And then we move into avoidance.
We want to avoid people,
Places and things that can potentially lead us into unhelpful and sometimes disturbing thoughts.
Our diet is more than what we eat.
It's also what we're watching,
What we're reading,
What we're listening to,
And definitely who we're spending our time with,
Because we do become the company we keep.
So make a conscious effort to watch uplifting programs,
Read inspiring stories,
Listen to music with positive lyrics.
I know that search could be extensive.
And then maybe think about the company you're keeping.
Are you keeping the company of people who are lifting you up?
Be very selective with how you're spending your time and who you're spending your time with.
And then the third A in the formula A is attention.
We want to focus our attention on things we can change.
There is great power in knowing that the only thing we can control in life is ourselves.
And finally,
The fourth A in the formula A for better mental health is acceptance.
Well,
We can accept that life can sometimes be challenging and that we humans are simply fallible people who are doing our best to navigate life the best way we know how.
Unconditional acceptance of ourselves,
Of others and of life can certainly foster better mental health.
So there you have it.
Four simple ingredients.
We have awareness,
Avoidance,
Attention,
And acceptance.
So remember to talk to yourself and treat yourself like you talk to and treat your best friends using encouraging,
Supportive,
And compassionate language.
Thank you so much for being here with me.
I hope these insights offer you some comfort and serenity.
And please join me for upcoming explorations of the harmonious mind.
Until then,
May your coffee,
Your heart,
And your patience be strong.
I'm Tanya McIntyre,
Your mindfulness mentor.
May the force of mindfulness be with you always.
And remember,
You are the force.
