Hello and welcome,
I'm Emily Hayden and I'm so glad that you've joined me today.
Perhaps you've come to this because speaking in public,
Out loud,
In meetings,
In presentations has not been easy for you.
Perhaps you're even coming to this recording in the days and weeks,
Perhaps the hours before you speak.
Let's just begin by taking one deep breath in through your nose.
And exhale out of your mouth.
Good,
Relax into your body now and just get nice and comfortable.
Wherever you are you can be seated.
Or you can be laying down whatever feels best for you right now.
And before we begin.
I want you to know that that racing heart you're feeling,
The dry mouth,
The hands that won't quite stop trembling Perhaps it's a flutter low in your stomach or a slight unsteadiness in your voice.
Whatever the physical or mental symptom you show when it comes to your turn to speak.
Just know that you are being held here,
You are being supported here in this moment And these signs,
These symptoms are not signs that you're not ready.
They are signs that you care.
Signs that your body is preparing you to be brilliant.
What you are feeling in this moment is your body doing something extraordinary on your behalf mobilizing oxygen.
Sharpening your senses.
Lighting you up from the inside because something in you knows that what you're about to do matters.
It matters to you,
Matters to your work,
Matters to your life.
Performers feel this.
Athletes feel this.
Every person who has ever walked into a room and said something out loud has felt exactly what you are feeling now.
Because the truth is the only difference between anxiety and excitement.
Is the story we keep telling ourselves about the sensation.
So in the next few minutes,
We are not going to try to make this feeling go,
We are going to befriend it.
We are going to let those feelings,
Adrenaline pumping through your body,
We're going to let it carry you in to the moment you are about to speak.
And wherever you are,
Just find your feet.
Press them deep into that bed or into that ground beneath you.
Feel the ground pressing back to meet you.
Solid.
Steady.
Older than your fear.
And if you can or if you want to.
Place one hand on your chest.
And the other on your belly now.
Feeling into the warmth of your own hands.
This simple gesture is a signal to your nervous system that says I am here,
I've got this,
I am not alone.
And just take one slow deep breath in through your nose now.
And as you exhale let it leave you audibly through your mouth,
Let it sound like a sigh.
Again drawing the breath in slowly.
And releasing it,
Letting your shoulders fall away from your ears now.
One more deep breath in.
And exhale let go of anything that doesn't serve you in this place right now are now same but different.
We're just going to change the breath.
And I'm going to give you this tool that you can use anytime,
Anywhere,
Before you have to walk into the boardroom,
Before you have to speak on stage.
It works in seconds,
It works wherever you are.
On a train,
In the bathroom,
Backstage.
And it's called the physiological size.
And how you do it is you take a deep breath in through your nose,
Another small sip of air in at the top.
And then you exhale it fully.
So it sounds like this,
You breathe in.
And again that's it.
And then exhale all the way out through your mouth.
So let's do it together now.
So breathing in through your nose.
Second sip when you're ready.
And release out through the mouth.
Good,
Again breathing in.
Another sip of Aaron.
Exhaling fully,
Deeply,
Letting go.
And one more time in and out.
Sip.
Release,
Long slow release now.
Just three of these and your heart rate already starts to fall,
Your nervous system receives the message that you are safe You can use this anytime,
Anyplace,
Before a meeting,
Weeks before a meeting,
After the meeting if you have to.
No one will see it,
No one will know.
This is your tool.
And now just listen to these words as you relax here.
Nothing to do,
Nothing to hold.
Just letting these words land deep into your body.
You have something worth saying and you know what you're talking about.
If you didn't you wouldn't even be there in that room,
You wouldn't be preparing,
You wouldn't have been chosen to speak.
You certainly wouldn't be standing where you are standing in that room sharing your knowledge.
Because the truth is your voice belongs in that room that you're speaking in.
Not a perfect version of your voice.
Not a flawless version of you.
Just you as you are because you are enough.
You know your stuff.
You are meant to be sharing your knowledge with those around you.
And with every shake,
Every breath,
Everything you brought with you the people listening to you are not waiting for someone perfect they are waiting for someone real someone authentic and not just someone that person is you People like you and you like them.
They are eager to learn from you.
You have something true to say.
Knowledge.
Experience.
Someone who despite the fear came to speak anyway,
That is you.
And the trembling,
The racing,
The buzzing in your chest.
All of it is just your body's way of saying I am here.
And think of this adrenaline now.
Adrenaline is to get you moving,
It's to prepare your body for something important and you sharing your knowledge,
Your experience is so important.
You matter,
You are important.
That adrenaline is just that surge of energy,
That quickening in your body not to stop you,
To prepare you It's like a guard dog that sometimes barks for no reason because it cares,
Because it wants to let you know it's there,
It's ready And now you understand this,
Everything can begin to change because this was never a problem,
It was just protection Just slightly misdirected.
Perhaps in the past you've been embarrassed when you've got a question wrong.
Perhaps you've been embarrassed when it was your turn to speak.
But you are not there right now.
You are present,
You are in the room and you are ready.
You are safe to be yourself in that room,
Just speaking,
Just sharing knowledge,
Sharing what you know.
Being seen,
Speaking up,
Using your voice is not a threat,
It's simply an extension of what you already do every day,
It's just talking.
Like any system that learns it's now updating your nervous system is just preparing you to speak calmly naturally easily.
And your body's own supply of energy that adrenaline is now available for your use.
Available for you to direct and control.
You use this energy to prepare you,
To excite you,
To get you ready to speak.
You speak slowly,
You don't rush,
You don't need to.
You're simply sharing what you know.
Your mindset is changing around speaking now you have a new confidence because you trust yourself to get the job done you feel calmer you accept yourself fully and completely you use your personality.
Use your hands,
Your shoulders are down,
You're standing tall and you are proud to be speaking.
Whether it's in a meeting on video or standing on a stage your confidence is rising day by day.
Just imagine yourself now about to speak and sure there's some energy But now you know what it is and you are comfortable with it.
That controlled adrenaline,
That energy.
You feel it now,
That new positive anticipation and expectation that you will always control your mind and your body and your energy.
And see yourself in the room where you're speaking.
As you stand there,
You feel your feet firmly on the ground.
And you are aware of people looking at you but it no longer bothers you.
Something has shifted deep within you.
You realize they are not watching you to judge or to catch you out,
They are listening to you learn.
And you are there to teach,
To inform,
To guide.
And you trust yourself now to do it.
And see yourself with a smile on your face.
Speaking easily,
Slowly taking your time point by point.
Your breathing remains easy,
Your voice steady and you feel comfortable because this is just talking.
And it's becoming second nature to you now.
And when you finish up speaking,
You feel so proud of yourself and everyone around you is so proud of you too.
So just take one more deep breath in,
A breath of power.
And as you exhale slowly release anything that is no longer coming with you.
Feel your feet again on that ground beneath you or pressing down into that bed Feel the length of your spine,
Feel the openness of your heart.
Because you are ready.
And even if you feel those nerves,
That energy you know what they are now They are not your enemy.
They are aliveness.
They are the proof that you care.
And when you're ready.
Slowly start to open up your eyes And if you're laying down or sitting,
Just get up now.
Stretch.
And then stand tall,
Drop your shoulders.
Take one final deep breath.
.
.
You are ready to speak,
You have got this.
Thank you so much for joining me today.
I'm Emily Hayden and just remember this people want to learn from the real you.
Because the real you is enough.
You always have been,
You always will be.
So now go and share what you know with ease,
With confidence,
With love.
