Rewire Disappointment: Regulate Your Nervous System

You know that hollow feeling when something you hoped for just... doesn't land the way you needed it to?
That's because disappointment isn't just one emotion. It's two stacked on top of each other. When those two collide, your nervous system collapses under the gap between what was and what is.
This tapping session moves through both layers separately so your body can release what it's been holding and you can separate the event from your sense of self-worth.
Part of The Rewire: From Survival Mode to Self-Trust series.

Transcript

Hello, Beautiful souls. Today, We're going to be working with disappointment. And before we start tapping. . . I want to tell you something that might explain why disappointment hits as hard as it does. Disappointment isn't just one feeling, It's two. Underneath every disappointment, There's sadness. The deflation of hopes that didn't land. Or an outcome that fell short of what you needed. And underneath that, There's expectation. The story you built about how it was supposed to go. That picture in your mind of how things should have been. When those two collide, The story, And the reality of what is. The nervous system doesn't know how to bridge that gap and so it collapses. You can feel that collapse. In your throat, In your chest and that hollow place shows up when something you cared so much about doesn't end up working out. That's not weakness. That's what happens when you actually care about things, And caring about things is not the problem. Today, We're going to move through both layers, The sadness and the story that we tell ourselves. And the story. And then we're going to land somewhere solid. A place where the event that disappointed you doesn't get to decide how you feel about yourself. Let's begin. Let's start by taking a deep breath in through the nose. Holding it at the top. And a long slow exhale through pursed lips. All right, We're going to start by tapping on the side of your hand, Also known as the karate chop point. And again, You can tap with either hand. Whichever feels right to you. So tapping here, We say, Even though I feel this disappointment. I choose to love and accept myself as I am. Even though I feel this disappointment in my body. I choose to deeply and completely accept myself. Even though things did not go the way I needed them to. I choose to be kind to myself. First thing that disappointment does is deflate you. It's like someone took the wind right out of your sails. Your hopes were up. Maybe you didn't even realize how much. Then the outcome came in and it just wasn't enough. We're going to let your body feel that first before we try to do anything with it. So let's start by tapping on the eyebrow point. And again, You can tap with either hand. So at the beginning of your eyebrow, Either hand or both if you want, Tapping here. We say I'm so disappointed. Side of the eye. Something I worked for didn't happen. Under the eye. And I can feel it. That deflation in my chest. Under the nose. My hopes were up. And this isn't what I wanted. I let myself want this. And it still fell short. Collarbone. The sadness is real. And I'm not going to rush past it. Under the arm. And it's okay that it hurts. It means I cared. Top of the head. I see you, Sadness. I'm giving you space to just be here. And let go Now we go to the second layer, Which is the story, Because underneath that sadness is the picture of how it should have gone, How it should have been better, Or how they should have shown up differently. How you should have gotten a different result. This is the story that's keeping you locked in the gap between what should have been. And what is so let's name it let's start by tapping at the eyebrow point This should have gone better. Side of the eye. I had a picture of how it was supposed to go. Under the eye. And reality didn't match it. Under the nose. Part of me is still holding on to how it should have been. On the chin. I am stuck in the gap between expectations. And what really happened. Collarbone. I'm allowed to grieve that gap. And under the arm. And I'm also willing to put that story down. Even just a little. Top of the head. What happened is what happened. I don't have to make it mean what I think it means. And release. Now we're going to separate the event from you. Because here's the thing, What happened is not a verdict on who you are. Or what you're worth, Or what's even possible for you. Disappointment is simply information. It tells you. . . What you care about, Not what you deserve. So let's see if we can land there. Alright, Coming back to the eyebrow point one more time. This event does not define me. Side of the eye. What happened is separate from who I am. Under the eye. I can be disappointed and still be okay. Under the nose. I showed up and that still counts. There are things that are still true and still good. Collarbone. I get to decide what this means going forward. Under the arm. I am more than this one outcome. Top of the head. I am still here. I am still capable. I am still enough. And release. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold at the top. And release. You just did something that most people never do with disappointment. You moved through it, Didn't push it down, You didn't spin it out to a story, And you didn't let it define who you are. You moved through that sadness. That expectation, All of it. And you came out on the other side. This is what rewiring looks like, One layer at a time. And this has been part of the series, The Rewire, From Survival Mode to Self-Trust. And every time you show up to one of these, You're building something real. You're teaching your nervous system a new way. I'm so proud of you for being here. Remember, You are magical and you've got this.