I'm reading a piece called Trembling Anxiety.
This is Excel in Rising.
I am Annamarie.
Welcome.
Trembling Anxiety.
When your body trembles and fear rises to the surface,
Don't judge it or make those experiences mean that your body is failing or betraying you again.
Anxiety happens to all of us,
And it's old,
Unprocessed fear and shock trying to move out of you and trying to alert you to be safe.
I am explaining this from perspective as a Somatic Experiencing Therapist for PTSD and Trauma Recovery.
So when anxiety,
When that shivers and trembling starts to happening in your body,
Maybe something happened that reminded you of what your survival brain labeled as traumatic,
As deeply unsafe.
And it can be a small,
Subtle experience you don't even recognize as a trauma trigger.
But your neuroception or your brain safety detection system does.
And it can be very,
Very,
From outside,
Trivial.
So these are my experiences working with clients.
What I was seeing in my office.
Wind.
Yes,
Wind can cause extreme anxiety in some people.
Because that wind might remind your body of your raging father,
Storming around home,
Causing you to run and hide in your room for the rest of the night.
And body trembles and shakes.
And it's not the wind of the present moment.
It is the storm of terror that happened in the past.
So many times people ask me,
It's all of a sudden.
I didn't have any reason to have a panic attack,
To feel anxiety.
Well,
There is a reason.
There is a reason.
Because your nervous system is so subtle,
It's the finest detector of unsafety.
And something so trivial as wind can cause deep anxiety attack.
Okay?
It can be you packing your bags for vacation.
And all of the sudden,
Your heart races,
You're covered with cold sweat,
And need to leave the house immediately.
So your body trembles and shakes,
Not because of your upcoming trip,
But because it remembers when you had to hurry and pack your things to run away in order to save your life.
It remembers you terrified,
Packing your things,
Scared of the uncertainty and unknown next steps.
When you were exiled,
When you were displaced,
When you were immigrating,
When you were unlegally crossing borders,
Packing things,
Even for vacation,
Will never,
Never feel safe for your nervous system.
So I just want to honor all my clients.
I'm working with clients who are genocide war survivors,
Who survived displacement.
I just want to honor you.
I just want to honor you and hold that place of your experience.
And if someone cannot get you,
Why you're feeling this way when you're supposed to have fun and pack your things?
Thank goodness they didn't have that experience.
Thank goodness they didn't,
And you didn't.
And you honor what you went through and how your body,
How your nervous system wants you safe and alert,
Because nervous system doesn't know the timeline and doesn't know the space.
It only senses dangerous triggers.
Also,
What can fire up anxiety,
It can be someone's innocent comment about you or your experience that spins you into the old hall of shame.
And it's not about the present remarks,
But about the time when sharing your experience made you feel like a burden,
An inconvenience,
A nuisance to your parents or friends.
So your body trembles and shakes because of how you felt unseen and unimportant to the most important people in your life while you were growing up.
And when everything is shaky and restless in your body,
Don't try to explain it with your mind and don't run away.
Do exactly what didn't happen back then.
Wrap yourself in a safe blanket,
Play a calming list of soothing songs,
Sing to yourself,
And rock your body until the storm passes,
And it will.
It will.
Then look around,
Look around the space and notice that safe space you built for yourself.
Do you have a safe hand you can reach out to and hold?
Anything you didn't have in the past,
But you needed,
Do for yourself in the moment when you're in the midst of your anxiety or panic attack.
So use your anchors and let your body feel their depth.
The anxiety of today is trauma from the past,
Trying to remind you it's time to love yourself.
In a way,
Maybe your parents,
Friends,
Country,
System,
Or your partner failed to do so.
So let me repeat this.
The anxiety and panic attack of today is trauma from the past.
It's something what already happened.
It happened.
It's completed.
Trauma is completed.
And all shakes,
Tremors will show up when your nervous system is reminded of just something similar,
What resemble that trauma.
And it's very different.
That's not the same.
That's not the same.
And I hope you can pack your things in your bag with music on,
With ease,
Looking forward to your vacation.
And honor that person who was exiled,
Displaced,
And every single experience you had to go through.
Whatever your story is,
What your experience is,
It's important.
It's yours.
It's yours.
And it's very important.
I am Anamail.
This is Exiled and Rising.
And as always,
Much care.
Much care.
