Dissociation.
Thank you.
Awareness of trauma is dangerous and you don't want to be in awareness mode.
You cannot be in present awareness mode when you're facing abuse,
When you're facing trauma.
Imagine the pain you would feel and the impact of what happened to you if you were fully aware of it,
Or if trauma and abuse was a theme of your life,
If you had to be aware of what was happening growing up for years,
Or being in abusive relationship for years,
Or being in a place of war,
Discrimination,
When you lived it as a theme of your life.
Imagine that pain.
So,
Thank your body for dissociation.
Don't feel ashamed of it and don't let anyone blame you or guilt you when you dissociate.
When people comment,
Huh,
Here you go,
Did you just dissociate again?
Can't you be more present?
What do they know?
What do they know about the pain you felt when you lived it?
They don't know anything.
Your dissociative state knew.
Your protective primal brain knew.
It helped you.
It served you.
Your dissociative state was your protective angel,
Your guardian you didn't have.
That was your dissociation.
Thank your nervous system and your survival brain for guiding you to numb,
To guiding you to float and to move in that dissociative state.
In that space,
Pain wasn't so painful.
There you could be absent.
There you couldn't fully see your injuries while they were happening.
There you felt less.
Say dissociation.
Thank you for protecting me.
There you had to give up your will.
Your dissociation helped you.
When you had to give up your strength,
In the state of being dissociate,
You gained strength back.
You could be that hero.
Then abuse was happening.
Say thank you.
When someone was ripping off your dignity,
Your dissociative state had your dignity still untouched.
When you gave up your hope in dissociate state,
You could build dreams.
You could build your fantasy land.
Say dissociation.
Thank you.
When you gave up love in dissociate state,
You felt loved by fairies,
By angels,
By God,
By divine.
Say thank you dissociation.
Then you lost your drive to live because you were so exhausted.
In dissociate state,
You could rest.
When you were sitting at the family dinner table and embarrassment and shame was too much to bear,
You could tune out and say thank you dissociative state.
Thank you.
You hold my spine straight.
You hold my legs so I don't collapse.
Thank you dissociate state.
When you had to grieve and grief was too much to handle,
Or when others were afraid of seeing your grief,
You could dissociate and spend your time with the one you lost.
Thank you my dissociate state.
You helped me grieve.
Thank you my dissociate state.
I could grieve in your protective hands.
When they twisted your mind,
Your dissociative state pulled you out in a space of peace.
When you had to adapt your core to survive,
Your dissociative state held you back.
When you had to bend your bones,
Your dissociative state straight up your spine.
So don't be embarrassed of your dissociative state and don't let anyone make you feel embarrassed when you zoned out.
And today,
Now,
With your full awareness,
When the things are okay,
When the things are fine,
When you see yourself around your friends,
Around your loved ones,
You can say,
I know you got,
I know you do,
I am fine.
Thank you dissociation.
Thank you for guarding me,
Protecting me,
Holding me.
Thank you for being my competent adult when no one was there.
Thank you for being my mother when I didn't have a mother.
Thank you for being my father when I didn't have one.
Thank you for pulling me out.
Thank you for helping me to survive.
And just take a look around and notice how do you feel in this moment right now?
Is it safe?
If it's safe,
With full awareness and gratitude,
Say to your dissociation,
I know you got me.
I know you do.
I know you do.
You can rest.
You can rest.
I'm safe.
I'm safe now.
You can rest.
I'm safe now.
Dissociation.
Thank you.
