Hello again.
How many times have you been told in your life,
Pay yourself.
But what if the self you believe yourself to be is not actually what you are?
Confused?
Now,
Who you believe yourself to be has been formed over many years.
Years of experiences,
Of memories,
Of emotions,
Of judgements.
Something happens in your life and you interpret that experience.
And that interpretation can become an extension of how you understand yourself.
Then another experience,
Another interpretation.
And so on.
And gradually,
Over the years,
All of these experiences and the meanings we have given to them are held within memory.
They begin to form a framework,
A foundation,
For who we believe ourselves to be.
And this framework then becomes a reference point for all future experiences.
It influences how we make decisions.
It helps us understand what may happen or how we arrive at our conclusions.
And how we see ourselves in relation to the world around us.
And eventually without ever consciously questioning it.
All of these experiences,
We arrive at the belief,
This is who I am.
Yet what people know you as is one thing,
What you truly know yourself to be is another.
Can be something very different.
People generally know you through your name,
Your likes and dislikes,
Your friends,
Where you live,
Your work.
Your hobbies and your family life.
Now,
Most people would never question this way of knowing another individual.
It is simply how we have learnt to judge and assess one another.
We see others using the same criteria in much the same way as they see us.
Could this simply be part of being human?
Now,
Perhaps this question itself is a doorway.
A doorway through which we can begin to look beyond who we have imagined ourselves and others to be.
The mind of identity refers to what has been seen and heard.
It remembers,
It compares,
It interprets.
It says,
Ah,
I know what this means.
It has learned to understand what happens through what has happened before.
It looks to memory to experience to interpretation.
To make sense of what is happening now.
And when something arises that cannot be understood through what has been known before,
Or be recalled from memory,
The mind may feel uncertain.
This is why what we call the unknown can sometimes feel unsettling.
Because the unknown cannot be understood through what has been known before.
Yet,
There can be another way of living our life.
A knowing that does not arise from interpretation or from memory.
It does not need to explain itself.
It may not even require words to be known.
It is simply quietly aware.
Silent.
Present.
And here.
This deeper knowing may at times be in conflict with everything the mind considers logical.
The mind says,
This makes no sense.
And yet,
Something within quietly knows.
This is right.
Perhaps this is the difference between the mind of identity and the natural mind of being.
The mind of identity asks,
Who do I believe myself to be?
The natural mind of a biting bean does not need an answer.
It does not need to answer.
It is inseparably present.
All Knowing.
And perhaps this is why we can sometimes intuitively sense a deeper truth.
Even when we cannot consciously explain it.
Because it is not based on another belief about who we are.
It is the silent presence in which the sense of who I am is being experienced.
Hole.
And complete.
So now the invitation is not to become someone else.
It is not even to create a better version of yourself.
It is simply not to confuse who you believe yourself to be.
With what you timelessly are.
The person you believe yourself to be belongs to memory,
To experience.
To interpretation,
To language.
But what you are does not need to be defined.
It is already inseparably present.
And this is where a leap of faith begins,
Not knowing what will happen.
But no longer allowing the fear of the unknown to decide for you,
To trust that which is deeper than the remembered construct of yourself.
As Sri C.
M.
The great spiritual master said,
Every leap of faith is bound to have a soft landing.
Do not be yourself.
Not the separate self that is a concept.
Be willing now to recognize what is here.
Present and spacious.
That which is before the mind recalls who you are.
Then you will discover that what you have always called yourself was never the wholeness.
Of what you truly are.
