Dealing With Loss And Grief

Whether you're struggling with recent loss or carrying the weight of past sorrows, this nurturing meditation is a space for you to explore your emotions with gentleness and compassion.

“You can’t truly heal from a loss until you allow yourself to really feel the loss.” - Mandy Hale

Grief is a natural response to loss and it manifests in various ways for different individuals. It is essential to recognize that there is no "right" way to grieve; everyone experiences it uniquely.

Grief can bring forth a range of emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. Accepting these emotions without judgment is a crucial first step in the healing process.

Transcript

Hello beautiful community and welcome to your journey to mindfulness.

Welcome to this new practice.

Today I wanted to share with you a guided meditation for dealing with grief and loss.

So I actually shared a post a few weeks back on Instagram and on my website on how to use mindfulness to better cope with grief.

But today I really wanted to share this guided relaxation meditation to help you normalize the grief experience and also explain the stages of grief.

So I will start just to talk a little bit about the different types of losses because grief can result from a variety of types of losses.

Some kinds of losses are well recognized for example the death of a loved one,

A divorce or the loss of a job.

And other types of losses can be just as difficult to deal with but may be less well understood.

Might be losses that may include loss of a pet,

A relocation,

Changing jobs,

Infertility,

Illness or any other event that changes life plans.

So loss can be experienced with both negative and positive events and even maybe positive overall.

For example getting a promotion at work that you were hoping for but still be associated with loss.

You know the loss of what is familiar,

The loss of the old way of living,

Any sort of change can be associated with feelings of loss.

So perhaps you are currently dealing with a change that is reasonably positive and your grief is relatively simple to deal with.

Maybe you are coping with a significant loss and are going through a challenging grief process.

Or maybe you have experienced a huge loss that has profoundly changed your life and you are having difficulty dealing with grief.

Whatever your situation,

Your grief is real and your loss is important.

And something that is quite important as well,

Though you need time in solitude to come to terms with the loss you have experienced,

It's also important to accept support from others.

So reach out to someone who can offer you support.

You might want to call a friend even if you haven't spoken in a while.

It's okay to ask for what you need.

Often people do not know how to support you and they feel relieved if you ask for something specific.

Ask for help.

Even if it's just calling a friend and asking to eat a meal together,

Any small act of support can help you to feel less alone.

You may also find it therapeutic to journal your grief.

But before thinking about your loss and beginning the process of dealing with grief,

Let's start by centering ourselves.

So whenever you are ready,

I invite you to take a comfortable position where you feel supported.

You may just sit or lie down.

And if it's okay with you,

You can gently close the eyes.

But if you prefer,

You may as well look at a fixed point in front of you or towards the floor.

You do not need to do anything in particular.

And now take a deep breath and as you breathe out,

Feel your body sinking into the surface you are on.

Breathe slowly in and out.

Breathe in and out.

In and out.

Keep breathing slowly and calmly.

Let the breath flow.

And now imagine that your body is a fleece blanket.

Imagine that the blanket is dipped into warm water.

Imagine how it would feel to be floating,

Suspended in the warm water.

With gentle waves moving your body.

Can you picture being lifted out of the water?

The heaviness of the water stretching the blanket.

Stretching your body so that you are very tall.

And imagine that the blanket is placed on the warm concrete surface in the Sun.

Imagine how it would feel to be this blanket.

So warm and heavy.

Completely limp.

And steam rises from your body.

Warmed from beneath by the warm concrete.

And warm from above by the Sun.

Imagine how we would feel to be this damp blanket and have the water slowly evaporating.

Becoming lighter and lighter.

Steam rising.

Carrying the water away.

Feel your whole body becoming lighter.

Soft.

Totally limp.

Let your body become completely calm.

So serene.

Breathing in and out.

In.

And out.

Dealing with the grief is very tiring and you may have been feeling tired and stressed and burnt out lately.

And this may be caused by the grief process.

It's completely normal to be short-tempered and have problems with memory and concentration.

These symptoms of dealing with grief can be troubling but they are completely normal.

And they will go away.

You will gradually get back to feeling like yourself.

But right now you are healing.

And the process of dealing with grief is similar to the process of recovering from a physical injury.

When a physical injury occurs the body needs time to heal and recover.

And dealing with grief is no different.

The mind needs time to recover and heal.

You need the time to cope and deal with grief.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself this needed time.

Sometimes people who are dealing with grief feel like they are going crazy.

You are not going crazy.

You are going through something completely normal and natural.

There are actually several stages of grief and it's normal to experience these stages.

Many of them more than once and in no particular order.

It's normal to experience numbness,

A time where you do not feel very much at all.

This does not mean that you are insensitive or that you do not care.

Rather it's the mind's way of protecting you and a normal way of processing a traumatic experience such as loss.

Numbness and shock are a normal reaction to loss.

Another stage that you may experience is anger.

You may find that you are angry,

Frustrated,

Upset.

It's okay to be angry when you lose something that is important to you.

Angry towards the person or thing you lost.

Angry at the world,

At God,

At the causes of your loss.

You may even feel angry towards other who have not been through what you have.

Not all of the anger is rational and that is because you are grieving.

People who are dealing with grief do not always think rationally.

Your thinking will become more clear as you cope with grief.

So the passage of time will help to decrease the irrational thoughts and the extreme anger.

And you will also probably go through a stage of questioning,

Wondering why,

Trying to get answers.

It can be hard to understand why losses happen.

As part of the process of dealing with grief you may seek answers as to why the loss happened and try to make sense of what has occurred.

You may find yourself bargaining,

Trying to make deals with others,

With yourself or with God to try to make things go back to the way they were before the loss happened.

Questioning and bargaining are normal parts of dealing with grief.

Another stage in dealing with grief is a stage of loneliness and sadness.

This is a time of low energy,

Feeling slowed down,

Sad,

Maybe even depressed.

During this time it's hard to focus and concentrate.

You can experience memory problems,

Sometimes feel confused,

Distracted,

Have difficulty sleeping,

Like you are not yourself fully.

And it's normal to feel this way because you are grieving.

It's okay to feel sad and upset when you experience loss.

These feelings can be very intense and painful and while you are getting through this pain,

Remember that it will gradually decrease as you heal.

Even though it may feel like the sadness will go on and on,

You will not feel this way forever.

Acceptance is another stage of grief.

During this stage you begin to recreate a new life in the aftermath of the loss.

You begin to accept that things have changed,

Your life is different,

Maybe not better,

Maybe not worse,

Just different.

Acceptance is the act of coming to the realization that the loss has occurred but that you can move on.

And it's normal to proceed through the stages of grief in a nonlinear order.

For example you may experience acceptance and then return again to anger.

It's okay to be wherever you are at.

It's okay to ask questions and to feel upset.

You have the right to grieve and you can get through this.

You will feel better and you will make a new life.

Your new life may be different that the life you had planned,

But you cannot always plan for losses.

And it's okay to experience a variety of emotions.

It's okay to be angry.

It's okay to be sad.

It's okay to feel relief and you can still care even if you feel relieved in some ways.

It's okay to feel guilty.

It's okay to feel impatient to get upset at things that seem small and insignificant.

You're going through a hard time and a confusing mix of feelings.

It's completely normal.

This is the human experience of grief.

You are coping,

You are dealing with grief and you will come out the other side stronger.

Truth is you did not deserve this loss.

It's not your fault.

You are dealing with a situation that is challenging,

Difficult,

Perhaps devastating and you cannot be expected to be over this immediately.

And there may not be any reason why things happen this way.

Many of the things that happen in life do not make sense.

You can grow and become stronger as a result of these challenges even though there is no good explanation as to why you had to go through such difficult times.

And even after you have dealt with the grief you will have times where you feel like you are right back where you started.

This is normal.

Everyone has their own way of going through the process of dealing with grief.

You do not need to grieve in a particular way.

Do whatever is right for you.

You can cry or not,

Be more busy or less busy.

Grieve in your own way.

But remember though you need time in solitude to come to terms with the loss you have experienced,

It's also important to accept support from others.

Reach out to someone who can offer you support.

You might want to call a friend even if you haven't spoken in a while.

It's okay to ask for what you need.

Often people do not know how to support you and they feel relieved if you ask for something specific.

Ask for help even if it's just calling a friend and asking to eat a meal together.

Any small act of support can help you to feel less alone.

You may even want to seek out others who are dealing with grief to find support from people who can relate to what you are going through.

You can find support in the community or on the internet.

You are not alone.

Really allow yourself the time you need to grieve.

And I know it's easier said than done,

But try to take good care of yourself to get your body moving,

To keep a regular sleep-wake schedule.

You need the strength.

And now if you want you can take a moment to just be with the feelings you have.

Just to allow the grief,

Face the emotions and accept that you are grieving.

I'll just pause here for a minute and during this time you may choose to just relax and breathe deeply or you might decide to just go with the emotions you have and experience the grief.

Experience the sensations of the grief.

Do whatever feels right for you right now.

And if you need more time,

Go ahead and pause this audio and resume whenever you are ready.

And as we conclude this session together,

I'd like you to just focus on your breathing for a few moments.

Can you just breathe in slowly and then breathe out fully.

You can either exhale through the nose or through the mouth.

Whatever feels best for you.

Simply focus on your breathing.

Deep breath in and out.

And in and out.

Slowly breathing,

Letting everything go.

You can stay there as long as you wish.

Perhaps you may want to reawaken or drift off to sleep.

And if you decide to wake up and go on with your day,

Just let yourself become more and more awake.

Paying attention to the sounds around you.

We're introducing some very gentle movements through your fingers,

Through your toes.

And if you decide to sleep,

Become sleepier with every breath you take.

Lengthening the exhales until you're deeply asleep.

Thank you for being with me today,

For listening.

And I'll see you next time for another practice.

Until then,

Take care of yourself.