All emotions are valid.
But how we express them may not be.
Emotions are messages.
They tell us something about what's happening.
They're trying to keep us safe.
Trying to warn us,
Trying to get us to do something or stop having something done.
All of our emotions are valid,
No matter what they are.
But the intensity of the emotion.
And how we choose to express them may need to be tweaked or altered.
Take anger for example.
We're sort of taught in society that anger is wrong,
And to express anger particularly is wrong.
And it makes sense,
Right?
If there is a kid in the classroom or at home and they're violently aggressive.
That's not safe,
We need to curtail that a little bit.
If someone's yelling,
We need to pull that back a little bit.
Otherwise society won't function and we'll grow up to be adults that can't maintain relationships,
Can't work.
It makes sense.
But in curtailing some of the expressions of anger.
Our ability to feel and appreciate and accept our anger is,
Well,
Curtailed.
We start to have shame ruminations.
We push it down.
And then either we turn inwards or it gets too much and we express outwards.
Both of those expressions of anger are not great.
The emotion of anger,
And any emotion,
Is valid.
It's okay and necessary.
It's a survival mechanism to feel anger.
What is anger?
It is telling us that we need to protect ourselves in some capacity.
What is anxiety?
It's warning us that danger might come and we need to,
Well,
Address it,
Right?
What is jealousy?
Jealousy is the fear that we won't have enough,
That something will be taken from us,
That we will go without.
What is joy?
It is letting us know that this is good and we should embrace it and move towards it more.
And so on and so forth.
All of the emotions are valid.
So there's two parts here when an emotion arises.
You will feel certain things in the body to know you're feeling the emotion.
Certain thoughts will come up.
Certain actions might form or want to form.
Okay,
We've got this emotion.
What do I do with it?
We check the facts.
What's happening.
What actions?
Will best align with my future goals and future health.
Now,
Expressing anger.
It doesn't have to be physical and it shouldn't be physical,
Right?
Except for in certain very specific circumstances.
But it may be more appropriate to use our words.
To assertively communicate.
To stand up for ourselves,
To set a boundary,
To say no.
Anxiety.
It may want us to run too high to avoid.
Not necessarily the most long-term appropriate solution for relationships in life.
But it may be appropriate to take precautions.
And so on and so forth.
Joy.
What is joy telling us to do?
It's telling us to be in the present moment and embrace what's arising.
Because this moment is fleeting and it's beautiful and we should be here for it.
Not on our phones or doing some other chore.
Right?
It's here.
This is great.
Become aware of your emotions.
Consider the reaction or the actions that you want to take.
Do does the intensity of the reaction and the emotion fit the circumstances?
And can you validate the emotion,
Accept the emotion?
As it is.
It's valid.
And express it in a way that aligns with long-term health outcomes.
And values.
Yeah,
Good luck.
