Small Changes Can Lead To Big Joys

This session highlights how small changes on our behalf can lead to big joys for others - reaffirming the importance of empathetic actions and the fostering of positive feelings towards others. The session ends with the practice of 'Meta' meditation (loving-kindness). This track is taken from my course, ‘The Path Within: Lessons From A 10-Day Vipassana Retreat’, available now via my profile.

Transcript

Day three.

Small acts can lead to big joys.

So in the first session,

I introduced you to the story of my sleeping issues,

The people next to me snoring,

And how I reframed I have to deal with this to I get to.

I get to learn how to manage my sleep.

Well,

Of course,

That night where I was meditating,

Where I was listening to the sounds of snoring,

And focusing on my breath,

And learning how to best adapt to a snoring environment,

I of course,

Well,

Didn't get any sleep.

And this was okay,

Because I knew I was learning something.

But then I also knew that I needed some help.

I needed some guidance.

I needed some sort of instruction from the instructor to help me to manage my growing sleep fatigue.

I was tired.

And I was concerned that the tiredness would impact my ability to learn.

I was concerned with the growing feeling of frustration that I was falling asleep in the daily meditations,

Rather than,

You know,

Doing the practice that I was to be doing,

Doing the Vipassana meditation.

So that day,

After the midday sit,

We were invited to ask the teacher a question,

And say,

Hey,

You know,

Clarify this part of the practice,

Or what am I doing if?

So I asked the teacher,

I said,

Hey,

You know,

I'm not able to sleep that much due to the people in my room,

There's a couple of snorers quite loud,

And I decided to respond to it in this way,

You know,

Talking about reframing from I have to,

To I get to,

And practicing,

But I'm subsequently wasn't able to sleep.

And with a little bit of a back and forwards,

The teacher suggested that he would sort it out.

And then sort of sent me on my way.

And I was sitting out in the garden and meditating and,

You know,

Doing my thing,

When the manager came up to me and handed me a piece of paper.

And all this piece of paper said was,

Your new room is M5.

And my heart started to flutter.

I felt this tremendous feeling of joy.

Because although I was committing myself to,

You know,

Learning the lesson of sleep,

I didn't want that lesson to be the only thing I learned here.

And when I went to the room,

I realized that rather than being a dormitory,

I was given my own small room,

My own bed with a own bed with a closed door and thick walls,

A window and a heater.

It was tiny with a little more space than a bed and a place to put my suitcase.

But it was a room that I could call my own a small sanctuary.

Because although I couldn't talk,

Although we couldn't make eye contact,

Although we couldn't have physical contact,

Being around other people in such intimate circumstances,

Sleeping in the same room as another is a lot.

It's a lot for someone like me,

Who's by nature introverted,

And by nature,

A little bit wary,

By nature,

A little bit overwhelmed and in a new environment.

So when I was given my own room,

My heart leapt out.

And I felt such joy,

Just happiness,

That such small change could bring such deep resonance,

Such deep feelings of elation,

Such deep feelings of,

Oh,

This is going to be okay.

And the moment I stepped into that room,

I knew,

Okay,

I'm here for the 10 days,

I can do this.

I will be able to sleep,

I'll be able to focus,

I'll be able to dedicate myself,

I'll be able to get the most from this course.

Because yes,

I have to becomes I get to.

But also,

By sharing,

By talking,

By opening up,

People can,

Out of the kindness of their heart,

Do small things that can lead to big joys.

And the obvious lesson here is to turn it the other way around.

If I'm attentive to the needs of others,

If I'm aware that other people might get such joy by small changes that I can do in my life,

That really cost me nothing,

It didn't take much for the management to work out that there was a spare room and to allow me to move into it.

But they could have easily said,

These are the rooms that have been assigned.

Here's some headphones,

Deal with it,

Could have easily disregarded it,

They could have easily said,

Well,

Continue to use it as a way to develop your meditation practice to develop your equanimity.

They could have done any number of those things.

But instead,

They did the small kindness and gave me the room.

And I was so thoroughly grateful.

So then I thought,

Well,

What can I do in my life,

For my family,

For my friends,

For my colleagues,

For the world in general,

What small changes can I do that may make profound differences?

I'm going to come back to this on day 10,

In which this was happening where I was doing something,

Unbeknownst to me,

That was helping there was helping a stranger.

But there was another thing that happened to me,

Or for me,

That brought me some joy,

Something very small.

I have food issues.

I can't eat much gluten,

Much dairy,

I can't eat lentils,

Without feeling issues in my belly.

And I shared these feelings with the management,

And they made arrangements,

Lovely,

Beautiful,

In which basically resulted in me being able to have food that I could eat.

And the food that I could eat daily happened to be rice,

I could eat rice with some salad,

And a little bit of things on the side,

Or they were kind enough to prepare me a separate meal,

Which didn't,

You know,

Trigger those intolerances.

But by day seven,

I was getting thoroughly sick of rice for breakfast,

And rice for lunch.

And I was craving potatoes,

Just roast potatoes.

And it sounds small,

But,

You know,

Once again,

You go to a course like this,

And you give up control.

You live on the charity of others,

You don't choose,

You just gratefully accept what is given.

But far out,

I wanted some potatoes.

And I went to lunch,

And sat down,

And once again,

To my absolute joy,

We were being served roast potatoes,

A little bit of salt and pepper on top,

Some rosemary and thyme and other flavors.

And just like being given the room,

My heart leapt.

And it was like the universe was answering a prayer.

Such a small thing,

Such a small little joy,

Just a change,

Just a craving fulfilled.

But it was lovely.

And it made me realize,

It made me think once again,

It reaffirmed this message,

That small acts can lead to big joys.

Small changes,

Small thoughts for other people,

Can lead to big feelings.

And it reminded me,

After thinking back to this course,

On the 10th day,

We were taught the practice of Metta,

Loving kindness.

But I think it'll be worthwhile exploring this practice,

This technique,

Here and now.

Because how do we ensure that we are acting in a way that can best benefit others?

How do we do things for other people?

How do we be kind?

And do we even want to be kind to other people?

How does it benefit us?

Why should we?

Well,

At the very end of the course,

The last day,

We were given the practice of loving kindness.

We stopped the observation of the breath and the body,

And instead projected deep feelings of loving kindness to ourselves and to all living beings.

With the idea being that if you truly do sit and consider,

If you truly do contemplate,

You start to see that you really do want everyone,

Well,

To be happy.

Because if everyone was happy,

Then the amount of harm and duress and ill will and issues in the world would reduce.

Everything would improve if everyone had a little bit more loving kindness for one another.

So to practice this technique,

I invite you to take a seat and get yourself comfortable and just settle with your thoughts.

Settle into the breath.

And then just repeat the following words or words that you choose that have the resonance of loving kindness for yourself and the world.

To be clear,

You're not sending psychic energy.

You're not projecting a prayer.

This is just more you opening your heart space,

Softening your feelings,

And being open.

We start with the self.

May I be free of ill will,

Be free of suffering,

Be full of loving kindness,

And be happy.

May all beings be free of ill will,

Be free of suffering,

Be full of loving kindness,

And be happy.

You project these feelings outwards and inwards and everywhere and just sit with the resonance that arises.

May I be peaceful.

May I be calm.

May I be happy.

May my suffering end.

May all beings be peaceful,

Happy,

And calm.

May the suffering of all beings end.

May I forgive anyone and everyone who has wronged me,

Intentionally or unintentionally,

Unintentionally,

By their words or actions or thoughts.

May anyone who I have wronged or harmed forgive me for anything I've done,

Intentionally or unintentionally,

With my words or actions or thoughts.

May I be free of ill will,

Free of suffering,

Full of loving kindness.

May I be happy.

May all beings be free of ill will,

Free of suffering,

Full of loving kindness.

May all beings may all beings be happy.

So let's sit together for one minute and just cultivate these feelings of metta,

Of loving kindness.

So today we looked at the idea that small acts of kindness can lead to big joys and introduced the practice of metta meditation,

Of loving kindness,

Of wishing the end of suffering to yourself and to all beings.

That all beings be free of ill will,

Free of suffering,

Full of loving kindness and happy.

With the idea that we're opening up our heart space and embracing the idea that we truly,

Deeply want peace,

Not only for ourselves but for everything,

For every being.

With the knowledge that doing so would lead to a much more harmonious and better world.

Now this practice,

Metta meditation,

Can feel challenging at first,

Particularly when you realize that by wishing all beings well,

All beings include people that have harmed you,

People that have wronged you,

People that have caused you to suffer.

All the practice might feel contrived or a bit forced,

But trust me when I say that if you work with this technique,

If you practice this technique,

Things will begin to unlock and the resonance of loving kindness will fill your days and fill your interactions and the people around you will start to soften in response.

We were given this technique on day 10 with the idea being that it is to be used after our formal vipassana sits.

You sit in silent observation of the breath,

Of the sensations arising in the body,

And we'll delve into that in the next few sessions.

But we were told to end our sessions with loving kindness,

The idea being that we've sat,

We've processed,

We've felt our feelings with equanimity.

And then we wish this same process,

This same growth,

This same achievement,

This same peace to the world.

And there really is something beautiful about that.

So I encourage you to sit with this technique as well as any thoughts,

Feelings and insights that have arisen and take some time to explore it and implement the fruits of your practice into your life.

Do the small things for other people that may lead to big joys,

Even if you never discover what those joys are.

And if you have any questions,

Would like some further clarification or have an insight you wish to share,

Please do so in the classroom.

There,

I'll be able to give you a voice response.

You'll be able to read the questions and answers from other students.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further introspection and insight.

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This track was taken from the course,

The Path Within.

Lessons from a 10-day vipassana course.

It's out now on Insight Timer and available through my profile.

I invite you to check it out.