How To Recover From Trauma

This talk offers guidance on how to heal from trauma, release long-held pain, and reintegrate lost parts of yourself. It draws on my clinical work as a psychotherapist, alongside scientific research, spiritual teachings, and lived experience. Simply put, the body keeps the score. Things happened in the past that were too much for us to process, so we adapted. We disconnected, suppressed, and developed ways of thinking, feeling, and seeing the world that helped us survive. But what kept us safe back then may no longer serve us today. Healing involves turning inward, reconnecting with our core Self, and approaching these wounded parts with compassionate curiosity and calm confidence. To sit, feel, listen, and allow. Not to force healing, but to create the space for it to happen naturally, safely, and in its own time.

Transcript

Want to talk a little bit about. Reclaiming our past. Reclaiming our childhood. Healing from past traumas, Reintegration, Release, These kind of things. There are many different theories and approaches. And my approach draws from a number of them. The work that I call intuitive guidance takes from internal family systems, Semantics, Mindfulness, Cbt dbt it's a bit eclectic but I call it intuitive guidance because, At my core, I am person-centered. Client-centered. In my psychotherapy work. In my teaching. I believe that you. Person, Self. Has the most wisdom, Knows your inner state best. Perhaps with guidance, Perhaps with Support. The self, You at your core, Your intuition, Whatever you call that space or place. Will be able to reconnect and return. So to that we add a mind-body connection. Semantics. We hold stuff in the body, The body keeps the score. Literally physically, When you injure yourself your body tenses up against future pain, And a lot of Physiotherapy physical work is you reminding your body that it's actually safe to move in a full range of motion. But that's also true for the mind state. For you as a whole entity. Things happen in the past. And we do things physically and mentally to survive, To protect ourselves. We block off, We ignore, We run, We fight back, We fawn, We fall into a fantasy response. We start judging or viewing the world in certain ways. As a way to keep us safe, As a way to make sense of what is going on, As a way to. Survive. Our body tenses against the wound, We tense against reality. To make sure that we continue. That survival does not care for happiness. That cares for survival. Then when we do survive, Years pass and we are still holding on to those damages, Those woundings, Or more specifically, Our body and our mind is still keeping the score. And fair enough, It worked. So we begin the intuitive guidance process by grounding in the self. Sitting in that sense of self, I call it the hard space. You might find that space located in the mind somewhere. Doesn't really matter. Might just be a general sense, But you find it the self. Internal family systems perspective this is a part of you that is compassionate. Curious, Courageous, Clear, Creative, Connected, Confident, And calm. A part of you that is present, Perceptive. Patient. Playful and persistent. From a dialectic behavioral therapy sense, It could be the wise mind. From a spiritual or religious sense it could be the self. It's you at your call, Your intuition. You connect and ground into this space. Finding it fully. From there you feel the parts of the body that are holding on to things. You could do this through a body scan. Or you might just know. And you feel the sensations deeply, Fully, Totally. But you do so with an attitude of openness, Of vulnerability, Of acceptance. Approaching and accepting what arises with compassionate curiosity and calm confidence, Without judgment. I often find myself when I discover new aspects inside. They don't want to. Sort of accept it. So it fixes now, It's like I'm trying to push the healing, Push the process. But every time I'm always reminded, It's like, No. I've got to go through it, I've got to feel it fully. If you visualise this part of you as a young version of you. Like an inner child. Part of you needs to express, To release, To be heard. Because at the time maybe you weren't able to do so. So we've got to be our own loving inner parent and simply listen. I know with parts that I work on, Sometimes it's just chaotic screaming rage. Uncontrollable. Intensity. And I admit that at times it's too much. It sort of pushes me out of that self sense and I want to block it off. When that happens, You get into a dialogue with it and say, Hey, I will be here and I will return, But let's just go slow. So we can both work towards healing often times you'll find parts that are feeling something and then other parts not wanting you to feel that part. Blocking you off, Afraid that if you go into a practice like this, That you'll open a box? And the system will break down. An imagery that comes up for me sometimes is that of a dam. One part of me wants to push through and release, Another part's worried about flooding the system. Path that's worried about flooding the system blocks it off with a dam or with an ice shelf or something like that blocks it off. That causes the emotions to build up. And eventually that dam breaks and overwhelms the system. Proving the part that wants to block it off, Saying, Hey, Look at the damage you did. But also never satiating the part that needs to release. So it's the self, You step back, You see it all and you go, Okay but clearly we need to release some. There needs to be a flow. That's the lifeblood, That's our energy. But maybe not all of it all at once. Honoring both spaces. So we feel the sensations deeply, Allowing them fully. At least to the extent we can and we open up our mind space. Often times colours or moods or memories or emotions or images come up. Oftentimes, Symbolisms come up. Like the idea of. Resolving or at least evolving those inner images, Those visions. Helping this part. Process to release to go through it. It's like us from ourself, From our core, From this present moment, It's like here you go, Let's go through it. Let's change it. Let's plant that seed. Let's release that energy. Let's transform that image. Let's reshape it. It's almost like we're engaging narratively with the imagery that is arising from this part. All the while we stay sensing or feeling the parts of the body that are arising. All the while maintaining openness of mind space. With curiosity. Asking this part. How old are you? What are you holding on to? How are you keeping us safe? What do you need me to know, To see, To feel, To understand? What burdens are you carrying? Than simply listening, Feeling, Being there. Inviting this part. Inviting this part to return. But it's an invitation, Not a command. What are the ways to heal from? Past is to bring it to the present. You're here now. Are you here now? You go to the past memory, You bring it to the present. Past, Present, Past, Present I like the imagery of the breath, The heart space being a glowing ball of energy or a light or a flame. Traveling to that part of the body. Bringing it to the present, Traveling there, Bringing it back, Traveling there, Bringing it back. Again and again and again. Or at least offering. Or at least showing the path. Offering love, Returning with trust. We always end the sessions with the commitment to return. Because over time these parts might take time. Well, They will. They believe that they are keeping you safe. The way that they're helping you to see the world, The way that the body is tensing, Did keep you safe. So why would they stop? Only stop when they trust that you, Your core, Now have got it. Understand it. And even then it will take time. But eventually there will be a release and a return. And when it happens, It's like a massive weight off the shoulders, It's tension released in the body, It's chronic pain disappearing, It's an opening, An expansion, It's. . . Beautiful. It's transformative. To release. It's a returning, It's a reclamation, It's. . . I want to say miraculous, But. This to evoke the imagery of like a deity isn't necessary because this is an internal process. Now if you are religious or spiritual, You can bring that energy into this space. Draw upon the love of God or the universe or a spiritual figure. Or at least just the self within. But it's not necessarily necessary. This process will happen naturally. We're effectively doing what animals do naturally. You watch an animal that goes through something, It runs away, It gets to safety and it shakes it off. It returns back to its base rate, It heals. But humans for whatever reason have been conditioned not to release, Not to let go, Not to move the body or vocalise, Not to express. And that comes at a cost. We hold on to things. But through a process like this intuitive guidance work, We connect, We feel, We open. And with time and patience and vulnerability. It will come. The final thing I would say on this is that we can't force that release. Despite wanting to. I find myself doing it all of the time. Every time there's a new area, It's like, Hey, I'm feeling you, Let's release, Let's do it. So that it can stop feeling it. But that's not true acceptance. That's an acceptance with a caveat. I accept you, So go away. It's like, No, I accept you, So I will feel you fully. It's like you gotta feel your feelings. And if you didn't feel them back then, You've got to feel them now. When you do this work. Do it safely. Do it slowly, Do it in combination with a base mindfulness practice, Perhaps with a therapist. Or other people around you with the habits and the routines with the self-care. And treat it almost like you're an archaeologist brushing away the sand from a monument. We're not using an excavator, We're not going fast, But we are going slow and persistent, And eventually you'll uncover something beautiful. Yourself. Part of you. That was long lost. And when you see that, When it returns. Healing will come. Don't rush it.