Playing - Becoming Buddha

This is an extract from 'Becoming Buddha', a small meditation book by Vikram.

"It's Friday evening and we have the weekend off. Dan asks me what I want to do. ‘I don't know.’ I ask him. He doesn't know either. I get annoyed. I want him to suggest something. He suggests we can go on a trip to the mountains if I want to. ‘I don't know.’ I come with counter-arguments. He suggests something else. ‘I don't know.’ I feel childish. I feel angry and sad without knowing why and what to do about it."

Transcript

It's Friday evening and we have the weekend off.

Dan asks me what I want to do.

I don't know.

I ask him.

He doesn't know either.

I get annoyed.

I want him to suggest something.

He suggests we can go on a trip to the mountains if I want to.

I don't know.

I come with counterarguments.

He suggests something else.

I don't know.

I feel childish.

I feel angry and sad without knowing why and what to do about it.

I feel like a small child,

Defiant and difficult,

And struggling to be anything else,

Overpowered and helpless.

And I'm afraid that I'm unlovable when I'm like this.

Dan and I are similar in our meditative approaches,

But also different.

Smiles,

Laughter and humour have been important for him in coping with life.

He tries to transform what he considers negative into something positive.

I want to be with what is,

Even the pain with loving awareness.

Dan makes another suggestion.

I don't want to do that either.

How shall I respond?

What do I say and do now?

I decide to exaggerate what I say and how I say it,

The tone of voice and facial expression.

I really go into the role of the small child,

Defiant and difficult.

I don't want to!

I don't want to!

Then we both burst out laughing.

See for yourself.

When you're with another person,

Notice how you and they approach difficulties differently.

Perhaps you can acknowledge both approaches.

Perhaps you can be inspired and do something new.

Perhaps you can experiment and be a bit playful.

For example,

Exaggerate whatever pain you're feeling and how you are acting out.

That way you acknowledge the pain and at the same time you're taking a playful approach to the human drama.

If something feels personal,

Put on the mask,

The persona,

And act the part consciously.

Perhaps tragedy can also become comedy.