Forever One little ripple and they all wobble.
A strong one and they scatter hither thither.
At sixteen,
There was always an extra F.
No BF on its own.
Believing in this forever with every cell of my body,
I didn't even think there could exist an alternate universe where my childhood best friend isn't my best friend anymore.
I live in that alternate universe now.
At twenty-seven,
I knew,
Just knew,
The community I'd built around me would always be tight-knit.
Game nights,
Potluck days,
Adventures bordering on the,
Ahem,
Adventurous.
We'd keep doing this.
I grew attached,
Loved them with all my heart.
One moved away across the ocean,
Then another,
Then another.
The knots unravelled.
No knitting is that tight.
At thirty-five,
I was dead sure.
My team,
My business,
Our guests.
This was going to be my life until I was too old to go on.
I couldn't trust the stark belief in forever this time.
I mean,
I was in my mid-thirties.
I'd earned this freedom to know where I could place my faith.
I was set for life.
And then came a ripple in the shape of invisible wee bitey creatures.
Hordes and hordes of them.
The world shut down,
And by the time I resurfaced,
My world had changed its shape beyond all recognition.
Now when I catch myself thinking in terms of forevers and alwayses,
I smile and shake my head.
In my forties,
I know,
We're all Lego people living in a Lego world.
Looks solid enough,
But any piece,
Every piece,
Can be taken apart easily.
Tuck,
Tuck,
Tuck.
And just as easily be put together into an entirely different form.
Click,
Click,
Click.
It's not that I don't believe in forever anymore.
It's just,
My definition of forever is different now.
My best friend at sixteen will always be my best friend at sixteen.
My posse at twenty-seven will always be my posse at twenty-seven.
My conscious business at thirty-five will.
.
.
You get the idea.
Forever is a series of moments,
Bubbles of joy,
Slices of life.
Forever is a state of transformation.
I don't hold tight anymore.
I let the ripples flow out and await the changes with curiosity.
