Conscious Living Collective - On Overthinking

This is a recording of a live session. During this session, we discuss overthinking. We give an explanation of why overthinking is so common and provide a few techniques to deal with it. Show up as you are, ready to explore, ask questions and connect with like-minded people. Weekly sessions include Q&A and Guided Meditation.

Transcript

Hello,

And welcome to my Conscious Living Collective.

Hello everyone,

My name is Tomik,

And I'm glad to see you here once again for session 3 of our gathering.

So I want to always,

At the beginning of the session,

I want to invite you to settle down,

Make yourself feel comfortable,

Introduce yourself,

Where you're coming from,

And perhaps if this is your first time,

Then raise your hand and tell us about it.

Today's topic is overthinking,

And I think it's a very important,

Certainly for me,

Topic that is worthwhile.

I brought one of our members from the circle,

Deb,

If I remember.

Hello Deb.

Hello from Vermont.

My name is Aaron,

Amy,

V,

Judy,

Nola,

Laurie,

Karen,

And now the Sharon from Ottawa,

Amy,

Nikki.

Oh,

Beautiful.

Nikki is here first time from Atlanta,

But have listened to my audios.

As you can see,

For those of you who attend those events or my life events regularly,

There's a bit of change of setting.

I decided to make a meeting of our Conscious Living Collective a bit less formal and leave more room for questions and answers and comments,

So we can all feel included.

It goes without saying that most of the talking is done by me,

But at least I want to include you in the comments section,

So always feel free to send even a simple hello.

This is very important.

Ultimately it is a Conscious Living Collective.

It's not just me,

So good to see you all.

Hello Jean.

Oh,

Hello Caroline.

Beautiful pillar from Colombia.

And hello Diane.

So good to see you all.

So as I said at the beginning,

The topic of today's Conscious Living Collective meeting is overthinking.

And for those of you who are joining for the first time,

I started this idea of Conscious Living Collective because I think that's what many of us are looking for,

Including me,

A some sort of tribe collective,

Where we can feel at home,

Where we can connect with people.

As far as I understand,

This is maybe not an ideal situation because we can't see each other.

You can only see me.

But if an example of our patron in a circle can serve here,

Those small meetings may lead to the big ones.

And for those of you who are aware of my patron program,

That's where we meet every week and we see each other on Zoom.

And some of us actually met in real life as well for the first time,

Which was absolutely wonderful.

So friendships are being created.

And that's what Conscious Collective is about.

It's about making connections.

It's about connecting with like-minded people and feeling at home with yourself,

With your thoughts,

With your personal growth and all the things that come to you,

To your mind.

Beautiful.

Hello Sherry from California.

Welcome here.

Sherry also says she's here for the first time.

So right now,

Since I intend these meetings as a conversation,

I want to ask you,

What is the topic of your daily overthinking,

If you will?

What are your thoughts going to when your mind is idle?

What is your challenge when it comes to overthinking?

I'm going to turn into a comment section.

Caroline,

Thank you so much for your kind support.

By the way,

I want to use this opportunity and thank Inside Timer for this opportunity in creating a platform on which we can all meet.

I know it's a huge endeavor and they make incredible effort of maintaining and making this place better for us to meet and to catch up.

Deb says,

I overthink everything.

Deb,

Welcome to the club.

I feel the same.

Overthinking is one of those things.

I was explaining why.

Why is this happening?

Amy says my body weight and fitness and health.

Another point that is very,

Very common.

So Amy,

You are not the only one.

I think we live in times where body image is overemphasized.

I've got a feeling that everything that we see on social media,

On TV,

Watching movies creates very unhealthy body image,

Unrealistic body image.

And that's where the problem starts.

So thank you very much for sharing that.

Avelina also says she overthink everything.

Roxana says fear of rejection.

Fear of rejection is one of the greatest fears there is because it comes from the survival instinct.

So thank you,

Roxana,

For sharing that.

And the reason behind,

One of the reasons behind Conscious Living Collective is to feel included and have sense of belonging where you can share without a fear of rejection all those things because I believe that we are all equals when it comes to sharing those challenges and facing them together.

It's usually very beneficial.

Both Laurie and Karen says health issues.

So what are the health issues?

Is it something that you can deal with or is it something that is completely out of your control?

I'll be curious to know.

Amy also says what about my four older sisters?

Worrying about your close ones,

It's certainly something that we do a lot.

And always my question is we should worry about the close ones.

However,

Think to yourself how much does it help them to worry about them?

To what end?

What's the why behind worrying about them?

Acknowledging that you worry about them and you care,

It's indication that you care for them.

But if you worry about them more than say five or ten times per hour,

What is the purpose?

Perhaps you should give them a call,

I don't know,

Just a thought that came to my mind.

Dave says way too much time thinking about work.

Another epitome of overworking,

Working hard,

Focusing your life on work and maintaining life-work balance.

So thank you very much for sharing that Dave.

This is certainly something that many people deal with.

We come back from work and instead of being able to relax,

We ruminate upon what happened at work or the challenges that we face at work and as if the work continues.

And I'll be talking in a second about the power of the present moment and how present moment can actually help us to be an antidote for overthinking.

But that's in a second.

Thank you for sharing Dave.

Caroline,

I always think all my commitments then wonder which I can uncommit to and realize they are all equally important to make me the involved person I am.

Thank you for sharing Caroline.

It is indeed,

There is in me and certainly I'm not saying that's you Caroline,

But I am a people pleaser and have to recognize very much when that happens in my life and ask myself the big why.

Why am I people pleaser towards end?

What do I try to achieve with it?

And every time I try to do something for someone,

I ask myself what place does it come from?

I think that helps me to clarify my intention and intention as we know is important behind every action.

And if that intention is unclear or comes from again that small self,

So to speak,

Usually that's where one or the other side will suffer.

Sometimes it's us or we try to please everyone as I do.

If I don't ask myself the question,

I just jump into offering advice for instance.

Even though I have good intention,

Sometimes listening,

Holding the space is far more important.

Science is the current state of world divided,

Knowing the one thing I have the power but letting it get to me nonetheless.

Sharon,

I think we're on the same page with this one.

Seeing what's happening around us,

It's very difficult to let go.

This is certainly one of the things that is out of our control.

And we cannot simply say that the state of world around us,

It's okay.

We know the struggle with that our world environment is unfortunately in big trouble.

We know that our economy during the pandemic and it's in shambles.

And we try to pretend as if nothing happens but the truth is that the opposite is happening,

That we are uncertain,

We are worried,

We are part of this big thing that is happening right now,

The big pandemic of not only of COVID-19 but also fear and uncertainty.

Nieke says fear of nerve issues and what it will be waiting for months at the same time for hip surgery,

Worrying about every single family member having problems.

So just give you an example of so many different things.

But it seems like a common theme is health,

Personal health and health of our close ones.

Worry about our close family and friends and worry about the situation around the world.

And this is something I want to talk to you about because these common problems as you can see it's not something that you personally experience but these are the challenges that we experience collectively and they do contribute in a huge way to our overthinking and the fact that our brain and our mind works overtime trying to figure things out.

However I want to ask yourself,

I want to ask you and you ask yourself,

Do you really have control over all those things that you worry about?

And if you do by all means I will invite you to take actions,

Mindful actions.

But the truth is that many of those problems and challenges are completely out of our control.

However what we are equipped with is an evolutionarily developed machine for overthinking which is our brain.

For those of you who like Deb and myself overthink everything,

I invite you to stop for a moment and consider this,

That your brain is a highly developed and sophisticated machine designed for overthinking.

You've got part of your brain that we call a default network or default neural network that is designed specifically to ruminate upon situations that happened in the past.

And I don't think it's nothing,

There's anything wrong with thinking about the past situations and anticipating futures.

However when that happens as a compulsive behavior,

That's we run a chance of what I called losing ourselves.

And what it means?

It means that we are no longer are ourselves.

We are completely and utterly identified with our thoughts and thinking process and we become our health issues,

We become our environment or disaster environment when we watch TV,

We become the politics that is so corrupted and negative and fearful,

We become all those things because unfortunately or fortunately,

It depends on how you look at it,

Thinking that we do or we connect with creates our reality.

And that's what I find within myself on a moment-to-moment basis.

Even now when I allow just the talk comes out of me,

Sometimes I've realized what is the purpose of it?

Am I serving you with the conversation I'm facilitating?

And that's the time for me to stop,

To hit the break or start a mindful pause and tune in and ask myself why am I doing it?

Am I still aligned with the purpose of our gathering?

Am I serving my conscious living collective in a good way?

And this is the important thing to recognize that idle thinking or compulsive thinking takes us away from ourselves,

But the thinking,

Creative thinking that we connect with through present moment is something that helps us to be more ourselves.

René Descartes,

Famous 17th century philosopher,

Created or came up with this very famous saying that in Latin goes,

Cogito Ergo Sum,

Or in English,

Think,

Therefore I am.

And I believe this saying become an acorn for so much modern thinking and modern trends in philosophy.

However,

If you think about it,

The opposite has been true for quite some time for our civilization.

We live in times where overthinking creates more thinking,

Creates more trouble,

Then it brings benefits.

We spend most of our time in our heads feeling anxious,

Feeling fearful,

Worrying,

Without recognizing that we're feeding this part of the brain that is waiting to be satisfied but never can be satisfied.

We're feeding that default mode network that again was evolved to serve us as a way of thinking about the past in a constructive way,

Helping us to deal with some challenges.

But unfortunately,

In this era of overstimulation,

When our brain receives constantly stream of information,

The opposite happens.

We feel overwhelmed,

We feel anxious,

We feel fearful.

So today I invite you to look at the times when you find yourself overthinking and ask yourself a simple question,

Who have decided to think about the thinking that you're doing right now?

It's called metacognition,

Thinking about thinking.

Ask yourself,

Have you chosen to think about that worry?

Have you chosen to be concerned with uncertainty?

Have you chosen to think about your close ones,

Worrying about them?

And if that's the case,

That's fantastic because thinking about thinking brings us to the present moment.

We use our creative power in a way that is constructive rather than destructive.

On the contrary,

If you find yourself,

However,

Thinking about something just because your mind wandered there,

Perhaps a question why would serve its purpose and bring you back to the present moment.

And if that kind of thinking or connect with those thoughts that you are thinking right now no longer serves your purpose,

Perhaps it's time to come back to yourself.

Come back to yourself.

Come back home to who you really are.

And certainly you are not your thoughts,

You are not your emotions.

I have a couple of comments here.

Mr.

B,

What's your opinion on folks who are inventors and constantly think?

Do you think they have periods of empty?

That's a great question.

What do you think?

Do the inventors direct the thinking randomly?

Are they letting themselves to ruminate about the worries about what happened yesterday?

Or do they spend a lot of time sharpening their minds and directing it in a very specific way,

In a very specific direction?

And maybe they also have these times when they work on idle and they need a break from that very focused direct thinking.

But as a scientist I can tell you when I think about something specific my mind works very differently to us compare to the times when I just let it be.

And then I often catch myself being in those plays of worry and concern and state of the world,

The state of the pandemic,

What's the recent number,

What other people are doing,

Vaccinated,

Unvaccinated,

Worry,

Anxiety,

All those things.

I almost can't recite them because they are always so close to the surface.

But I know for a fact that if I allow myself to complain about it,

To think about it,

To ruminate about it,

I very often feel anxious,

Depressed,

Fearful,

As opposed to how I want to feel.

I want to feel at peace,

Satisfied and fulfilled.

Aren't you?

Guys,

I can see the conversation going on and I really apologize,

I cannot follow up on every single comment.

It is quite impossible with so many of you here.

But I want you to know that I really appreciate every single comment and your presence here.

So when I was preparing to this talk and our conversation and the session of Conscious Living Collective,

I remembered this joke about old fish and new fish.

And the joke goes like that,

That a few new fish swim down the stream and they see an old fish and they come and they say hello,

Being very polite,

And the old fish asks,

How is water today?

The baffled new fish,

They answer,

What is water?

And I think this is an old joke or parable on how we all feel sometimes with overthinking and certainly how I feel.

I simply do not recognize that I'm overthinking and that's the biggest part of the problem,

That I have highly sophisticated and developed part of my brain that does the overthinking for me.

And every time I leave it alone,

It goes without a miss back to ruminating,

To worrying,

Creating that fearful inner environment when I don't feel fully myself.

But there is a reason why we are here on Inside Timer,

A platform that supports meditation as a tool of daily well-being.

And meditation can be used as a tool,

And certainly that's how I use it,

To focus my mind,

To bring myself to present moment,

To recognize that I am not my thoughts,

I am not my emotions.

And this obviously,

Every meditation,

Every practice requires a lot of discipline.

And today I will encourage you to think about your meditation practice as a form of mental discipline and a way to maintain a positive mental hygiene.

So when you sit your meditation,

Whatever that is,

Guided and unguided,

Ask yourself a question,

How does it help you to be a better self?

And when I say better self,

I'm not saying someone who does things better or worse,

But someone who is more connected with the true nature,

Benevolent nature of ourselves.

Someone that can direct thinking in the way that is beneficial to you and to people around you rather than going constantly in autopilot,

Ruminating and ultimately becoming anxious,

Fearful.

How does it sound?

So my first meditation of the day,

First thing that I do,

First thing after I get up,

It's always devoted to bringing my mind to this state of presence.

And one of the most powerful meditation techniques that I found to help us with rumination is transcendental meditation or meditation using mantra.

For those of you who attended my events in the past,

You know that I have entire series on working with the mind and give you tools how to bring your mind to the present moment,

Present moment being the only time when we can and are truly ourselves,

Which is the whole point of this whole exercise.

And during that time,

Obviously,

When we practice,

When we develop a discipline,

Disciplining our mind,

You will find that,

And I find very often,

That your mind is all over the place.

It goes from thought of the past to anticipation of the future and just bounces between those two walls so very often.

But at the same time,

I developed over years and years meditation this quality where I'm no longer bothered by those thoughts.

I simply recognize them for what they are,

A quality of my highly sophisticated and evolved brain,

And I bring myself back to the present moment.

And I treat this as a game that became much,

Much,

Much more fun over time.

And if I'm patient enough and spend enough time practicing that mantra meditation,

I find that my mind eventually settles,

That we are able to come to terms with the wandering mind and overthinking.

It doesn't happen overnight,

Over one or two sessions,

But certainly it's something that meditation promises as a fruit of a faithful and disciplined practice.

On the contrary,

If you choose not to practice,

Well,

We can't be surprised that our mind will stay with the default mode network,

Ruminating,

Worrying,

Being fearful,

Love,

This and that.

There's no surprise there.

Mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master,

All the saying goes.

And today during this session I invite you to meditate with me and look at your mind as a servant that can be really of use if we only spend enough time putting structure to it and using mantra for that reason.

Okay,

Before we start our meditation,

Do you guys have any other questions?

Maybe I'm going to quickly run through some comments.

If I missed something.

Beautiful.

Okay.

So before I start meditation,

A couple of housekeeping things.

First of all,

If you wish to ask me questions or join the conversation,

I have a circle now it's called a group called Tomic Circle in which you can join and connect with all the regulars.

And I promise you'll be very,

Very welcome there if you join.

For those of you who must leave early or missed part of the session,

You can go to my YouTube channel and that's where I post most of the live sessions where you can listen to it or rewatch them there.

Last but not least,

You can go and subscribe.

Go to my profile and hit subscribe button with turning on your notifications with every new update of the app it happens that the subscriptions and notifications disappear.

So even though I have almost over 50,

000 followers,

There are very few of you that actually received those notifications.

And this is one of the common complaints for so many of you that you simply don't get those notifications about new events.

But if you wish to receive them,

You have to click that bell button under the subscription or under the follow button on my profile.

Another way of connecting with me is via my website where all my details are and you can send me a private message or even sign up for a mentoring program,

Which I'm running now with quite a few of clients.

And this has been actually very much fun.

The mentoring program is designed to work one on one with you on the topics and challenges that you are currently facing,

Whether it is your health,

Whether it's your physical and mental routine,

Whether it's your meditation practice,

Obviously,

That's one of the obvious examples of it.

But I already worked with quite a few clients with such diverse challenges that is very difficult to describe things that I worked with rather than things I didn't work with.

It's a very interesting process during which I engage with you one on one.

It's very personal,

Very intimate setting where we can together sit and ponder upon the challenges that both of us are current for.

So yeah,

This is also a possibility.

All right.

Deb says,

I shared a story in the circle about listening to one of your meditations about boats coming into our view,

But you said that the boats came from the right rather than the left.

I spent the rest of the meditation wondering if it made a difference which side the boats came from.

Yeah,

That's a classic,

Classic case of overthinking.

My brain loves the details.

And very frequently,

I focus on those minuscule details that ultimately,

Ultimately,

They make no difference.

Thank you very much for sharing that.

Sue has just joined us.

Welcome Sue.

Good to see you here.

Okay,

So let us jump into meditation.

And to summarize our session,

We're talking today about overthinking and how very often overthinking takes us away from being our true self.

Because overthinking comes from that evolved or very primitive part of our brain that is designed to overthink the situations and usually these are worries and fears and situations that no longer serve our purpose.

But today,

I'd like to share with you a practice that will bring you back to yourself and to the present moment.

And for that purpose,

We will use transcendental meditation or mantra meditation.

Transcendental because we try to transcend the compulsory,

Ordinary thinking and settle somewhere in between where there's a more peace and more clarity to our mind.

So let's begin.

Okay.

So as with every meditation,

I'd like to begin this one with making yourself at ease and comfortable sitting away that will allow your physical body to settle down.

I always invite my listeners to sit upright with your back straight but not rigid,

Simply to allow unrestricted flow of your breath.

And before you close your eyes,

Recognize if there's any obvious tension or discomfort that you may adjust.

You may adjust your posture to mitigate that discomfort or that tension.

That's right.

Now allow your eyes to close and start by recognizing the way you are.

Whether you feel at ease,

Peaceful,

Tune into that state.

If you feel anxious,

Stressed,

That's absolutely fine too.

As a conscious living collective,

We meet ourselves exactly the way we are.

Recognizing the current state of affairs without trying to impose a certain state,

Without trying to pretend that we are in this very moment some other person.

We are embracing truly who we are with all our challenges but also all our talents.

Recognizing that we are equipped with a very beautiful,

Beautiful,

Powerful mind that can be indeed directed in a way that is very beneficial to us and to everyone around us.

And as I said before,

We will be practicing today mantra meditation.

Mantra meditation is a very simple,

Not necessarily easy,

But simple practice where you repeat one word focusing your mind on one simple one or two syllable word.

And for those of you who don't already have mantra in your mind,

I invite you to use simple word yes.

So you will be repeating word yes in your mind and you'll be repeating it softly,

Gently,

In a way that would support that relaxed state of mind and relax and support your intention.

And intention behind this practice is to focus your mind,

To discipline your mind to the extent,

Take your mind away from the compulsive thinking.

So every time your mind wanders,

You keep coming back to the mantra repeating yes,

Yes.

That's by the way how it sounds in my mind.

The intention encapsulated in the mantra.

Yes.

Yes.

More and softer with each repetition.

Setting the rhythm,

Quieting your mind with each repetition.

Yes.

Yes.

And within a few repetitions,

Your mind will wander,

Will find another object.

And that's okay because we already have the tool of our mind to refocus it and return to gently repeating yes.

Yes.

And with each repetition,

You also relax also slightly knowing that you have a safe path,

Safe way home when you can return to yourself simply by repeating by saying yes.

Yes.

Maitreya being a tool for your mind brings you back.

That's the purpose of this tool to bring you back to the now,

To the present moment.

And know that I'm here by your side to guide you to hold the space for this practice,

For creating this discipline.

And so there are so many of us gathered supporting each other in the spirit of Conscious Living Collective.

Focusing together is always such a joy.

Feeling supported,

Knowing that you face that overthinking as a collective,

Not only as an individual.

And the evidence of that collective is floating in the bottom of my screen right now with all of the icons representing you somewhere around the world,

Sitting together with me.

And that makes me feel included.

That makes me feel that all this effort is worthwhile.

And I am being supported by the collective energy of all of you.

And you also are being supported by the collective energy of all of us here.

And that gives you courage and persistence to keep coming back to the present moment by repeating your mantra.

Yes.

Yes.

In your mind's eye,

Softer with each repetition.

It might happen that at some point of the repetition,

You are so at ease with your mind that the mantra drops off and you can experience the moments of clarity and stillness.

And you may enjoy those feeling that you are with yourself and more yourself.

Wonderful.

So now to conclude this meditation,

Create a mental note to the point,

Connected with the point of stillness that you may have achieved at some point of this meditation,

Even though it was very brief.

I did not expect that many of us during this short meditation achieved a very deep level of stillness.

So maybe I am wrong,

Maybe I am wrong.

I hope I am wrong.

But if not,

This is absolutely fine.

Discipline has been created over hours and hours of practice with intention of bringing yourself back to the present moment.

And even within this brief period,

You already created much peace that sometimes is not actually perceived on the conscious level,

Created much inner peace.

I invite you to be grateful for that and express your gratitude for those moments that we spend together practicing mantra meditation.

When this part is over,

Begin reconnecting with your physical senses,

Embodying the experience,

The space around you,

Filling the boundaries of your physical body,

Feet on the floor,

Hands in your lap,

Coming back to physical sensations of your body.

And to conclude,

Take one deep cleansing breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

And when you're ready,

Open your eyes and we'll come back.

Wonderful.

Thank you so much for this short period of meditation.

I really appreciate your presence and your support on this one.

Tell me maybe in one word,

How did it feel?

How did it feel to practice mantra meditation with all of us here?

Thank you,

Karen.

Karen says wonderful session.

Amy sends peace.

Thank you,

Deb.

I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it.

Caroline says feeling focused and positive,

Able to concentrate fully in the present moment,

Which feels so good in the company of this great collective like-minded people.

Karen feels peaceful,

Pillar focus,

Beautiful.

Miikka,

Thank you,

Tom,

I feel more settled,

Beautiful.

Mandy,

Thank you kindly.

Sue feels supported.

It felt good for Jane.

Susan come.

Diane it felt good to let go.

Amy come.

Leslie said appreciate sense of connection.

So out of one simple meditation,

There are so many positives that are apparent within this group.

And for those of you like myself have the overthinking mind and struggle with mind wandering,

Mantra meditation is a wonderful tool to achieve quickly and effectively stillness.

So if this is the case,

20 minutes,

Twice a day,

That's usually a simple recipe.

Unless you are very busy,

Then you have to meditate for an hour.

That's obviously a joke by late Thich Nhat Hanh,

Who always support it and encourage us to practice meditation,

Particularly loving kindness.

Jenny says I'm smiling because we are mostly women here.

I hope this is not the case.

I believe we have responded to a couple of comments from at least one comment from a man,

But it doesn't matter that much.

Heather feels personal release and feels supported.

I'm glad that so many of you mentioned that you feel supported in this group because this really is the big aim of this Conscious Living Collective,

To come to a place where you feel supported,

You can express your opinion,

Make a comment and feel that,

Oh yes,

There are so many others feeling this way.

So this is really encouraging for our third session of Conscious Living Collective.

And by the way,

For those of you who enjoyed our sessions,

We are meeting weekly,

The same time,

The same place every week.

So next session,

Noon Sydney time,

Or evening or late evening or early evening depends where you are in the US.

So that's the session for next week.

Okay,

So once again,

For those of you who missed the session,

I will post it on my YouTube channel and hopefully soon as well here on Inside Timer,

The audio version of it,

So you can listen to it at your own convenience.

But for now,

I want to thank you for your presence and your generous support during this session.

I really look forward to our next session and creating,

Making this Conscious Collective beneficial even more.

Once again,

I will choose a topic for our next gathering,

A topic that is relevant to your health and to your physical and mental health.

And we will discuss it next time.

So please subscribe already after finishing the session,

Click the attend button,

And you will receive a notification before the event starts next week.

But for now,

I want to once again thank you for your presence,

For meditating with me,

And for your generous support.

Okay,

And until next time,

I look forward to connecting with you then.

Bye bye.

Reviews

Wonderful talk and practice. Helped me provide a supportive place for my mind to release the extra thinking and rest for a while. The suggestions and comments about overthinking are, ironically, thought-provoking and will be immensely as circumstances allow. Thank you for sharing this talk and session with us here on the Insight Timer platform. I see you and the light within you. Be well. 🤲🏻❤🤲🏻

Excellent meditation practice thank you for this message. Namaste my friend 🙏

thanks tomek but as my grandfather used to say ‘no peace for the wicked’.