Ideal Parent Figure Practice

This guided imagery exercise is designed to help people heal from childhood wounds by imagining themselves as children with ideal parents. It can assist with increasing self-compassion, cultivating emotional healing, building resilience, and transforming limiting beliefs.

Music: Shrine by Tranquilium

Transcript

The purpose of this guided imagery exercise is to assist in the process of repairing childhood wounds,

Particularly those having to do with your caregivers.

If you feel comfortable doing so,

Allow your eyes to close now.

But if at any point this experience becomes too activating or overwhelming for you,

You can open your eyes and reorient yourself to the room,

Focusing on your breath and reminding yourself that in this moment,

You are safe.

Let's start by bringing awareness to your body.

Notice how the surface you are sitting on is supporting you.

See if you can let go of any muscles that are still working and allow the surface to fully support you,

Really yielding into the support that is beneath you.

Bring awareness to all the contact points of the surface and your body,

Really allowing yourself to show up in your body right here,

Right now,

Becoming more relaxed.

Now,

Become aware of your breathing,

Just noticing the quality.

Is it short and shallow?

Or is it long and deep?

Now,

We'll just take a few rounds of deep inhales and exhales,

Allowing your system to settle into a deeper,

Even more relaxed state.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Now,

Imagine yourself as a young child.

And in the scene,

Imagine that you grew up in a family different from your family of origin.

Choose a set of parents ideally suited to you and your nature and bring to mind the scene of them being with you in a way that you would feel absolutely secure in the attachment of the relationship.

Just absolutely secure in the attachment of that relationship.

Since imagination creates new possibilities,

You can shape and reshape the scene in any way you want until it feels just right.

I'm going to use the word scene,

And you might envision very specific details,

But you might just see shapes or colors or simply feel a presence or more than one presence.

Whatever your experience,

Just allow yourself to relax into it,

Into this experience of being with these ideal parents who know how to be with you in a way that makes you feel absolutely secure in the attachment of the relationship.

Notice the particular ways that these ideal parents are being with you that lead you to feel so completely secure with them,

Just being in their presence.

Let the scene fade now and bring to mind a second scene with these ideal parents of them being with you in a way that makes you feel completely safe and protected.

These parents know how to provide you with a safe haven.

They are fiercely protective,

But not overprotective.

Imagine specifically the ways of them being with you that would give you the sense of being completely safe and protected as a child.

And when you imagine the details of this scene,

Notice the ways they're being with you that lead you to feel so safe and protected.

And notice the effect that this has on your state of mind.

Now let that scene fade and imagine another scene of yourself with these ideal parents.

Imagine them being so carefully attuned to you.

These parents are completely present.

You know,

As you imagine it,

That they are really interested in everything you do.

They're interested in every change in your behavior.

You can sense the ways that they track all the developmental changes that you go through as a young child.

They're so carefully attuned to you and interested in all of these changes.

But as you imagine this scene,

What's most important is that you imagine it in such a way that they are not simply attuned to your behavior,

But to your internal state.

These parents are constantly wondering out loud about what you feel and what motivates your behavior.

They're interested in what you think about and how you put together your world so that you feel deeply seen and known by them.

Imagine parents who are that carefully attuned to your internal state,

Not just your behavior.

And notice the effect this has on your state of mind.

Let that scene fade and now imagine a time as a young child when you were emotionally upset about something.

Only this time,

You imagine you grew up in a family different from your family of origin with these ideal parents.

They see right away how upset you are and imagine that they respond to you in just the way that you most need.

Notice how they approach you,

The physical closeness they offer to you in comfort and in verbal reassurance.

Imagine them comforting you in all the right ways and notice the effect that that has on your state of mind.

Now,

Let that scene fade and imagine another scene with these ideal parents as a young child.

Imagine them being with you in a way that they are absolutely open and expressive about their delight in everything you do.

These ideal parents are not subtle.

They're consistent and open about their joy in everything that you discover and explore.

But more importantly,

These ideal parents are openly expressive about their joy in your being.

You know that you are a deep source of joy and that everything you do in life gives them great pleasure.

You can feel it when you are around them.

Notice the effect this has on your state of mind.

Having parents that are that open and expressive and are delighted in every single thing you do.

More importantly,

They delight in your very being.

You are the deepest source of joy and satisfaction to them.

In so many ways,

You can feel it.

Notice the effect that this has on your state of mind and on your esteem.

Let the scene fade now and imagine another scene with your ideal parents in a time when you are exploring and discovering something new and you have their absolute complete support.

These parents are openly supportive to you,

Encouraging you to explore and discover in different ways.

They want you to bring out your best and strongest sense of self.

They are not threatened by that.

They have no agendas for you.

They just want you to discover all that you can be and to have your strongest and best sense of self.

Imagine this scene in which you are exploring something new with their complete and absolute support,

Bringing out the best and strongest sense of self that you can have and notice the effect that this has on your state of mind.

Imagine what it might have been like,

What your sense of self might have been like,

Had you grown up receiving that kind of support with every step of development,

Your best,

Strongest and most unique sense of self.

Finally,

There is something that you needed as a child when you were growing up that you never quite got.

Bring that feeling to mind now,

That very familiar feeling to you.

There's something you needed over and over again,

And you never quite got it.

And there is a very familiar feeling you had about that.

Bring that feeling to mind.

You can let yourself feel it right now.

And imagine the ideal parents stepping into the scene.

And they see right away what you're feeling.

And they respond to you in just the way that you need most.

Just the right way.

Begin that process of healing.

As you let that scene fade,

Notice the effect that that had on your state of mind.

You can now begin to reorient yourself to the room.

Begin to notice the natural rhythm of your breathing.

As the unconscious mind allows the conscious mind to become more aware of sounds.

Sounds in the room,

The sound of my voice,

The sensations in an arm,

A leg,

The variety of thoughts and feelings.

As the conscious mind drifts up and conscious wakefulness and awareness returns quite completely now.

Up to the surface of wakeful awareness,

Restfully refreshed,

Comfortably awake,

Even as the mind drifts up completely and the eyes are allowed to open now.

That's right,

Eyes open and wakeful awareness completely returns now.

You may return to this recording anytime you'd like to revisit the experience of being with your ideal parents and to help reinforce the healing effects of this guided imagery practice.

Reviews

I liked the tone of your voice, its was very soothing, thank you🙏.

My first IPF meditation -- your soothing voice and words helped me go smoothly through the experience. I started crying by the end of the meditation, and released some of those feelings. Thank you for this meditation