IFS Meditation: Getting Curious About Your Conflicted Parts

In this episode, Tim Fortescue guides listeners through understanding and navigating inner conflicts using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing conflicting parts within ourselves, fostering compassion, and engaging with these parts to achieve clarity and healing. The conversation highlights the supportive community aspect of IFS and encourages listeners to embrace their journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Transcript

Today I'm going to lead you in a meditation to help you check in with your parts that may be in conflict with one another. So as we begin, Take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Just allow yourself to slowly settle in and set aside any distractions for just a moment, Giving yourself the gift of presence if you can. Feel the rise and fall of your chest. Allow your breath to guide you into a place of calm and curiosity, If that works. Begin to scan slowly from the top of your head to your feet. Notice if there are any areas of tension, Heaviness, Or any other sensation. Simply observe without judgment. Be aware of those parts that may have some judgment. Let them know that they're welcome to. Then when it feels right, Take a moment to reflect on an area of your life where you feel torn or conflicted. Invite the parts of you involved in this conflict to step forward. In the part that has stepped forward, Check in and see where you're noticing it in or around your body. Maybe it's a sensation. Maybe it's just a visual of this part standing on one side of you. As you sense into this part, Check in and see how it's doing with having some attention or if there may be something it wants to share. As you notice this part, How do you feel toward it? If it's more constricted rather than open, It's likely another part. Maybe even the part on the other side of the conflict. Just see if you're noticing another part. See if that part could soften back and give us some space knowing that it can have time in the future too. Or if it's on the other side of this conflict, We're going to give it some attention in this meditation. We get to know our parts better one at a time. Let your whole system know we're not going deep here. There's no agenda. Our only intention is to stay curious. Then turn your attention back to the part that came forward first. It's on one side of this conflict. Check in and see how you're noticing it again in or around your body. See if you can extend it just a drop of curiosity. Maybe a little compassion. It doesn't take much. If you have a lot of compassion or curiosity, Send that to this part and see if it can take it in. From that place, Just ask the part a few questions. What do you want me to know about this conflict? Or maybe what are you afraid might happen if things don't go your way? And simply let the part express itself. As this part shares, You may hear other parts try to jump in because they want to be understood too. Let them know they can have a chance at another time. If they're responding to this conflict and the way this first part is responding, Let them know we're about to check in with them. See if they could just give a little space. See what else this part that you're focusing on first may want you to know. Remember, Our parts are often younger. It may be helpful to let this part know who you are today. Know too that you can pause this recording as long as you need to if you need more time. Just spend just a bit responding to this first part. Let this part know that you get it. If you do, Or if you have questions, Just ask. Then when it feels right, Let this part know that we're going to check in with the other side for just a few minutes. Then turn your attention to the other side of the conflict and the part that may see things a little differently on the other side. Check in and see how you know this part is present in or around your body. Check in and see how you're feeling toward it. Just like with the other side, If it's the opposite of openness or calmness or curiosity, Likely another part jumping in. Just see if that part could soften back and give some space, Knowing that it can have some attention at another time too. We get to know our parts better one at a time and just reiterate that to the part and your whole system. Then turn your attention back to the part on the other side of this conflict. See if you can extend it just a drop of curiosity or compassion, Maybe more. How's it doing with the attention? Remind it that we just want to get to know it better. It's going to take time. It can share whatever it wants. Then ask it a couple questions. What do you want me to know about this conflict? What are you afraid might happen if things don't go your way? Then just spend a bit just allowing this part to share as much or as little as it wants. Spend some time responding and let it know who you are today and that it's not alone. See if there's anything else that this part wants to share. Let it know that this can be one conversation of many. You'd like to spend more time with it if it would like that. Maybe let it know when and thank this part for its courage for coming forward. Turn your attention back to the part on the other side of the conflict. Often our parts will begin to see that they're more alike than different often. They bring different gifts that we need. Send some gratitude to the part on the other side. Then before we wrap up with both of these parts on either side of the conflict and with other parts that may be witnessing, Just let them know that you see them. Then turn back to the two parts that are in conflict. Maybe they're in less conflict now. Imagine yourself as the calm center in this conversation. See how your parts are responding to that idea. If they have questions or if they're distrustful, Make sense. Just see if they could imagine with you if it works better for them to do that. And with you in the center of these two parts, Ask them how can we work together to meet everyone's needs? Is there a way you might collaborate or take turns? What do you need to trust me to mediate and to lead more from who I am today in all of my wholeness and my belovedness? Simply holding space for these parts to be heard is a powerful step. Then when it feels complete for now, Thank your parts again for their willingness to connect with you and acknowledge those parts that have been looking on again. They belong too. Not trying to put anyone out of a job that they've likely been doing many many years, But just want to make the job easier for them. And that's possible. Then take a deep breath in. As you exhale, Imagine releasing any tension or heaviness. You can open your eyes if they were closed. Thank you for your courage and taking time to connect with your inner world here and allowing me to facilitate and guide the meditation. Know that you can return to this meditation whenever you need support. Thank you. Take care.