Today,
I'm gonna focus on recognizing what triggers emotional reactions in us and how we can approach these triggers with curiosity rather than judgment.
So let's get started.
Understanding our triggers is a crucial step towards emotional healing and self-awareness.
Triggers are those situations,
People,
Or events that elicit strong emotional reactions in us.
By recognizing these triggers and the parts of us they activate,
We can start to respond to our emotions with greater awareness and compassion.
Let's begin by reflecting on recent experiences where you felt a strong emotional reaction.
And I encourage you to pause the podcast each time I give you some time to reflect.
If you need it.
Think about specific situations or people that prompted these feelings.
What was it about these moments that triggered such a response in you?
Take just a bit to identify and reflect on these triggers.
And once you've identified some triggers,
The next step is to consider which parts of you react strongly in these moments.
Are there patterns of familiar feelings that arise such as anger,
Fear,
Or sadness?
These parts of us often hold on to past experiences and respond to present situations based on those memories.
In IFS,
We approach these reactive parts with curiosity rather than judgment.
Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling a certain way,
Try to understand what these parts might be trying to tell you.
What are their concerns,
Fears,
Or desires?
How can you listen and understand their perspective without criticism?
It may be helpful to pause for a bit and consider that.
And now let's explore a few practical ways to approach your triggers with curiosity.
Mindful awareness may be helpful to start by noticing when you feel triggered and pay attention to the physical sensations in your body,
Maybe the flood of shame or anger,
The thoughts racing through your mind,
And the emotions bubbling up.
This awareness is the first step in understanding your triggers.
And then after you're aware,
Pause and reflect.
When you notice a trigger,
Take a moment to pause.
Instead of reacting immediately,
Give yourself the space to reflect on what's happening.
Ask yourself,
What am I feeling right now?
What part of me is reacting?
And sometimes we react before we even know it,
And it may be helpful to reflect on this afterwards.
Then ask questions.
Approach your reactive parts with curiosity.
Ask them questions like,
What are you trying to protect me from?
Or,
What do you need from me right now?
Listen to their responses without judgment.
And then finally,
Offer compassion.
Show compassion towards these parts.
Acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you understand their perspective.
Thank them for their efforts to protect you,
Even if their methods are intense.
Let me share a personal story.
And my hope is that this can illustrate a little more how understanding triggers can lead to greater self-awareness and compassion.
I have parts that can feel intensely angry when others criticize me,
Even constructive criticism.
But in my IFS work,
And it's still an ongoing daily journey that still takes a lot of work,
But incrementally I've found,
And my clients have found,
That this anger is a protective part of me,
Of them,
That was formed during childhood,
In my case,
When I felt constantly judged and criticized.
And it was helpful for this angry part to protect me when I was younger.
I didn't have many allies.
I was grateful for it then,
I'm grateful for it now,
But by approaching this angry part with curiosity,
I've learned that it was trying to protect me from feelings of inadequacy and rejection.
When I start to acknowledge and thank this part for its efforts,
While also reassuring it that I can handle criticism more constructively as an adult,
Over time,
The intense anger and feelings of hurt has lessened,
And although it can still show up and it's good for me to continue to be aware of it,
I'm able to respond to criticism from others with greater calmness and confidence.
You may be able to relate,
Probably you can,
And I hope this story is helpful of how recognizing and understanding our triggers can lead to profound changes in how we respond to our emotions.
By approaching our triggers with curiosity and compassion,
We can begin to build a more harmonious relationship with our internal system.
Before we wrap up today's episode,
Let's delve just a little deeper into some additional strategies and reflections that may be helpful in managing triggers,
And I encourage you to choose one of these and give it a shot this week and see how your system responds and if it's helpful.
The first one is journaling.
Keeping a trigger journal can be helpful,
And this means whenever you experience a strong emotional reaction,
Write down what happened,
How you felt,
And what thoughts came up.
Over time,
This can help you identify patterns and understand your triggers better.
Visualization.
Practice visualizing a calm response to your triggers.
Imagine a scenario where you're triggered,
But respond from a place of calm and compassion.
This mental rehearsal can prepare you for real-life situations and help you maybe not to be so reactive.
Grounding techniques.
Use grounding techniques when you feel triggered.
This could be as simple as focusing on your breath,
Feeling your feet on the ground,
Or holding a comforting object.
Grounding helps to bring you back to the present moment and reduces the intensity of your emotional reaction.
Affirmations.
Create affirmations that support your journey towards self-awareness and compassion.
For example,
You may have one that says I'm safe and capable of handling my emotions,
Or I approach my feelings with curiosity and kindness.
And then finally,
A support system.
Lean on your support system.
Share your experiences with trusted family,
Friends,
Or a therapist or a coach.
Talk about your triggers.
Talking about your triggers can provide new insights and reduce feelings of isolation.
And then let me give you some reflections for deeper understanding,
And that you may be able to take and spend some time reflecting on this week.
First,
Reflect on the origin.
Spend time reflecting on where your triggers might have originated.
Are there past experiences or relationships that have contributed to these strong reactions?
Because when we understand the root,
This can provide more context and help facilitate healing.
Inner dialogue.
Engage in an inner dialogue with your triggered parts.
Ask them about their earliest memories and what they need from you now.
This compassionate conversation can uncover valuable insights and foster healing.
And then finally,
Celebrate progress.
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress,
No matter how small.
Healing is a journey,
And each step forward is significant.
Recognize your efforts and be gentle with yourself.
During setbacks,
They're gonna happen.
Share yourself some grace.
I'll try to do that too.
This is good for me to hear.
Well,
I hope this episode is giving you some insight and practical tools to understand your triggers and respond with greater awareness and compassion.
The struggle is real.
Let's see if we can send some compassion to ourselves and all our parts.
