Sometimes we look at ourselves like it's a project and there's somewhere to get to.
Because understand the only reason we think we're a project that needs fixed is because we are judging ourselves and we're trying to find a version of ourselves that we don't judge anymore.
If only I did more of this and less of that I wouldn't have to judge myself.
So let me work on manipulating myself to be more like this and less like that.
Then I won't have to judge myself.
How about we just stop judging ourselves now?
No,
But I don't like myself.
Well,
See what you really are.
Because you see this,
Right?
Like as we're all here we all have our own human neuroses,
Right?
We have our own patterns,
We have our own behaviors.
But in the stillness of just being here we're adorable,
Right?
Just as human beings.
It's amazing to even be here,
To be alive.
Holy shit.
And if you remove all of the judgment what's left is just a beautiful creature.
Divinely inspired.
Having a human journey.
Having a dream where the reality of you is completely safe.
But I will tell you it does in a way indicate the ego is out of a job.
The ego really likes fixing the self.
And I'm not saying there's not a place in time to be aware of particular patterns that might in some way be destructive,
But again it's just awareness of it.
The harmony that we crave to be in harmony with something naturally occurs as you heal your perception with it.
Right?
Like look at it this way.
Your problematic behaviors and tendencies are an expression of how you see yourself,
Which is judging yourself.
Do you see this?
Like those behaviors and patterns are a result of judging yourself.
Thinking something's wrong with you.
Thinking you're broken.
And then what do we do?
We try and fix it with more judgment.
When if you heal the judgment,
Which is to forgive yourself essentially,
Which is to embrace the raw humanity,
Which is to just be human,
Then that will naturally begin to change behaviors,
But not on your time scale.
Right?
We're trying to race towards an image of ourselves that's perfect,
And we need it to happen next week.
But it might heal itself and then the healing expresses itself over a decade,
Just like in a relationship.
It can take time.
Which in one way,
It's like you can just forget about the fixing or getting to a particular place and just be gentle on yourself.
Be humble.
Be honest.
That literally has to change behavior.
It has to.
When I look at my partner,
It's so interesting because there's a voice inside of me that says,
My God,
You don't even realize how beautiful you are.
And I think,
Wow,
If only you saw how beautiful you are.
Already are.
Meaning it's an end to trying to be beautiful and everything that that comes with,
Which is concern of what other people think.
You know,
As I watch her experience,
It's so obvious that all of her dramas,
It all comes back to this fear of judgment.
Fear of what other people think,
Which is to say,
She already judges herself.
Which is to say,
Doesn't see how beautiful she is.
And it's the same for all of us.
It's the same for me.
Constantly judging myself.
Taking myself seriously.
And in one way,
It's extraordinarily adorable.
All right,
What am I going to do?
Take myself seriously that I take myself seriously?
What am I going to do?
Judge myself for judging myself?
And then you can judge yourself for judging yourself that you judge yourself.
Like at some point,
You just got to stop.
Just let it be what it is.
The only thing that I do that I guess works,
If you can even call it that,
Is as quickly as I can just be honest with myself.
And what I found is there's no fixing it,
Right?
There's no shutting off the mechanism,
Which relates to not judging myself for the that does that.
All I can do is just see it.
But so often what we do is we see it and then we judge it.
That's not spiritual.
I don't want to be seen that way.
How do I turn it off?
That's not the point.
The point is to see that it's happening and acknowledge that it's happening.
And then go about your life.
When I see that it happens,
Like in my relationship,
What arises is forgiveness.
Oh,
It's not really about you.
Oh,
You really don't have what I want.
Trying to turn that off to make sure it never happens again is futile.
You know what happens if I do want to turn it off and make sure it never happens again.
I now think other people should be able to turn it off.
Oh,
If only they were more spiritual like me.
And then I pretend like it's not happening in me.
It's like,
No,
It's happening to all of us all the time.
Yeah,
I can't turn it off.
And then there's moments where I have a dream that I turned it off.
And then I find out that I didn't.
I have a dream that I became super spiritual.
And then I find out that I'm not.
That I'm just like everyone else.
Again,
The point is,
It's not about me.
It's about what God is doing.
And God is beautifully just letting everyone have their dream because God knows that what you really are is untouched by the dream.
God doesn't care about your dream.
God isn't judging your dream.
God is letting you dream whatever you need to dream because whatever you dream cannot be wrong.
It's serving a purpose so that you can see it,
Which brings us back to just be aware and acknowledge.
Isn't that somewhat freeing though,
Right?
Like,
Oh,
I don't need to turn this off.
I don't need to fix it.
It just is what it is.
