If you go to a cinema and you sit down,
Before anything happens,
You're staring at a blank white screen.
There's nothing on the screen.
It's empty.
It's white.
It's blank.
And then in the back,
There's a projector and the projector puts a movie on the screen.
From the projector's point of view,
It thinks the movie is on the screen.
The projector is looking at the screen and saying,
Look,
The movie is out there.
I'm watching something out there,
Something that I'm separate from.
What the projector doesn't realize is that it's actually looking at its inside.
What it sees on the screen is what's coming from inside what it is.
It's not separate from it at all.
It is its own creation.
No matter what the projector puts on the screen,
It doesn't affect the screen at all.
Let's just dive in.
Welcome to the program.
And I'm just going to trust that everything's recording.
I've pressed the right buttons.
I'm relaxed.
Because,
I mean,
Once again,
I showed up late to this one,
Just a little bit,
Three,
Four minutes.
I scrambled around trying to get ready.
We're here.
That's what's exciting.
It feels like it's been a while since I've done this,
But still last Tuesday.
Welcome everyone joining us live from all around the world.
This is Holding Space for Love to be Seen.
My name is Tiger Singleton.
I'm the host of this program where we connect once a week,
Hold Space for Love to be Seen.
I'm going to talk about a topic that in some way or another is going to allow us to see beyond the mind's shenanigans and connect with a reality that is more present and true.
And naturally,
What we all discover time and time again,
The more we see what's real and true beyond the mind's nonsense,
We instantly,
Magically connect with more love,
Compassion,
And freedom.
So that's the game we get to play.
I get to come up with topics and then get to explain how those topics expose the opportunity to see yourself,
Others in life more clearly.
And simply by doing that,
There's a beautiful play that emerges where it's like,
Holy shit,
Everything's all right.
I can go play now.
I can do what I'm here to do.
I can enjoy the experience of being human.
And that's what we're going to explore today.
The title today is How slash Do I Create My Own Reality?
And I'm so excited to talk about this.
One of the reasons I'm excited to talk about it is I'm constantly encountering an insane perspective about this.
It's usually an argument when people want to say that it's not true or blah,
Blah,
Blah,
Blah,
Hashtag victim shaming,
Which just completely misses the point of what I'm trying to articulate and what has been tried to be articulated throughout the history of spirituality.
So I'm hoping to bring a little bit of a more practical understanding about this pointer and how we can apply it to our lives.
The format of this program,
Introduction,
Almost over.
We're going to take two minutes and just be still.
It's a great opportunity for me to just relax,
To be here,
To be present.
And if you're going to hang out here with me for an hour,
I invite you to do the same.
Take that two minutes and just settle in.
And then from that two minutes,
I'm going to spontaneously talk about this topic.
Just kind of whatever comes up,
I'm going to run my mouth and see what's there.
After I run my mouth 30,
40 minutes,
We're going to do Q&A.
I'm sorry,
Q&R questions and reflections.
For those joining us live,
They can write questions in the comments and I can speak to that,
Sharing my perspective and you can see whatever you see.
And then finally,
We will conclude with a very short and sweet guided meditation,
Approximately five to eight minutes long.
And then that'll be the program.
And then we'll do it again next week.
But for now,
Let's go ahead and do the two minutes of stillness.
So relax and experience some presence.
Let's do that.
All right,
Folks,
This is happening and we get to take our time.
Don't have to rush through this.
Okay,
The title,
How slash Do I Create My Own Reality.
And again,
I wrote a pre-broadcast reflection posted in different places,
Which helps sets the tone of what I'm about to get into.
So hope you got a chance to read that.
Here's the thing.
I have to ask myself,
What am I experiencing?
Right?
If we're going to investigate,
How is it that I'm creating my own experience?
Fundamentally,
We have to look at the nature of experience.
And it's so beautiful how upside down we have this as human beings,
Upside down in the way that we assume that we are experiencing something that we are separate from.
We assume that we are experiencing something out there.
And so in that frame of reference,
And as it relates to creating your own reality,
The assumption is how am I creating that thing out there?
Right?
Because it's like,
Okay,
So there's me,
Here I am.
And then there's that thing out there.
And so how do I create that thing out there?
And this misses the point.
We're already lost.
The question is about,
What are you experiencing?
Are you experiencing that something out there that you're separate from?
Or are you creating an experience in relationship to what you see is out there?
The creation isn't so much about that thing out there.
The creation is understanding that your experience is your relationship with that thing out there.
And furthermore,
Maybe more deeply,
You are relating with your story about that thing out there.
And that story isn't out there.
That story's in you.
For example,
And this is fun,
And I mentioned this a lot,
As I'm doing this video and you're watching or listening,
There's the assumption that you are experiencing Tiger.
You're experiencing what I'm saying.
And so you can say,
Well,
How could I be creating that if this is my experience?
But really,
The creation is to relate with your perception about this character called Tiger.
You're relating with your interpretation of what you think I'm saying.
You're not hearing me.
You're hearing what you think I'm saying.
And what you think I'm saying is filtered through so much nonsense.
It's filtered through your life journey.
And as such,
Everyone that's listening is hearing something different.
Likewise,
Everyone that sees me sees a different version of Tiger.
And that version that you see is to see your own scene.
And just recognize this.
See if you can see this.
That you're looking at me,
But yet what you're experiencing is what you see.
And everybody sees something else.
So in a way,
It's like,
It looks like everyone's looking at the same person,
But yet everyone sees a different person.
Everyone sees their own creation of this character called Tiger.
And so whatever character of Tiger you see is your creation.
Equally as so,
As we go through life,
Things appear to happen,
But your experience of those things is 100% determined by what you think is happening.
Which is also to say,
The story about what's happening,
Which is also to say,
Again,
The meaning associated with that story.
This is the creative element in all human beings.
That all human beings are constantly in a state of creation.
And how you create with what you think you see sets the tone for the next moment of creation.
And so it's like it unravels into itself.
And this creates a very different real life journey and experience depending on that creation.
For example,
And this is an example I used in the pre-broadcast reflections.
And if it speaks to your current struggle,
Then be gentle on yourself.
One of the things that I constantly encounter when I work with people or talk to them is the issue of illness and disease.
Where someone gets cancer,
Someone gets injured,
Someone gets an illness and it seems to disrupt their life.
In so many instances,
What we encounter is that this circumstance isn't the problem we thought it was.
That in fact,
Within the circumstance is an opportunity to recognize what's actually important.
This experience has exposed maybe the ways we haven't been taking care of ourselves.
This experience exposes the ways that we are hard on ourselves.
And so according to the individual,
They can either see this as an opportunity or a problem.
Right?
There's a projection of meaning.
When something happens,
We say,
What is this?
Is it anything other than what you decide?
Is this against you or is this for you?
What are you creating?
Now you see the automatic assumption as we encounter life and circumstance.
We assume that the way that we see it is the way that it is.
And this is partly what the spiritual invitation has been inviting people to see is that things just are.
They're not good.
They're not bad.
They're not positive.
They're not negative.
In a very real way,
They're empty.
What you experience in that emptiness is how you see.
This is so profound.
Just notice this in your own human journey as you've been walking through this life.
How much you've been encountering experience,
Telling a story,
And then thinking that story exists outside of your story.
Whether it's what somebody says,
What somebody does,
Whether it's what happens or doesn't happen,
What does it mean?
Is this for you or is this against you?
Likewise,
In another practical way,
If you're engaged in running a business and you encounter what appears to be a failure,
Is that positive or is it negative?
Something didn't go how you thought it was going to go.
Is that positive or is that negative?
What's the creation?
For the one who says it's ultimately negative,
What do they do?
They shut down and they retract.
They assume that this is empty of value and now they give up.
That's the creation.
This is a reason to not do what I'm here to do.
For another person,
They look at what appears to be a failure and they realize that this isn't a failure at all or,
Wow,
I learned something.
It transforms into something positive or success.
You can see that whatever the creation is fuels the next moment of creation.
If you continue down a path that interprets constant negativity,
What do you think life is going to continue to look like?
Isn't that amazing?
Now,
Gosh,
There's so many points I want to make here.
The propensity to create negativity is required if you perceive yourself as separate from what you're experiencing.
That's really important.
I'll say it again.
The propensity to perceive negativity is only possible when you perceive that you're experiencing something you're separate from,
Which is like saying this is against me.
For it to be against you,
It says I'm experiencing something out there.
I'm separate from it,
Which is to not see the truth of reality.
Now,
As I see more clearly that I'm simply dancing with my own creation,
It's very difficult to perceive it as negative because it's not against you.
How can it be against you if it is you?
That doesn't make any sense at all.
If it's your own creation,
There's a curiosity of why would I be creating this,
Which also shows that it's an opportunity to see something.
It's inherently positive.
It's for you.
It's from you.
It's by you.
This is why there's the knee-jerk reaction to feel like a victim of life and circumstance,
Is because there's the training that we are experiencing something out there.
This is what we've been told,
And we're told in so many ways.
But yet,
If you investigate a deep sincerity about what you're experiencing,
You will see I am experiencing my own seeing.
Look at the play of emotion,
Because we can say that's a huge element of this human experience.
What is your emotion responding to?
Is it responding to what's happening in life,
Or is it responding to how you interpret what's happening?
How much of our assumption is that my emotion is responding to what's happening?
I feel this way because XYZ.
Is that true,
Or do you feel this way because of what you think XYZ means?
I feel this way because of my creation.
Likewise,
Same with the positive emotion.
Do I feel happy because of XYZ,
Or do I feel happy because of my interpretation about XYZ?
What I'm exposing here is that your experience cannot be dictated by what happens on the outside,
Positive or negative.
You're the ultimate authority,
And you can give that authority to your experience,
Which is simply blaming the experience,
Positive or negative.
Again,
It's not an issue of right or wrong,
Good or bad.
It's just a mechanism of what's really happening.
The more you can see clearly that your inner world is not dictated by the outer world,
You start to recognize how free you are.
In that freedom,
You give the world back to the world.
You give other people back to other people.
Okay,
There's another aspect to this,
Which I get a lot of questions about.
It's a favorite trick of the mind to stop looking at your own experience and to start trying to figure out other people's experience.
What about these people?
What about those people?
Here's the comedy.
You're thinking about somebody else's experience.
Do you see their experience,
Or do you see how you see their experience?
What is it you're trying to figure out?
There's the assumption that I'm thinking about somebody else's experience.
No,
You're thinking about your own thinking,
About what you think is somebody else's experience.
You cannot know anyone else's experience.
You can only know your own experience,
Because remember,
The premise here is,
How am I creating everything?
How am I creating everything I experience?
If I think I'm experiencing somebody else's experience,
How am I creating that?
This points us back to look at what we can know,
Which is our own experience.
Because in a very practical way,
And I'm sure you've experienced this,
You've gone through an experience that,
Let's say,
Wasn't pleasant,
But yet it exposed a profound opportunity for growth.
It exposed something that you never saw before that pointed back to how powerful you are.
It exposed your worth and value.
It helped you move beyond fear.
Now,
Do you see how somebody else could look at that experience you went through and say,
Nobody should ever go through that?
You're like,
What do you mean?
It's only because of that experience that I am who I am today.
It's only because of that experience that I have more love to share with the world.
You're saying I shouldn't have more love to share with the world?
You see,
The other person looking at your experience doesn't see your experience.
They see themselves in your experience.
This is called projected suffering.
You know what it reminds me of?
When I was 18 years old,
I went on a church mission trip to some third world part of the world.
The message was that,
Okay,
So these people are super poor.
They don't have a lot.
We're going to build a church.
We're going to go rescue,
Essentially.
There was this whole narrative about how unfortunate these people were.
Then I get there and my mind is blown as I encounter the happiest people I've ever met,
And they have so little.
Yet,
We're the ones that are stressed out trying to save them.
The mind can say,
Well,
What about people who don't have iPhones?
What about people who don't have XYZ?
What about people who have to deal with this,
That,
And the other?
You don't know their experience.
Just like in a very playful,
Non-serious way,
Imagine there's an alien spaceship that comes and looks at my experience and says,
Oh man,
Tiger doesn't have XYZ.
Oh,
He can't communicate telepathically with people.
That must be hard.
A projection of lack,
A projection that something's missing,
A projection that it shouldn't be that way.
But yet,
In my experience,
I'm super stoked to have what I have,
To be where I am,
And to encounter the difficulties that I encounter that expose a profound opportunity to grow.
We must come back to the source of it all,
Which is your own seeing,
And to see that what you're seeing is a projection,
Your own creation.
Part of what also makes this so profoundly difficult is our assumption about the point of life.
This is beautiful.
We have these assumptions that say the point of life is for people to be successful.
We create an image in our mind that we compare to,
Where we say,
Okay,
If people aren't this,
That,
Or the other,
Then it means the point of life has been missed.
Something's wrong.
Or we could say the point of life is for people to not die.
And then when people die,
We think something went wrong because it didn't match our image.
Or we could say the point of life is for people to not struggle,
For people to not suffer.
And so when it appears to look that way,
In that comparison,
We project that something is going wrong.
And this is all filtered through how we see ourselves,
And then it's projected onto others.
Here's what I recommend in openness to,
That the point of life is to be life.
Not what you think about life,
Not your judgments about life,
Not your expectations about life,
But the point of life is to be life so that life can be life.
And whatever happens in life serves that purpose.
Yeah,
You might not like it.
That's fine.
But life is still going to be life.
And again,
Me being disturbed by life doesn't say anything about life.
It shows me what I see about life.
Right?
Again,
I can say I'm being disturbed by life.
Is it that,
Or is it because of what you think it means?
Do you see the fine line here?
And how easy it is to cross that line and assume that you're being affected by the outside.
It's a very,
Very narrow line that's easy to cross,
Almost invisible,
But it's there.
Everything in life is free.
Everything in life is allowed to be what it is,
Whether you like it or not.
In one way,
There's a unfolding of chaos that has to be what it is in order for this whole thing to be happening.
And what we see as an unfolding of chaos is actually the melody of a divine symphony that the mind simply cannot hear and does not understand.
And so the mind fights for its idea of order,
Which isn't order at all.
It's death.
There's no aliveness.
There's no freedom.
There's no spontaneity.
There's no freshness.
The mind wants everything to be dead,
So it stops moving.
And you think you'll no longer be disturbed.
If only things were how I wanted them to be,
Then I wouldn't be disturbed,
Based on the assumption that I'm disturbed by the way life is.
This is why it'll never work,
Because the premise is false.
Another important point.
This insight is only for you.
This insight is only for you.
What do I mean by that?
All spiritual insight only pertains to the one who's looking in that direction.
Spiritual insight isn't for you to impose on others.
Meaning,
You can see the mechanism of how you create your own experience,
And then you go look at other people and you say they don't see that they're creating their experience.
If only they could see that.
Which is you creating the experience of other people not creating their experience.
Leave them alone.
Because so often,
We think we're being disturbed by other people not seeing what you think you see.
Again,
You think you're experiencing someone you're separate from,
But what you're experiencing is how you see them.
You're seeing your creation.
This puts us back in the bind of saying,
If only life was how I wanted it to be,
Then I could relax.
Then I could enjoy.
Then I can love.
If only this other person saw this insight,
Then I wouldn't be emotionally disturbed.
Are you really disturbed by them and where they are?
Or are you disturbed by what you think it means?
There's a beauty in recognizing this,
That you're not disturbed by anyone.
Nobody else is in your way.
And if somebody seems like you're there in your way,
That's being created.
That's being seen.
It can be seen as a problem,
Or be seen as an opportunity.
Not an opportunity to change them,
But an opportunity to see more clearly,
Most notably,
That they're not in the way.
There's also an invitation to be so incredibly gentle on yourself in this.
Because in one regard,
We can see how simple this is,
And then you can see yourself as so far away from the simplicity.
And again,
Are you really far away?
Or is that just how you're seeing it?
Because in one way,
There's no distance other than the distance you imagine.
And this really speaks to the heart of waking up,
The heart of awakening.
We imagine ourselves at a great distance,
And then we believe that distance.
Which is almost like saying,
There's a great distance before I can forgive myself.
No,
You can just forgive yourself now.
I want to end with a very short illustration that I've talked about a lot,
But it's always on point.
And that is the example of the cinema projector.
And you've heard this before,
Probably from me,
But see if anything else rings true for you here for the 18th time.
If you go to a cinema,
And you sit down,
Before anything happens,
You're staring at a blank white screen.
There's nothing on the screen.
It's empty.
It's white.
It's blank.
And then in the back,
There's a projector,
And the projector puts a movie on the screen.
From the projector's point of view,
It thinks the movie is on the screen.
The projector is looking at the screen and saying,
Look,
The movie is out there.
I'm watching something out there,
Something that I'm separate from.
What the projector doesn't realize is that it's actually looking at its inside.
What it sees on the screen is what's coming from inside what it is.
It's not separate from it at all.
It is its own creation.
No matter what the projector puts on the screen,
It doesn't affect the screen at all.
It doesn't matter what the movie is about.
It doesn't matter how violent the movie is.
It doesn't matter how scary the movie is,
How funny the movie is,
Or even how beautiful the movie is.
The screen is unaffected by any movie.
The screen is unconcerned about any movie.
The screen is a space of freedom that says,
See whatever you see so that you can see what's on the inside.
Life is this blank canvas,
This sacred emptiness that is a landscape of freedom that allows you to put on the screen whatever you put on the screen.
It allows you to create.
It completely changes the dynamic of how you relate with what's on the screen because you see you're just relating with yourself.
So whatever you see in this life,
You put it there and it's filtered through how you see yourself.
Everything you see shows you how you see you.
And the more love that is lacking in the way you see yourself will be the lack of love you see in the world.
So be gentle,
Slow down,
And question what it is you think you're seeing.
Okay,
Q&R time.
Any questions popping up for you guys?
Sammy says,
So we are the screen,
Not the projector?
Well,
In a way,
You're both.
You're playing a game with yourself.
You are the blank screen in the context that no matter what you think about yourself isn't what you are,
Right?
What you really are is the blank canvas.
But you can have any thoughts about yourself you want,
And none of the thoughts are true.
It's just a way to see,
Which is why it's so incredibly playful.
And the more playful you see it is,
The more that you see it's not true,
The more fun you'll have.
But the more you think it is true,
The more serious it becomes,
And the less fun you have.
And this is just like life.
As you tell stories,
If you can see that no story is true,
Then story becomes playful.
If you think there is a story that's true,
You'll fight for that story to protect it,
Which comes with the fear of losing it.
It's no longer playful.
This really speaks to seeing the depth of what you are as a play of creation,
Constantly creating.
You're not creating anything that's real.
You're not creating anything that's true.
It's all illusion.
It's all play for the sake of play.
And then it will all disappear just as quickly as turning the lights on in the cinema,
And the movie's over,
And then do another movie.
Thank you so much for your donations that you guys are sending in.
I appreciate that.
Kara asks,
But can we ever truly connect with another if we are only seeing our own perceptions of each other?
It feels like ultimately we are totally alone in life because no one can ever see us.
Ding,
Ding,
Ding,
Ding,
Ding,
Ding.
Not sure how you interpret that,
What you said,
But you're touching upon something that's profoundly liberating and is the key to a profound depth of connection with the appearance of others.
How difficult is it to connect with another when you want something from them?
Do you notice this?
If you want something from somebody else,
There's a tension inside of you that won't open up unless you get what you want.
And to want something from another is almost like saying you're separate from what you want.
You're saying this other person has power over you.
And so furthermore,
You won't let yourself be open,
You won't let yourself be vulnerable,
You won't let yourself connect.
But when you see that the other person doesn't have any power over you,
When you see that the other person is not in the way,
There's a profound opening to connect.
Furthermore,
Like in my play of connecting with people,
Even connecting here with you now,
I know that you can't see me.
I know that you can't hear me.
You know what that does for me?
It allows me to be myself.
It allows me to play authentically in a way that resonates with my heart.
I'm here because this is what I love to do.
I'm here because this is what I enjoy.
And so there's an authenticity.
And in the play of things,
You're going to discover a connection with my authenticity that reminds you of your own inspiration to be authentic.
So there's connection.
There's connection from authenticity.
And if I want you to understand me,
If I want you to see me,
I won't be authentic.
I'll be what I think you want me to be.
And so it's through my letting go of you to reconnect with myself that allows me to connect with others.
It's automatic.
There's no trying to connect with others.
There's being connected to my own heart.
And then connection with others just happens in the way that it's supposed to happen.
It's beautiful.
My goodness.
Which is interesting,
Because as we go around wanting to connect with others,
We're trying to figure out who we have to be in order for people to like us,
Which essentially is telling yourself,
Don't be yourself.
And so if you do connect with anyone,
They're not even connecting with you.
They're connecting with you.
They're connecting with your facade.
You're pretending.
And it will ultimately just feel gross.
Like this doesn't feel real.
When you see that no one sees you,
You stop trying to be seen and you see yourself.
What you've really been looking for.
The voice inside that says,
I want to be seen.
You're talking to yourself.
I want to see what I am,
Which is simply another way that says,
I want to be authentic.
Beautiful.
Hugh asks,
Who changes the movie?
Are we here just to watch all the movies?
Here's the beautiful thing in that as you watch the movie with awareness,
The movie changes.
It's automatic.
It's not a trying to change the movie.
This is a beautiful point.
It's simply through the awareness of what's actually real and true that the movie transforms and resembles what's true,
Which is like your own unique play as opposed to a fake pretense of play through the awareness of what's actually going on.
It's like,
Oh,
I don't have to play this stupid game.
I can play a game that's more authentic with me.
Right.
And that's not trying to do that.
That's an awareness that I can.
And simply through the awareness,
It begins to transform the movie,
Just like in the example of living with more abundance or being more successful in your business.
This is so not about doing and trying.
It's about a transformation of awareness where you start seeing the projections of limitation.
You start seeing the projections of lack,
The movie of lack,
And you see,
Holy shit,
That's not true.
Just in that recognition is an opening for abundance in some play of a way.
It's an opening up of opportunity just in seeing it,
Just in seeing it.
The movie will change and bring you more opportunity because you see there's more opportunity.
Awareness plays with the movie being seen.
And again,
This is the invitation of spirituality,
Which essentially is to be still and know that's an invitation for awareness.
What do you think is actually going on here?
Right.
You're all stressed out and anxious,
And then you be still and meditate and you realize,
Oh,
Snap,
Everything I think is happening isn't really happening.
And you take a breath and you discover more openness.
And in that openness,
You can relax and you can have more fun.
But if you don't ever take that moment to question what you think is happening,
You become a prisoner to what you think is happening because you really think it's happening.
Awesome.
All right,
Let's do the guided meditation in the most playful way possible.
Let's spend some time together and open up to the possibility that we are the creator of everything we experience.
But first,
Let's come back to reality.
Allow the breath to this moment in the soft stillness of right now.
Can you recognize the potential of all the things the mind could think about?
It can tell stories of rejection,
Stories of approval,
Stories of success and stories of failure.
And yet all of those stories,
None of it's happening right now.
This doesn't mean it's wrong or it's bad.
Let's see if we can be a little bit fascinated by this.
In a very playful way,
We can recognize that the mind is constantly creating,
Constantly telling stories,
Constantly assuming.
And in the same way that we are in this moment right now,
If you start believing those stories,
You start believing the creation.
It's almost like it invites it into your experience.
You could take one little thought such as,
I'm not enough,
And watch the mind create a world full of evidence of why you're not enough.
But yet,
None of that's actually here right now.
And likewise,
As we travel our journey through life,
Things appear to happen.
But what are you experiencing?
Are you experiencing what's happening?
Or are you experiencing the stories you tell?
What you think it means?
Are you experiencing what is?
Or are you experiencing your creation?
When somebody says something,
Do you experience what they say?
Or do you experience what you think it means about you?
Come home to reality and see you're creating it all.
This doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
It's an invitation to see how powerful you are.
You can see anything as against you or for you.
And however you choose to see it will influence how you dance with it.
Let's breathe into this open space,
This blank canvas that's simply waiting for you to create whatever you want to create.
You can create failures.
You can create successes.
You can create enemies and you can create friends.
But let's start over and see that this blank canvas is there for the sake of play.
It's only when we don't see what's really happening that we tend to create scary things.
But the moment you see that this all exists so that you can experience the depth of what you are,
Then your creation becomes so much more loving and playful in nature.
Just breathe into this openness.
You're on a great adventure discovering something beautiful on the inside of what you are.
And now go share that beauty with the world.
Thank you for meditating with me today.
