Practice of Taking a Pause from Therapy with Helena,
Practice Guide.
Inspired by Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance,
Chapter 3,
The Sacred Pause.
It is human to turn away from pain and turn towards what gives us pleasure.
We all get caught in activities of dissociating that temporarily feel good,
Like scrolling on Instagram,
Emotional eating,
Drinking,
Keeping ourselves busy,
Doing something,
Anything to take you away from being with what's going on in your body mind.
These habits of doing are not entirely bad.
They can be soothing and provide short-term,
Immediate relief from hard feelings and hurtful thoughts.
I get it.
Practicing pause is a wonderful way to work on shifting those chronic,
Addictive doing behaviors and bravely be with the ever-changing waters within you.
Reflect.
What are your habitual do-something,
Don't-feel-reality go-tos that help you dissociate or change a feeling happening in your body mind?
Don't feel your aching heart.
Don't feel that heavy pit in your belly.
Check your phone instead,
The addictive doing part says.
Again,
These habits of doing are not bad.
They are part of a learned defense mechanism trying to keep you safe from pain.
Learning to pause is the first step of radical acceptance.
What is a pause?
A pause is a suspension of activity,
A time of temporary disengagement when we are no longer moving toward any goal,
When we stop asking,
What do I do next?
When to practice pause.
You don't have to sit down on a meditation cushion to practice pause.
You may pause in a conversation,
Letting go of what you are about to say in order to genuinely listen and be with the other person.
You may pause when you feel suddenly moved or delighted or saddened,
Allowing the feelings to play through your heart just as they are.
In a pause,
You simply discontinue whatever you are doing,
Thinking,
Talking,
Writing,
Planning,
Worrying,
Eating,
And become wholeheartedly present,
Attentive,
And often physically still.
Practice.
Begin by discontinuing whatever you are doing,
Watching a show,
Scrolling,
Going to the fridge.
Take a few deep breaths.
Notice as you pause,
Are there worries or thoughts about what you are going to do next?
Notice,
Is there tightness in your body mind?
Now notice what else is going on for you.
What sensations are you aware of in your body?
Where are they in your body?
Are they heavy,
Light,
Cold,
Hot?
What does it feel like for you to step out of doing and pause?
Can you simply allow for this moment whatever is happening inside of you?
After a period of pause,
Gently return to what you were doing and observe any shift.
Whenever you find you are disconnected from your body,
You can begin your life fresh in the moment by pausing,
Relaxing into your body mind,
And paying attention to your immediate experience.
