Working with difficult emotions.
Please find a comfortable position sitting or lying down.
Then close your eyes and take three relaxing breaths.
You should be very comfortable when you're practicing with difficult emotions.
Place your hand over your heart or another soothing and supportive place for a few moments to remind yourself that you are in the room and that you too are worthy of kindness.
Let yourself recall a mildly to moderately difficult situation that you're in right now.
Perhaps it's a health problem,
Stress in a relationship,
A microaggression,
A work issue.
Do not choose a very difficult problem or a trivial problem.
Please choose a situation that generates some stress in your body when you think of it but doesn't overwhelm you.
Also,
Because this practice emphasizes the yin qualities of softening and soothing,
It's better not to choose a situation that makes you feel angry or feel that you need to protect yourself.
So clearly visualize the problem.
Who was there?
What was said?
What happened?
Or what might happen?
As you relive this situation,
Notice if any emotions arise within you.
And if so,
Notice if a label for an emotion comes up,
A name for that emotion.
Worry,
Sadness,
Grief,
Confusion,
Fear,
Longing,
Despair.
If you're having many emotions,
Seeing if you can name the strongest emotion associated with the situation.
Now repeating the name of the emotion to yourself in a tender,
Understanding voice,
As if you were validating for a friend what the friend was feeling.
That's grief or that's worry.
Now expanding your awareness to your body as a whole,
Recalling the difficult situation again if it has begun to slip out of your mind,
Naming the strongest emotion you feel,
And scanning your body for where you feel it most easily.
In your mind's eye,
Sweeping your body from head to toe,
Stopping where you can sense a little tension or discomfort.
Just feel what's feelable in your body right now.
Nothing more.
Now if you can,
Please choose a single location in your body where the feeling expresses itself most strongly,
Perhaps as a point of muscle tension in your neck,
A painful feeling in your stomach,
Or an ache in your heart.
In your mind,
Inclining gently toward that spot.
See if you can experience the sensation directly,
As if from the inside.
If that's too specific or feels too strong,
See if you can just feel the general sense of discomfort.
Now begin softening into that location in your body,
Letting the muscles soften and relax as if in a warm bath.
Softening,
Softening,
Softening.
Remember that you're not trying to change the feeling.
You're just holding it in a tender way.
If you wish,
Just softening a little around the edges.
Now soothing yourself because of this difficult situation.
If you wish,
Placing a hand over the part of your body that feels uncomfortable and just feeling the warmth and gentle touch of your hand.
Perhaps imagining warmth and kindness flowing through your hand into your body.
Maybe even thinking of your body as if it were the body of a beloved child.
Soothing,
Soothing,
Soothing.
And are there some comforting words that you might need to hear?
For instance,
You might imagine if you had a friend who was struggling in the same way.
What would you say to your friend?
Maybe,
I'm so sorry you feel this way.
Or I care deeply about you.
Can you offer yourself a similar message?
Maybe it's so hard to feel this.
Or may I be kind to myself.
And finally,
Allowing the discomfort to be there.
Making room for it.
Facing the need to make it go away.
And allowing yourself to be just as you are.
Just like this.
If only for this moment.
Softening,
Soothing,
Allowing.
Taking some time and going through the three steps on your own.
Unpolithe.
You may notice that the feeling starts to shift,
Or even change location.
If so,
That's okay.
Just stay with it.
Softening.
Soothing.
Allowing.
Now letting go of the practice and focusing on your body as a whole.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel.
To be exactly as you are in this moment.
