Hello,
Hello.
My name is Jessica Amos.
I'm a mindfulness and meditation teacher and the founder of Stay with yourself.
Today I want to talk to you about resentment.
I am very familiar with the feeling of resentment and I imagine many of you are too if you are human.
Feeling resentment is a part of it.
I just want you to take a moment and just reflect.
We'll just take a little pause here.
Spend a minute.
You can close your eyes.
And just notice if there's any resentment you're carrying towards other people,
Towards a circumstance,
Towards other people.
Life in general,
Towards something from the past,
Put it on a scale.
0 to 10,
0 being you are completely resentment-free,
You have zero resentments,
And 10 being you are racked full of resentments.
It can be very specific or a general sense.
And what's your relationship to the resentment that you're feeling?
I'm going to go into a little story here.
Years ago,
After I'd gotten divorced,
I had been dating someone and had all these problems with him.
Like he wasn't doing this and this wasn't happening.
And I'm in therapy talking about it is like,
How do I free myself from this?
It just feels so yuck.
And I feel so out of control with this feeling of resentment.
And I'm talking to my therapist about it and she looks at me and she goes,
I want to tell you something about resentment.
" And I'm like,
Give it to me.
That's what I'm here for.
Tell me,
Tell me.
I need the answers.
And she goes,
You know,
When you're resenting another person.
You are really actually resenting yourself.
And I was like.
.
.
Hold the phone,
Say that again.
It just blew my mind.
When you're resenting another person or a circumstance or whatever,
What you're actually doing is resenting yourself.
That landed for me.
It gave,
It empowered me.
The way she explained it was,
When you're resenting someone else,
You're really resenting yourself,
Typically because you're not honoring yourself.
Again,
You're not staying with yourself.
You're not honoring your own truth.
So I found that as I began to reflect on the things I was resenting about the person I was dating,
Or if I went farther back,
If I had had this information when I was married,
That would have been really helpful,
Too,
Because then I could reflect on How am I betraying myself?
How am I not honoring my own boundaries?
How am I not really staying true to my truth.
And I found that typically.
It's absolutely accurate that I'm resenting myself when I think I'm resenting another person because I'm betraying myself in some way.
I'm not honoring my own truth in some way.
And it can be as simple as being put out.
I feel like this person is making so many demands on me or they're stepping on my toes or they're not respecting my time or my business.
That's not really for someone else to do.
I have to respect my time.
I have to set those boundaries.
I have to speak up.
And as a recovering people pleaser who wants to adjust myself and be who it is I think I need to be in order to receive and get and gain the love and connection that I desire,
I have lived a lifetime of constant self-betrayal,
Which is very much linked into resentment.
Can you draw the dots between how you might be betraying yourself and actually resenting yourself for not honoring yourself in your own truth?
And then what would it look like to change that and to actually take your power back and not make this about resenting someone else,
But to heal that resentment in yourself?
Thank you again for being here.
May you stay with yourself today and always.
See you soon.
