If you are here,
There is probably a part of you that is exhausted.
Exhausted from the push and pull.
From wanting someone close and then needing them to back off.
From loving people.
And being afraid of them at the same time.
From the anxiety that shows up.
Not just when things go wrong.
But sometimes when things are going really,
Really well.
That is the fearful avoidant experience.
And it is one of the most disorienting ways to move through love.
Because the thing you want the most is also the thing that scares you the most.
This session is for that part of you,
The part that is tired of the cycle.
The part that is ready to feel safe in love.
Safe inside it,
Held by it.
All you need to do right now is get comfortable.
You can be seated or lying down,
Whatever feels right in your body in this moment.
If you are lying down.
Let your arms rest gently at your sides.
If you're seated,
Let your hands rest easy in your lap.
When you're ready.
Gently close your eyes.
We're going to start with just a few breaths together.
Breathing slowly through your nose.
Filling your lungs all the way up.
And exhale through your mouth.
Letting everything go.
Again,
Breathe in.
In and out.
One more time,
A long,
Slow breath in.
And a full,
Releasing exhale.
Good.
You're already doing exactly what you need to do.
Now I want you to bring your awareness to the top of your head.
Notice any tension sitting there.
Any tightness across your scalp.
Your forehead.
And the space behind your eyes.
And just let it soften.
And give it permission to release.
In its own time.
Let that softening move down into your face now.
Your jaw.
Which holds so much.
Your cheeks.
The muscles around your mouth.
Let your tongue drop gently from the roof of your mouth.
And let your face become completely.
.
.
Beautifully slack.
And now down into your neck and shoulders.
This is where so many of us carry the weight of staying ready.
Just let your shoulders drop.
Just a little lower than they were.
Notice the release in the back of your neck.
The space that opens up there.
When you choose to soften.
Let that release travel down through your arms now.
Your upper arms,
Your elbows.
Your forearms.
Your wrist.
All the way down through your palms.
And into the tips of your fingers.
Your hands are open.
And at rest now.
Completely still and soft.
Bring your awareness back.
Into your chest.
And if there's a tightness there,
If there is the familiar squeeze of anxiety around your heart,
Just want you to notice it.
Just acknowledge it.
And with your next exhale.
Let just a little of that tightness go.
Breathe out with it.
Your belly now.
Let it be soft.
Let it be easy.
Just let it rise and move with your breath.
Easy.
And unheld.
Down into your lower back.
Your hips.
A place where you've been sitting or lying.
Let your body be fully supported now.
Whatever you are resting on has you completely.
You are held.
Let the relaxation move down through your thighs,
Heavy and warm.
Your knees.
Your calves.
All the way down through your ankles.
And into the soles of your feet.
To the tips of your toes.
Your whole body now.
From the top of your head.
To the tips of your toes.
Soft.
And heavy and completely at rest.
Now I'm going to count down from 5 to 1.
And with each number.
You're going to drift a little deeper.
More Relax.
More open.
More receptive.
There's nowhere you need to be.
Nothing you need to do.
Just allow yourself.
To go deeper with every number.
Five.
Letting go of the surface of the day.
Whatever happened before this moment,
It can wait.
For now,
Just drift.
4.
.
.
A little deeper now.
Notice how your body feels heavier with each breath.
How the space behind your eyes is growing darker and softer.
3.
Halfway there now.
Your mind is quieting.
The thoughts that were moving fast are beginning to slow.
You're moving inward now.
Into a place that is calm.
And still.
And completely your own.
Too.
Almost there.
Your body is so relaxed you might not be able to feel where you end and the surface beneath you begins.
This is a good place.
A safe place.
And let yourself arrive here fully.
One.
Deeply relaxed now.
Open.
Receptive ready to receive something new.
I want you to receive these words not just with your mind but with your whole body.
Let them settle into your chest,
Your belly,
Your bones.
Breathe them in.
You are safe right now,
In this moment.
You are worthy of love exactly as you are.
You can be close to someone and still belong to yourself.
Your nervous system is learning to rest.
Love expands you.
Love gives you room to breathe.
You are allowed to want connection and to have it too.
You are safe right now,
In this moment.
You are worthy of love exactly as you are.
You can be close to someone and still belong to yourself.
Your nervous system is learning to rest.
Love expands you.
Love gives you room to breathe.
You are allowed to want connection.
And to have it.
And now I want you to repeat these words in your mind as I say them.
Let them come from your own voice.
Your own knowing.
Let them be yours.
Repeat after me,
I am safe right now,
In this moment.
I am worthy of love exactly as I am.
I can be close to someone.
And still belong to myself.
My nervous system is learning to rest.
Love expands me.
Love gives me room to breathe.
I am allowed to want connection and to have it.
Good.
Now I want you to imagine a scene.
Not something far away,
Something close.
Something that could happen in the next few days or weeks.
You're with someone you care about.
Maybe a partner.
Maybe someone you're getting to know.
Maybe a close friend,
It doesn't matter.
What matters is that this is someone you want to feel close to and something has come up something tender.
Maybe they said something that touched you or asked how you were really doing.
And you could feel the old pool.
The familiar urge to change the subject.
Say you're fine.
To make a joke and step back behind the wall.
It in this moment.
In this visualization,
Something is different.
Your feet are on the ground.
Feel that,
Feel the weight of your body solid and present.
You're here and you're choosing to stay.
Just take one breath.
And you feel the discomfort.
The flutter of anxiety in your chest,
The tightness.
And you stay.
You let them see just a little more of you than you normally would.
Maybe you answer honestly.
Maybe you let the silence sit.
Maybe you reach toward them and stay open.
And notice what happens in your body when you do.
There may be discomfort,
Yes,
But underneath it something else.
Something that feels like relief.
Like exhaling a breath you've been holding for a very long time.
They received what you offered.
Not perfectly.
Not in the exact way you imagined.
But genuinely.
They are still there.
They're still with you.
And the space between you is a little warmer.
A little softer.
A little more real.
And feel that in your body right now,
That warmth.
That slight loosening around your heart.
Quiet sense of I did it,
I stayed.
I let someone in.
And I am still myself.
Hold that for a moment.
Breathe it in.
This is possible.
This has already happened inside you.
In this moment.
And what the mind practices.
The nervous system begins to believe.
Now let's go further.
I want you to let your mind drift forward.
Past and near future.
Into a life that your healing has made possible.
And I want you to arrive somewhere specific.
You're at home.
Not a house,
Necessarily.
But a feeling of home.
Warped.
Ease.
Particular quiet of a place where you are fully yourself.
Where everything is easy.
Where you are just you.
And there is someone with you.
Look around the space.
Notice the light in the room,
Maybe it's morning,
Soft and gold.
Kind of light that makes everything feel unhurried.
Or maybe it's evening.
Warm and low.
The kind that invites you to settle in.
Notice the details.
The colors around you.
What you can smell.
Maybe coffee.
Maybe something cooking.
Maybe just the particular smell of a home that is yours and safe.
And this person is close to you.
Close in the way you have always quietly hoped for.
Present real someone who sees you and chooses you.
And gives you room to breathe.
They say something.
Doesn't matter exactly what.
But you feel it in your chest.
The way you feel something when it's true.
A warmth that spreads outward from the center of your body.
And the remarkable thing,
The thing that might be new,
Is that you stay open.
You stay present.
You let it be exactly what it is.
You just feel it.
You let it land.
You are here in this moment.
In this life.
And it is yours.
Bring your hand to your chest if you want to.
Feel your heartbeat there,
Calm and steady.
This is where you are going.
This is what your nervous system is learning.
This is what becomes possible when you choose to move toward the thing you have always wanted most.
Breathe it in.
Of warmth.
The safety.
The sense of being fully known and fully chosen.
Let every cell of your body absorb this feeling as though it's already real.
Because in this moment,
Inside of you,
It is.
I am going to count from 1 to 5 now and as I do,
You will gently begin to return,
Bringing everything you felt back with you,
Carrying it forward into your day,
Your evening,
Your life.
1.
Beginning to come back,
Aware of your own body again.
To a little more present,
Noticing the surface beneath you,
The temperature of the air.
Three,
Taking a deeper breath.
Feeling yourself return to the room.
For almost back to normal.
With all your fingers if you'd like.
Gentle movement returning.
And five.
Eyes open whenever you're ready,
Fully back and present and a little different than when you arrived.
Take a moment before you move.
Just sit with whatever is here.
There's no rush.
You did something important today.
You let your nervous system practice something new.
And that practice matters more than you know.
