#176 How To Surrender Into Deep Acceptance

Weekly Soul-Infused Monday Show to set the tone for an uplifting and meaningful week. Today's episode is about how to create deeper acceptance within ourselves and embrace all experiences without judgment.

Transcript

Hi there and welcome back to Soul Infused Monday, The number one show for an inspired and meaningful week. And I'm so glad that I can connect with you on this in this way. And today's topic is going to be on how to surrender into deep acceptance. And just let me just turn off my emails here. And I believe that this topic in particular today, When it comes about when it comes to deep acceptance is particularly helpful for you if you're on your inner work journey, Like you're doing inner work, You're on your journey, Maybe you consider yourself a spiritual seeker, You struggle with accepting things the way they are, Or maybe accepting yourself, You're maybe longing for more acceptance. And you're definitely in the right place if you are here to set the tone for an uplifting and meaningful week. And also if you value like honest, Transparent, Authentic stories, Because today I'm not going to necessarily teach you a specific tool, Certain steps, Strategies to fix anything, Or to resolve a specific issue. Today, I'm going to share a little bit about the journey that I've been going through throughout the recovery of surgery in the last few months, The things I've learned and how I deal or dealt and still dealing with things differently than 20 years ago. And when it comes to acceptance, We get to revisit sometimes those places. And if you're anything like me, If you're anything like me, And you are on the journey, And you're working on yourself, You are committed to your own personal growth, We hit moments of pain, Fear, Despair, Frustration. And our ego sometimes gets also crashed, We face certain illusions or beliefs or an idea of how your awakening should look like, Or how enlightenment should look like. So today, I want to peel off a little bit those layers, But similarly by sharing also and being transparent, Because I've been on this journey for a long time, And I know the struggle myself. And now I'm teaching it and I'm really passionate about helping others. But today, I am more of a sharing person, Friend on the path, Instead of the role of a teacher, Although I cannot, I can't even really step out of that role sometimes. Anyway, Let's jump right in. I appreciate you taking the time here with me. I love having you here today. If you have any comments and any questions, Please leave them below. I will definitely go back to them if I don't get to answer them within this episode today. And I want to start the show off by inviting you to take a deep breath. And by inviting you to be open to receive whatever you're meant to receive today, And I'm also inviting you to have something to write, I always invite you to make notes because you never know when inspiration will hit. Sometimes it hits your heart. And sometimes it doesn't even look like it's hitting your heart. But it's kind of like something that might be super valuable for you. Okay, So let's jump right in. With the question, What does deep acceptance mean to you? What does deep acceptance mean to you? Just take a moment to ponder on that. Just take a moment, Take a breath. What does deep acceptance mean to you? Because it might maybe mean something different to what I think deep acceptance is for someone else. And you don't I mean, If you feel like sharing, You can share it. But if you don't feel like sharing totally okay. It's more an inward little exploration for yourself. What does deep acceptance mean to you? What deep acceptance means to me, And it's an I'm an evolving being, I am a growing being. So what I say today might be different one that from what I said a week ago, A year ago, Or what I'm gonna say ahead and you know, Like in a week from now. But at this moment, Deep acceptance for me really means to be an acceptance with everything that is to allow and to be okay with any experience that comes my way, The good, The bad, The beautiful, The ugly, Whatever ugly or bad that might be. And to really love myself through whatever the experience is, And I'm going to dig a little bit deeper into this because I believe that still such a profound foundation for us to be at peace and something on a deeper level. So deep acceptance means to really accept, Embrace and allow everything there is and to not pretend and to not pretend and we are all pretending, Including myself, Like, There's no shame in jumping that it's like, Even that is allowed. And to have the awareness of who I really am, Is not that one particular experience. And I've experienced that big time. I'm going through the process of the surgery and a lot of old painful stuff was coming up. And if you don't know the story behind it, Because you've not been following me long enough, I might just share very briefly to give a little bit of context, Even though it's really not about my story necessarily, But to give a little bit of context on what I'm talking about. And of course, Feel free please to leave comments. I'm using a different platform today and I'm actually live on YouTube as well. I don't even know if that works, But if you're on YouTube, You're watching this, Leave me a comment below. You are welcome on YouTube now as well. So the very long story, Very short, And you might know this about me. I used to feel very bad about myself when I was younger. I used to hate myself. I used to hate my body. I was highly depressed. I was very ashamed of myself. And when I was 14 years old, I was already on my first diet because I thought I was fat and ugly. And that's how I was feeling about myself most of my life in a way. And it got to the point that I was developing also earlier than other girls. And it got to the point when I was 16 years old that I felt so ashamed and so uncomfortable in my body that I convinced my mother to let me go on surgery and have a breast reduction because I just felt I couldn't handle that. I didn't want to have it. And that surgery gone very bad. They're literally, You know, Looking back, It was like a little bit of butcher work. You know, They don't, They not only reduced my breasts, They completely cut them off and then left me with terrible scars. And without going into too much detail into that, In the very first moment, I was just happy that I was, You know, Rid of them. Sad, But true. And then growing up, I really did develop even more shame and more discomfort in my body. And for the longest time, I really struggled with severe body image, Eating disorders, Depression, Loneliness, Emotional pain, You name it. And why I'm just going back all the way and sharing this is because so many years later, And I had several surgeries after that to try to kind of like it, It looked that it looks better at least, You know, And had certain, A few reconstruction surgeries, I got implants in and that was terrible as well, Because then I was even more ashamed and the irony of this young girl wanting to get rid of something and then later putting something on. So it has been a very traumatic experience in my life. So this year in January, I had to go on surgery to actually replace those implants and is to show, Even though I've done so much work around it, That actually brought me to doing the inner work in the first place, Because I felt so, So terrible that at some point I just wanted to love myself because I knew if I don't love myself, I'm going to die. I knew like, If I don't learn a different way, If I don't get to a different place, I might take my life away. So that brought me to this whole journey of healing, Transformation and becoming a teacher and a healer myself. Now, Throughout this surgery, I revisited places that I didn't even know were still there. Okay. And I'm saying this also because so many people that come to me and work with me, They often say, Sonja, I've done so much inner work already and I'm still struggling with that. And when I hear the word still, There's always judgment, Like I'm not where I'm supposed to be, Or I should be somewhere else. How can I still struggle with that if I know it's not good? You know, Maybe you can relate to that. Can you relate to that? Like, Give me a hands up. Like, Can you relate to that feeling of I've done so much work and how can I still struggle with this? Right. So, And I've struggled with that actually several years back. I don't, That's not in my mind anymore, But it took me, It took me quite some time. So during this surgery, I touched places of terror, Pain, Shame, Worthlessness, Fear, Like you name it on a such a deep level that I was surprised. And at the same time, I was grateful because it just showed me that there was still something to heal. There was another layer that even though I've done so much before, It's a layer that I didn't hit yet. And I wanna, When it comes to deep acceptance, There's so much I could say about this. I could talk for hours, But I won't, I won't take maybe another 10 minutes. And over the next months, I'm happy to share more. When it comes to deep acceptance, What I realized for myself again, Over and over again over the years, But especially now that I have a totally different perspective on things that I'm a totally different person than 30 years ago, 40 years ago, 20 years ago, Even five years ago, Even one year ago, Even a month ago, I've learned so much. I grew so much. And the one thing that was so profound again, Is it's not so much that this comes up that is the struggle is how we deal with it. And if we are identifying ourselves with it, Because comparing to 20 years ago, Like I go back to that 14 year old girl right now. So I have this image, I have this image of this 14 year old girl. And if I look at her now, With who I am today, With my eyes, I can only see how beautiful she was, How beautiful she was, And what a beautiful body she had. And everything was, You know, Like, There was nothing wrong about her. And yet she just couldn't see it. And I didn't exist yet to be there with her. And there was no other adult in her life back then, That was able to hold the space for her. And when I was 16 years old, And some people asked me, Oh, Are you doing the healing work so that you forgive yourself for that wrong decision? It's like, I never made a wrong decision. My 16 year old girl never made a wrong decision, Even though it's still hurts sometimes thinking about the grief and the pain that I went through when I went through that. But I'm very clear today. I didn't make a wrong decision. I made the decision that was in my best capacity in that moment. And I just couldn't, You know, Like that 16 year old girl couldn't cope with the emotions that were coming up. She couldn't cope with the shame and looking back to see how easily we get traumatized. Like simple things. If you have teenage kids, By the way, Boys or girls, Just as a reminder, You might not see it from the outside, What they're going through. But often like, We are all so sensitive. We are all the same, By the way, Right? Everybody deals with some sort of pain if we show it or not. If pretend it's they are now it doesn't matter. We are all the same and we all want to be loved and accepted. And that's beautiful. And yet we hide it, We fight it. And even simple comments. I remember when I was, And I don't remember a lot of details when I was 14 years old and I was developing earlier and through school we had like a swim class and we were in the water and a boy just said something, Not even intentionally to be mean or anything, Just like boys are, Right? And 14, 13, You know, Like ha ha ha. And they were just pointing at me as like, Oh, Look at her. I don't know exactly, But kind of like made a comment about me and my, My, My boobs and how uncomfortable that was for me. And I didn't realize that back then it just happened. So it's kind of, We are all so sensitive. So when we're young or when we're teenagers, Like it's just not easy to handle what's, What's coming at us, Even though as an adult, We might just see, Oh my God, They're always in resistance or there's a stubborn or they are, You know, Like how kids are and stuff like that. Right? So maybe you want to look at them from a different perspective and look beyond the, What we might pretend to be, Right? Because of course we want to pretend we are so great or we want to pretend we're having it all together. And I can tell you that years ago when I was already working for so long as a self-love coach and I was still kind of working on my self-love issues and I was like, Okay, How can I teach if I don't even have it together? And I think that makes me actually a better teacher than I don't have it all together or better said like that I don't pretend I have it all together because there's not one person out there. And I think to be real and authentic and to deal with these things are just part of our life. And it's beautiful. And deep acceptance, Deep acceptance for me is like you allow everything to be there. Take a moment just right now, Just right now, Wherever you are right now, Take a deep breath and tune inward. What are you experiencing right now in your life? Maybe it's joy and it's beauty, But maybe it's sadness. Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's uncertainty. Maybe it's doubt. Maybe it's physical pain. Maybe it's emotional pain. Maybe it's something completely different. For a moment, Just notice and allow it. We so often try to get rid of things. We only want the good stuff, Not the bad stuff. And especially when you're on a spiritual journey that I consider myself being on, Right? The same time it's like our spiritual illusions grow with us. You know, Oh, It's this enlightened perspective. I'm only light and beauty and acceptance all the time. No, That's bullshit. We are not because we are a human being. The problem is not that we are experiencing fear, That we are experiencing anger, That we are experiencing sadness. That's not the problem at all. The problem is that we try to fight it, That we try to get rid of it, That we judge it and that we want to pretend it's not there. Does that make sense what I'm saying? Is this landing for you? Because in that moment, It's the ego wanting to do something different with it or is telling you, Oh, I shouldn't be the way I am right now. And by doing that, You identify as if that is you. It's like if you are this angry person. No, You are experiencing an emotion right now. And if you want to experience joy, Peace, Love, Like the good stuff, It's also an experience and you want to embrace all of them. All the experience are valid. Deep acceptance for me means like to be allow everything and to love yourself through it. And to love yourself through that moment and to also remind yourself that is an experience and it's not who you are, That you are aware of it. And if you followed me for a while, You know, I often use the ocean as an example and I live by the ocean. So I see the ocean all the time and I get reminded of this all the time. So we often, Like I often use it as the waves are our experiences and the ocean is existence. Let's say that, Oh, You are the ocean and the waves are part of the ocean. So the ocean isn't fighting the waves. The ocean isn't sitting there and it's like, Oh, This is a knife wave. Yes, I want to keep this wave. Oh no, This is not a good wave. Oh, Go away. I never want to see you again. Oh, You are wrong. You are right. No, It's the ocean is full of all different types of waves. And let's say you are a surfer and you are learning how to ride the waves in the beginning that knock your right, Left and center. Maybe you feel like you're drowning sometimes. You get afraid of them and you keep going with it and you learn how to ride the wave. And then you get to ride every wave, Not just the beautiful, Pretty ones, The popular ones. No, Also the pain, The despair, The sadness, The grief. Surrendering into deep acceptance to me as to allow yourself to be real with yourself and to be real with others if you feel safe to do so. And to stop the pretending and the stuff, The comparing and to stop believing in someone else. Has it, You know, Better or they have it all together and that your journey should look different. You are here right now where you are because you're here right now with where you are. And that's the right moment for you to be, Because this is the only moment we have anyway. This is Friday. Today's Monday. So only a few days ago, Friday was one of the most intense days in a long time. I could not stop crying. I was in so much pain and I felt grateful because I was able to hold the space for myself and to be with the pain in a way that I wasn't able to do last time that occurred to me because I've grown since then. You know, I accepted myself more since then. The capacity for me to handle these emotions are way different. And pain has beauty. I'm not talking about the suffering, The pattern, The fighting, The war. Even that is allowed by the way. Even that is allowed. But to have the capacity to be with your pain, The deep pain that wants to feel expressed in that moment as a wave that's coming by. And today it's a totally different day. And there's so much more I would want and can obviously share, But I also want to honor your time. And I have been here now with you already for 20 minutes. So I'm going to take just a few minutes to see if you have specific questions. And my invitation is to simply ponder, Meditate, Journal, Whatever works for you. What does deep acceptance mean to you? And what if today you allow and you accept everything there is as an experience and you don't try to get rid of it, Or you don't try to change it, But you allow yourself to notice it, To love yourself through it. Even if you are having a hard time with that, I love yourself through that too. Even if you're fighting what I'm saying right now, Even if you say, Sonia, That's so easy to say, So difficult. I know, I know. I have gone a long way. I know. I'm with you. I'm totally with you. Love yourself through it in some way. Love the parts that don't love yourself. Like I love everything. Love the good and the bad. And there's no bad in that sense. Does it make sense? Okay. Okay. So let me just take a quick look here. And I appreciate all your love and comments. And I don't think there is, Hi, Hi. So beautiful to see you all. And if you do have any additional questions or you're watching this at a later point, I will call back and check it. Now, Before I leave you for today, And again, I will talk more about this in the future, Take a moment and tune in for yourself with your own story, With your own life. What did you hear today that has been the most valuable for you? What resonated with you? What's your biggest takeaway from this episode today? And leave a comment below. You don't have to obviously, But I do appreciate if you did. And in that way, You also kind of tune into something valuable. You share it, You anchor it, You give someone else the opportunity to have an ahmaha moment as well. And it's great feedback from me too. So of course you don't have to, But I totally appreciate if you do. So what's your biggest takeaway? Write it down in the comment section and practice deep acceptance today, Whatever that looks like for you. There is no right or wrong. Drop for a moment all the ideas. You can even ask the question, What if everything I believe right now as a spiritual seeker is maybe not right, Not true. Maybe it is. I'm not saying change your mind. I'm not saying disagree with you. Just be open to revisit it, To look at it from a perspective, From a different perspective and then say, Hey, What if I practice to just kind of be the ocean today, Experiencing all these emotions or waves or that can also be beautiful, But the beautiful ones, We don't worry about them. The beautiful ones we don't fight, Right? The beautiful ones we want to keep, We want to control them. Doesn't work, Doesn't work. So everything has merit. Everything is allowed. Everything is beautiful. Even in the darkest painful moments. Okay. So let me see if I see some comments and then I'll let you go for another wonderful, Inspired, Hopefully meaningful week. So one takeaway here is hold your pain. Don't try to get rid of it. Yeah. Great takeaway. Another takeaway, The most valuable I heard today, Allow everything to be there and love yourself through it. That's the whole takeaway. Yeah. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you, Tine. Eileen say can't go backwards. Not so sure what you mean, But yeah, I mean, You cannot go back to the past, But you can, You can still be with maybe what's there in the past that wants to be healed. I can't go back to my 14 year old in physical form, But I can actually go back because she's still living in me. So anything that's unresolved will affect you in some way internally. So yeah, You can't really go backwards and yet you can make a difference now for something that happened in the past, If that makes sense. Be the ocean. Yeah. Such a good takeaway. Another takeaway. Hi Pamela. Nice to see you. That's not, That's not me as the experience, Even though it feels like me realization that I did the opposite and I welcome allowing. Accept your life and life as it is. Try not to fight the uncomfortable things. Love yourself through it. Yeah. Thank you, Dolly. So I, What I hear you say, What's so far better is like, Love yourself through it and don't fool. Don't let your mind fool yourself. Oh, That means like then everything is fine. No, Love yourself through everything. Love yourself through the fact that you don't want to love yourself. Maybe even love yourself to the fact that you're judgmental with yourself. Love yourself with the fact that you judge others, Whatever it is. Love yourself for the fact that you're pretending or you want to pretend, You know, It's just like being real and dare to tap into the pain if it arises because there's beauty in it and it can be so, So healing. Okay. Wonderful. Thank you for being here. I honor that you took the time. I would be more than excited and happy if you come back next Monday and I will share, I'm not a hundred percent sure yet what I'm going to share. So just keep your eyes and ears open, But I'm going to share more about the journey and teach you the, My most valuable lessons. Have a fantastic, Beautiful, Inspired, Meaningful week. And if this was helpful for you, Share it, Share it with a friend. And I'm looking forward to seeing you next Monday again at 9 AM Pacific time, 12 PM Eastern time for a new episode of Sown in Fifth Monday. Much, Much love.

Reviews

So much to think about here and put into practice 🙏🏼 thank you!

Thank You! I love the ocean 🌊 wave metaphor ✨

Excellent ... so valuable for self image